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|07-19-2009, 05:00 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Shutting my mouth about a friend's lies?
I am friends with 3 sisters.(let's call them A,B and C)
We went out yesterday for a much awaited girls night ( this was the first time we were in the same space geographically in 10 years).
Everyone agreed to take turns paying for drinks. C waited to be the last to pay for them, and when it was her turn, she didn't take out her wallet so I nudged her and said: Your turn. I had already mentioned she was next because I had the feeling she would dodge her responsibility. Finally she looked at me with a smile and said: Sorry I have no money, my sister is paying for me. I told her I would have liked to know we were treating her from the beginning.
What the other girls don't know is that she owes money to all her friends. One of them is now in dire straits and she doesn't want to reimburse him.
She got money from her dad and didn't use it to give the money back to her friends but to buy herself a computer. She goes to a personal development group where she sinks all her money. ( so far she invested over $15 000).Her choice. She has tried to get her family and friends to join in such an aggressive way that now her friends keep her at arm length.
She told me and her sisters she quit her job but the truth is that she had an argument with her boss about the P.D group. Her boss took a week-end class and left before the end and said it was not worth the money.My friend got angry at her and quit or was fired. Instead of finding a job that would cover her expenses, she is involved in selling insurances, but before starting to make a profit she needs to sink $ 300.00 in classes. On top of that she is paid on commission.
She constantly talks about manifesting abundance and all the lingo of the law of attraction, but she wants other people to pay for it.
I am angry at her, partly because she made me look like the bad guy.I do not want to associate with her. On the other hand, sister B is my best friend and, living far away, doesn't know what's going on. She has asked me many times to let her know if there is something going on with her sister.
It's very hard for me to keep my mouth shut because I feel this girl is fooling everybody and making herself pass for a victim while she is lying to everybody so she can get financed. She also has a child and I personally do not think it's right to ask other people to finance your children, in any way, shape or form.
She is not upfront about things because she invests the money she is given in her P.D seminars and such, not in necessities. Also, she is getting abundance from other people and some of them are now in lack because she doesn't give the money she owes back.
I need to keep my mouth shut to keep the peace, but it's not in my nature.I decided not to associate with the 3 of them together anymore but I know whenever I will be alone with sister B, my best buddy, she will ask me what was wrong on that night and I might spill the beans.
|07-20-2009, 08:20 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: I'm a traveler everywhere and nowhere.. currently in Denver.. where else?
That is the correct decision.. a better one is not to judge.. it doesn't matter how any of them get their money.. that is a judgment.. creating with LOA is creating with LOA.. it can come in any form and any shape.. and you are judging in multiple ways including saying that there abundance is invalid..
It's the same as saying.. 1 person get's there abundance from robbing a bank and getting away with it.. another get's it via the lottery.. most people commonly would judge the robber as being 'bad' and this is where there incorrect.. both forms of abundance are valid.. both are right from a higher perspective..
Anyway.. let me come back to it.. I'll give you a simple example from my own life..
Early this evening.. I got out of a game that was annoyingly not going my way (not winning) I was not happy/annoyed by it.. and the noisy (judgment ) neighbor comes over and talking to my sister and trying to talk to me.. I choose to ignore her cause I have nothing to say to her.. and she calls me grumpy (judgment) and still tries to get me into a conversation.. of which I don't engage her..
A person that doesn't have as much understanding of their selves as I do.. might choose to get into a conversation with said person and even turn it into a form of venting anger..
My point is that no one.. has to talk to anyone they don't want too.. not out of politeness or ethics or anything.. it's a selfish life and do what's best for you always..
I highly suggest again you release your judgments about these people and anger.. and allow them to be them and allow you to be you.. and here's a tip from a teacher of mine.. "reach for the best feeling thought"
|07-20-2009, 07:11 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2008
I might advise you to be friend of people who makes you to be a better person, not people with objectionable values. When you do that, you improve yourself and make this world a better place.
The problem of manipulative people is that people realize at some point that they are being manipulated. And that's where the show ends for the manipulator.
|07-20-2009, 07:27 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2008
C33, this is what I would do:
1. I would feel free to spill the beans to the sister.
2. If what you say is accurate, I would think your friend who talks about "manifesting abundance" is full of it. People who are able to manifest abundance have no need to steal or lie. Thievery is a symptom of scarcity, not abundance.
$15,000 for personal development classes? D'oh! I bet they welcome her with open arms to every class!
3. I would consider dropping the friendship. It sounds like you already have.
Best of luck to you. Create what you want.
|07-23-2009, 01:35 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Thank you very much for all your replies.I found little nuggets of wisdom in all of them.
I found compassion for that person because she is trying so very hard to better her life and she believes so much in her PD program that there is something almost naive about the way she goes about it.
I am not saying LOA doesn't work, just that the program she is a part of seems mercantile and manipulative, turning this person into a manipulative, individual, serving the mercantile goals of program that is more like a business.
I think she is more of a lost soul than an evil manipulator. I don't want to associate with her as a friend but would have her around socially with her sisters.
It is a challenge for me to keep my big mouth shut but I will let her choices speak for her.
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