How do YOU define LOVE?

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

I've been cogitating on love lately. I reckon it's actually the energy that connects us together and is also what some people call God. I reckon it's everywhere and we are all made up of it.

Rather an all encompassing statement, I suppose.

What do you think?

How do you define love?

lots of it!
Hazel

[Gordon]

A little itch on the heart that you can't scratch!!

G

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by ReallyGoodIdeas

I've been cogitating on love lately. I reckon it's actually the energy that connects us together and is also what some people call God. I reckon it's everywhere and we are all made up of it.

Rather an all encompassing statement, I suppose.

What do you think?

How do you define love?
Hazel

My definition of “love” is similar to yours, Hazel.

I was never really satisfied with what the vast majority of people defined as love as they seem to use the word so frivolously such that it has very little meaning or significance when it is supposedly being used “for real”. I’ve never been the most emotional individual and I always felt that there was much more to “love” then the mere expression of sentiment and the feeling one experiences in relation to someone who is close to you (i.e. your partner, a friend, your family, etc). I asked many people what they thought love was and I never got an answer I was satisfied with. They spoke of something profound yet their actions failed to support their definition -- it seemed to be more of a mental concept more then anything. Only much later I realised that my suspicions were perfectly warranted (at least, I think so). Don’t get me wrong, though -- I'm not denying the existence of the more emotional (and what I consider to be person to person “energy” transferral related) “love”, I’d just label it with a word such as “affection” rather then “love” as I feel it is a more accurate description. I hesitate to say that “love” has become a dirty and misused word, but unfortunately, for many people I believe it has.

I’ve only had very brief (non-romantic) experiences with what I’d truly consider to be love (not just the emotional/romantic/person to person energy transferral kind) and they were characterised by an intense sense of joy, complete acceptance of what “is”, and a deep sense of knowing or “feeling realisation” that everything is connected. Based on my experiences, it is something that simply cannot be expressed in words or understood by the mind; it is something that has to be felt, but not emotionally -- it is more so something you experience as part of, and at the same time, with your whole being -- your entire sense of awareness -- as you blend in with everything around you and the illusionary veil of separation drops away. You can certainly use the mind to describe it as a concept, but the concept is nothing more then a signpost pointing to what is being described and is by no means a substitute for the real thing. Overall, I believe love is more of a state then a temporary feeling that is subject to change. I believe the state can induce feelings, but the feelings do not characterise the state entirely.

Prior to my experiences I had read about the concept of non-duality, but it was a flat, empty concept to me. I understood it completely mentally, but I had not yet “realised” it and it was completely foreign to me in an experiential sense; I lacked the experience to give meaning to the word. Moving back to the present time, I’m pleased to have glimpses of the state as it gives me a direction to head in -- a heading, if you will. I’m unable to maintain the state consciously, but I believe that’s because I don’t meet the necessary requirements. It’s like trying to reach something that is suspended high up in the air beyond your reach. You jump up at it from where you are currently standing and temporarily experience what is associated with it if you manage to latch onto a ledge, but these experiences will only be fleeting at best and eventually you'll slip off and fall back down to your original position. If you want to make your way up there and stay up there, you need to build a solid base -- a staircase of sorts -- that will lead you to your destination in a more sustainable manner. I believe the Levels of Consciousness scale Steve posted is fairly accurate in regards to the analogy I used. I can’t prove that “scientifically”, but it seems to be a decent guideline when I compare my experiences to the scale.

That said, I could be wrong... maybe in 5 years time I’ll look back at what I wrote here and think “hmmm, what was I smoking back then?!”. I've certainly been wrong in the past (or so my memories tell me... oh, and other people ), but that's just part of the terrain of the path of continuous self-improvement. With that in mind, I generally prefer to make judgements and have an opinion on something rather then indecisively sitting on the fence all the time, but I’m completely open to making new realisations and completely overhauling whatever beliefs or opinions I have. Amusingly enough, I find many people find this quality to be somewhat frustrating as I never seem to be an accurate match for whatever people label me with (at least, not for long). I think Steve has a similar problem (see the last paragraph of the article after the "wink" emoticon).

[Adam]

The simple definition that I have is that love is the condition whereby another person's happiness is essential to your own.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

Bruce:
I'll just remember you're a slippery beast then! Thanks for a well-thought out post!

I read the David Hawkins book Power vs Thought, and apart from the appeal to "science" in it, I thought it was brilliant and explained a lot. The state of Love listed there, makes sense to me, in that we become aware of the energy flow that is love.

Adam: It's good!

Gordon: keep scratching!

[Dharma]

Love is connection. Love is receiving that which is.

