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|10-28-2009, 02:39 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2009
Love – Awakening, Ego & The Feeling Of Love I Lost Trust In
A while ago I had something of an epiphany about the feeling of love I had always cherished and looked at as an important part in choosing a romantic partner.
I had always avoided or ended intimate relationships where this “spark” or feeling didn’t exist from the get go or wouldn’t rapidly approach my “heart” when getting to know a person.
My belief was that this feeling was actually love.
One reason for this belief is probably the amount of romantic clichés we’re constantly bombarded with every day of our lives through art, poetry, movies, books, fairy tales, music and so on.
Before my realization I had seen lots of people staying in relationships where this feeling of “love” wasn’t present and for many had never been there to begin with.
Sadly I have to admit that I actually looked down on those relationships. I viewed them in a negative manner based on the assumption that what I had always felt when it was “right” was love.
But it wasn’t.
David R. Hawkins Vs “Love”
I’ve read six of Dr David R. Hawkins’ books and also listened to hours of interviews with him and I found all of them very interesting in many ways.
In one of the interviews Hawkins talks about the concept of love where he makes a distinction between what he calls “ordinary love” and “real love” and below is a summary of what he said about the two and what signifies them:
Ordinary ”Love” – Solar Plexus Based – Involvement – Possessiveness, Control, Attraction
You feel madly in love.
If things go wrong suicide could be contemplated.
It’s a product of the animal, instinctual realm.
Involving sex hormones, adrenaline, excitement and all kinds of melodrama.
Usually not lasting long and infatuations come and go, lovers come and go.
Having to do with desire, wanting, craving & addiction.
Involvement(ordinary “love”) is more concerned with winning that seeing to that the other person is fulfilled.
Real love cannot turn to hate. Hate has to do with jealousy, possession and control and if love turns to hate then it wasn’t love to begin with.
If real love is lost one can feel regret and mourn but it doesn’t go into hate, murder or suicide.
If you got a pet that leaves you you feel loss and you feel sad but you don’t seek revenge.
Trying to possess a person automatically puts up a resistance in the other person because it’s like using emotional force.
Real Love – Alignment – Two parallel lines – No friction
Actual love is to align yourself with the other persons happiness and the good and the welfare of the relationship.
In true love the happiness and fulfillment of the other person begins to take priority over satisfying ones own desires. Helping the other person fulfill their potential and achieve their happiness.
Alignment(real love) is more concerned with long term goals.
You need to know only one sentence to have a successful relationship and it’s :
”It’s Ok with me dear”.
Whether you are right or not is irrelevant because what you want is for the other person to be happy.
The more you forego you own wants, desires and cravings for the sake of the relationship mysteriously the happier you get. You didn’t get to see the movie you wanted to see at the movies but somehow your life is happier because it’s joyful to make those you love happy.
You let your cat sleep where it wants to be happy. Do yo do the same thing with your spouse?
Treat your relationship at least as well as your pet and you’ll be happy.
The specialness of one person is all in your head. There is no specialness out there.
Specialness is something within yourself that you then project onto the world.
Specialness connected with survival and starts with your mother being very special and then projected onto other things and people.
Learn to make everything in your life special.
When you make something or someone special you see it’s real value which is divine.
Making something special is giving something outside of yourself power over your life. Am I willing to give away power to that and make my life dependent on it?
Alignment puts you in touch with purpose, goals and future developments and the goal becomes an attraction and an ideal that you strive for.
If someone just loves you there’s nothing you can do about that – if someone wants and desires you there’s a lot you can do to resist that – but if they just love you for who you are there isn’t anything you can do to stop that.
If you love someone just love them and stop trying to look for something out of it and if the relationship is karmically destined to begin with it will automatically come into fulfillment and if it’s not destined it won’t.
If your alignment is with happiness then you try to follow the higher path rather than the lower path.
I think there’s so much value in Dr. Hawkins’ words about love and relationships and these days I consider unconditional love to be the only “real love” there is but even though I had listened to this interview many times and pondered it and agreed with what he says the message just hadn’t made it’s way to my core level of knowing. It had been more of an intellectual understanding.
A while ago I my perception of the “feeling of love” shifted when I started looking back at my life realizing that this great “pointer” didn’t point me in some “right” direction at all. It had just been ego based feelings of wanting, control, possessiveness and so on.
So then and there I decided to start completely disregarding that feeling and finding other ways of deciding what person to get romantically aligned(not involved) with.
And even though I believe you probably have to be enlightened/free of ego to truly love a partner unconditionally I am now closer to real love than ever before in my life.
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