How to stay focused with your back against the wall...

[da1prophet]

I need some input and advice--I've recently decided to change the focus of my business. I've been wanting to do this for awhile, but I'm essentially being forced to do it now due to some structural changes in my industry that are beyond my control. Anyway, I try to rationalize it by saying that "my bridges are burnt" like Steve suggests. I've done a good job so far staying "on task" and positive as I implement my 180 degree change in my business model, but every now and then I get overwhelmed by fear, anger, etc. that I'm being "forced" to make such a huge change that I'd be better off doing gradually.

I'll be OK in the long haul, but how do you suggest I approach this to keep a positive mindset?

[sadavis00]

well, lets not kid ourselves, something bad has happened, and you are feeling negative since it has happened, which is natural. You can "try" to maintain a positive attitude, but it takes too much mental energy to do so constantly, in my opinion, especially since you willl be fighting both your intelligence and intuition which are telling you something bad has happened. I would suggest that you acknowledge the negative feelings, and use them to motivate you if that is possible. Basically, the problem is not that you are having negative feelings, but that they are interfering with your work. The problem maybe that you are identifying your work with your "self". For example, the change in business may mean a loss of some kind, which means you are hurting or losing a part of your "self". This maybe a reason why feeling of anger etc. start to overwhelm you. I would suggest that you disconnect your "self" from your work. I have found a way to use the concept of soul to disconnect my "self" from attachment to material things, while still having the motivation to work hard, in spite of obstacles, but my approach may not work for you, so see if you can find your own way. If identifying with your work was not the problem in the first place, then I am sorry I made you read this long post!

[da1prophet]

Originally Posted by sadavis00

well, lets not kid ourselves, something bad has happened, and you are feeling negative since it has happened, which is natural. You can "try" to maintain a positive attitude, but it takes too much mental energy to do so constantly, in my opinion, especially since you willl be fighting both your intelligence and intuition which are telling you something bad has happened. I would suggest that you acknowledge the negative feelings, and use them to motivate you if that is possible. Basically, the problem is not that you are having negative feelings, but that they are interfering with your work. The problem maybe that you are identifying your work with your "self". For example, the change in business may mean a loss of some kind, which means you are hurting or losing a part of your "self". This maybe a reason why feeling of anger etc. start to overwhelm you. I would suggest that you disconnect your "self" from your work. I have found a way to use the concept of soul to disconnect my "self" from attachment to material things, while still having the motivation to work hard, in spite of obstacles, but my approach may not work for you, so see if you can find your own way. If identifying with your work was not the problem in the first place, then I am sorry I made you read this long post!

That was actually very profound--I think to some extent its like when a football player or boxer retires from his sport. If you had interviewed them *before* their retirement they would have said about how they were looking forward to this new chapter in life, they'd have more time for their family, wouldn't have to train all the time etc. But obviously its difficult to leave something that so much of their identity is wrapped up in. I don't know how much of a boxing fan you are, but take Roy Jones, Jr. for example--he was regarded as the best "pound for pound" fighter in the sport for many years. Basically, age caught up to him and he wasn't able to fight at the level he had in the past. He's not one of those guys who doesn't have any other options in life--he's got a ton of money, has been in some films (the 2nd Matrix movie for one), has always had a number of other outside interests and has a regular gig doing color commentary on HBO. He didn't suffer any lasting physical or mental damage from the sport--he's still as sharp as a tack. Even so, he's had a *very* difficult time staying retired--while his experience isn't unusual among athletes its a good example since he has other options and interests, but he's had a hard time letting go of that part of his identity.

So back to my situation--I've actually wanted to change the focus of my business for a few years anyway. Yet when it came about out of the blue it was harder than I thought--and I think you hit the nail on the head that it was because I didn't deal with the part of my identity that came from it. Instead of focusing on the positives that could come from this change--more money, freedom and time, for example--I've only focused on the loss of this part of my identity.

It's kind of like Steve talked about when he got out of the game development biz to do what he does now. He had to make essentially a "clean break" from his previous role. He did this proactively, which allowed him to more efficiently disengage his identity as a game developer. I'm in a position where I'm not doing it--at least at this point in time--entirely by choice. And you're absolutely right that its been a large part of my identity for some time.

In return, sorry to make you read through such a lengthy reply but you really hit the nail on the head! Now that I "get" what my issue is its a lot easier to deal with. You should send me a bill for this ; )