Emotional Integration & Boundaries

[straysweeper]

I just had a talk with a friend of mine. Going over some of what he has done lately to achieve certain results, and its lead me to this. I often feel sensitive to others, so much so I often wonder if I'm not empathic? But that may be too strong a word. I just know I've always felt strong emotions, yet while seeing myself as reserved and controlled. Also, I tend to identify with the problems or emotions of others.

Talking with certain people drain me, others energize me. Those I'm around right now don't connect with me, because they don't really seem to care about what I care about, and I can't care about what they do, because it doesn't really serve them. Its part of my nature to want to help and to serve, so when I hear problems, I want to provide solutions. But those I'm around even have told me, they either don't want to hear it, or perhaps worse, will listen, then make a sarcastic joke about therefore wasting my in a sense my purpose.

This has lead me to the need to adopt a global belief to where I can still care about people without losing myself to within their world. Made simiply, how to be me and them be them, and me still be happy reguardless. I just noticed another desire to want useful in all situations, Ace of all trades, if you will.

Also, I've noticed aspects of myself that I reject, such as physical flaws, aspects of my sexuality, and my weaknesses, and the wasted years of my life. I've wasted years when I was younger, and even the last year of my life has been a delay of sorts. At least situationally. I think this should create a strong desire to live life to the fullest, but I still fear, and feel I hold back who I really am.

[straysweeper]

I was recommended to ask questions to stir discussion. While I notice I find it difficult to ask a questions that are more concepts in my mind.

How do you face your fears? How do you see the world in such a way to love yourself, while not identifying or being pulled in by everyone elses sob stories, problems or weaknesses?

How do you allow yourself to be you, allow them to be them, while still caring, but not letting it bring you down, or negatively influence you, either with guilt that your not doing more?

Another sense, how do I pull myself together from one part feeling this or that, thinking this AND that, THEN this PLUS one more thing. Its overwhelming. Then I distract myself and do nothing, and to an extent turn of my emotions rather than face them.

If your well adjusted, or on the path to being so. If your happy with who you are, flaws and all. If your capable of going after what you want, regardless of obstacles. How did you become so? What have you done, or what are you doing now that creates it? What are your key philosophies, distinctions, beliefs.

(kicks himself for leaving steves book and most of his library in Vegas).

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by straysweeper

How do you face your fears? How do you see the world in such a way to love yourself, while not identifying or being pulled in by everyone elses sob stories, problems or weaknesses?

You see the world as yourself 100% no exceptions. Everything is a reflection of you and you attract only that which is like you. Sounds to me like you could be more compassionate toward your own sob stories, problems and weaknesses.

How do you allow yourself to be you, allow them to be them, while still caring, but not letting it bring you down, or negatively influence you, either with guilt that your not doing more?

Understand that the only person you have responsibility for on the planet is yourself. No one else. Understand that you are 100% responsible for the people you attract into your reality and choose to surround yourself with. Don't like the people, become a different person or choose different ones.

Another sense, how do I pull myself together from one part feeling this or that, thinking this AND that, THEN this PLUS one more thing. Its overwhelming. Then I distract myself and do nothing, and to an extent turn of my emotions rather than face them.

Have you considered meditation and psychotherapy (with a positively oriented therapist)? I found these two resources immensely valuable while sorting and cleaning up my inner mess.

If your well adjusted, or on the path to being so. If your happy with who you are, flaws and all. If your capable of going after what you want, regardless of obstacles. How did you become so? What have you done, or what are you doing now that creates it? What are your key philosophies, distinctions, beliefs.

Check out this great thread which seems to deal with laziness but really deals with aligning with one's inner being: Overcoming extreme laziness

[thebestlife]

Originally Posted by straysweeper

I just had a talk with a friend of mine. Going over some of what he has done lately to achieve certain results, and its lead me to this. I often feel sensitive to others, so much so I often wonder if I'm not empathic? But that may be too strong a word. I just know I've always felt strong emotions, yet while seeing myself as reserved and controlled. Also, I tend to identify with the problems or emotions of others.

Talking with certain people drain me, others energize me. Those I'm around right now don't connect with me, because they don't really seem to care about what I care about, and I can't care about what they do, because it doesn't really serve them. Its part of my nature to want to help and to serve, so when I hear problems, I want to provide solutions. But those I'm around even have told me, they either don't want to hear it, or perhaps worse, will listen, then make a sarcastic joke about therefore wasting my in a sense my purpose.

This has lead me to the need to adopt a global belief to where I can still care about people without losing myself to within their world. Made simiply, how to be me and them be them, and me still be happy reguardless. I just noticed another desire to want useful in all situations, Ace of all trades, if you will.

Also, I've noticed aspects of myself that I reject, such as physical flaws, aspects of my sexuality, and my weaknesses, and the wasted years of my life. I've wasted years when I was younger, and even the last year of my life has been a delay of sorts. At least situationally. I think this should create a strong desire to live life to the fullest, but I still fear, and feel I hold back who I really am.

You only truly serve others (at least that what I think) when you are at your best-happy and easy on your self. I use to be so sensitive to how other people live their life and wanted to fix or help them all the time. Now I know I was just affirming that they cant help them selves instead and thats not very kind. No one can change our reality and our perception on the world around us,but ourselves. We make a decision to do that on our own and thats how new reality is created. I respect the reality that people choose to create for themselves now and maintain my happiness no mater what as I know that we are all connected and this is the best i can do for everyone around me. I had real issue with guilt when I saw people having less then me and I realize now how unkind to me that was and useless.At the beginning of me changing I was thinking that I m becoming selfish and inhuman but I know that was my ego trying to keep me where it can control me. Now I really stay away from guilt and pity now. It so damaging to me and others. I can still help people,but I dont want to feel sorry for anyone. We are all amazing ,it just has be acknowledged by us first and also others.