anger at work- am i in the wrong?

[loveandfear]

ive just cycled home from work and im aware that i am full of a lot of anger from just little things that happend today with the person i work with and i dont know how to deal with it!!

basically, i worked very long hours the day before, so i was very tired and aching physically but so was my colleague, so we both werent on good form which i think is a primary stimulant for anger- tiredness...

anyway, the thing is, me and this guy, we have to share a workload, we are friends, but for a lot of the day he was not doing the work set, he was on his mobile phone texting, or on facebook and i was working solidly.

so im angry at him because he is unaware i am working much more than him, he doesnt care, we're both getting paid the same amount and the boss likes him more so he gets away with it.

i just get so pumped up with anger at work it bothers me and then i dont know how to deal with it and im scared to express the anger to him because hes a nice guy and i respect him a lot, so i think i might be out of order, but it doesnt change the fact i feel this anger towards him....

i want to shout at him, tell him to do some work, that im working much harder than him.....all these feelings....but then i think ill regret it.....and then i contain that anger and dont know how to release it and its still inside me when i leave work...i look glum, im annoyed and he's left work and in a great mood and beaming....

its crap...

any ideas...

[ssandra]

Is this something that happens a lot, or just this one time?

if it happens just this one time, let it go. Everybody is entitled to a bad / lazy day every now and then.

if it happens all the time you could talk to him about it, but not until you are not angry anymore. Maybe suggest a more defined workload? Such as; he is responsable for A, B, C, you for D, E, F.

If he slacks then, it will be noticed.

But for now... go take a shower, indulge in something nice, relax, play with your dog/cat/husband/wife... go for a nice long walk... RELAX. It is your night off, be calm.

[Daffy Duck]

For the future, I'd suggest splitting up the tasks, writing them down, and letting the boss know who is responsible for what. If he doesn't get his tasks done, then he's to blame.

[aggie]

i think we all go through this no matter what we do for a living....

i think it is a fact of life.

ultimately when i have these feelings i just remember i am responsible for what i do and my own personal work ethic and intergrity.

it is natural to feel the way you do....but feel it and then try to release it and enjoy your time away from work in some of the above suggested ways.

[pushbutton]

I don't know the exact dynamics or relationships at play in your particular workplace, other than what you've mentioned, but to me it sounds like if you continue to put up with this, and the boss starts to notice things are not getting done, sooner or later YOU are going to get the blame for this.

Best case scenario - you get blamed and you feel unfairly treated (probably justifiably) and you blame the lazy guy and you end up hating your job, and your boss thinks YOU are lazy.

Worst case scenario - you eventually lose your job because of it.

Rather than wait till it gets anywhere near that stage I think you need to confront the issues as early as possible. Splitting the tasks and deciding between you who does what is probably a very good first step. If this other guy thinks he can get away with letting you do all the work he'll probably just keep doing it. You probably need to let him know (in an amicable and professional way) that you won't keep putting up with it, and that you are prepared to do your share of the work but you expect him to do his too.

If you try to sort it out with him and after a reasonable period of time and a couple of tries it still doesn't work, then you should consider talking to the boss and asking him / her to help you work out a fairer way to share the load. If you need to do this, try to make sure you don't come across as a whinger, but rather make it clear that you just need a bit of extra support with ways to ensure the workload is shared fairly and everything gets done.

That being said, sometimes these situations are not as simple as they might sound and can be very tricky, because it can be all about individual personalities, power struggles, and politics.

If the situation is such that you don't think following my advice would help, then sadly it's probably a good time for you to start looking for another job, rather than waiting till this one drags you down!