[Jill]

Originally Posted by Adam

The simple definition that I have is that love is the condition whereby another person's happiness is essential to your own.

Wow, I really like that. I think that's basically what it is for me, but I never thought about it like that before!

[placebo]

I belive that love is a moment. And that moment can last for 50 years or just for a day. But in that moment you stop being selfish for the first tme in your life. You're willing to let other person to change you because losing her would be a thousand times more painful than changing yourself. By doing that a man is growing and becoming a better person

[Michael Chui]

Love, verb transitive: to become more equal with something due to understanding.

Love, noun: 1. the process of equalization through understanding; 2. the condition of feeling something to be extraordinarily intimate to oneself, as an end state to love as a process.

Aqualgidus.org > The Definition of Love

[renie408]

It's like art, you know it when you see it.

Actually, the definition that I came up years ago goes something like this: There are people I would run into a burning building to save, but I would probably stop and think for a second or two first. Then there are people I would run into a burning building to save without hesitation. THOSE are the people that I love. My husband, my mother and my children (I actually have a dog I would do that for, too, but I almost didn't write that because I thought it would make me seem weird. But I am trying to get over worrying about what other people think about me, so there you go). For me, love is caring more for someone else than you care for yourself and also wanting their good over yours.

[renie408]

>>I belive that love is a moment. And that moment can last for 50 years or just for a day. But in that moment you stop being selfish for the first tme in your life. You're willing to let other person to change you because losing her would be a thousand times more painful than changing yourself. By doing that a man is growing and becoming a better person<<

This is response reminds me of the Gift of the Magi. You are willing to change for the person you love, but if they love YOU, they don't want you to change. I am right now working through having wanted my poor husband to have changed some things about himself for the past 25 years. Nothing big, just little things. Recently, I guess I started to grow up and grow in how I love him. Because I now recognize those things as part of HIM and I love HIM. Also, he isn't me. His weird habits do not reflect on me. That last part is hard with children, too. It is hard to let the people you love be themselves, but probably the greatest gift of love you can give them.

[Akashic_Librarian]

Love is the Soulfire. Love is the Lifestream. Love is the Darklight and Mind-sea.

[Angela]

I've already said elsewhere what my definition of love is: to create freedom for the person to be exactly as he is, and exactly as he isn't.

This morning I was reading Practicing the Power of Now and I came across a passage that really struck me:

"As you may have noticed, (relationships) are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world."

Of course it was the perfect time for me to read that. Just thought I'd share it with you.

[sourceofmiracles]

realization of oneness with [add subject here]

[Sekou]

Hrm, forgot where I read this, most likely around Steve Pavlina's site somewhere, but I like it.

"Love is the absence of fear."

[Dating Specialist]

Love is a choice.

[Liara Covert]

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend you hate." -Anonymous

"Love is a better teacher than duty." -Albert Einstein

"Nothing that is worth knowing can be easily taught." -Oscar Wilde

"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”- C.S. Lewis

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of love, trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." -Helen Keller

[Mark Lapierre]

I agree with both Adam's and Michael's definitions to some extent.

I don't believe love exists in any physical form. So I don't believe it is an energy.

I agree with Bruce that the word "love" is misused, but only because people sometimes use it to mislead others, or are misleading themselves yet believing what they feel is what they define as love when it is either lust or some other feeling.

Love is an abstract concept, and it's very hard to reach a common understanding of abstract concepts defined in the English language (though I don't know if it's any easier in other languages). There are many degrees of love, which I think is why Bruce is unsatisfied with other's definition of love; they apply it to many degrees of love, but he thinks it should only apply to something which is greater, and all-encompassing. Would that be right Bruce?

If that's the case, I think we're assigning yet another meaning to the word, and one which unnecessarily adds to the existing complexity.

Love can't be measured, but when the word is used to describe a feeling, its intensity can vary. Unlike renie I would still consider love to be the feeling I feel for someone I would hesitate to run into a burning building to save. I would still love them, just slightly less than someone I wouldn't hesitate to risk my life for.

I no longer have an issue with the way in which the word love is used. Either the context in which it is used will reveal the level of emotion being described, or I'll ask for clarification until that revelation occurs.

[Michael Chui]

Mark, I would point out that in my explanatory essay, I actually discuss degrees of love on both the "understanding" axis and the "equality" axis.

[renie408]

I can agree with Mark to a degree. I think the litmus test I am using is to separate those for whom I have a general esteem and those for whom I have a personal attachment. I would like to think I would run into that building for a stranger who needed my help. I think that stems from the love I have for people in general and the respect and esteem which I hold for life. But that feeling is different from the feeling I have for those specific people I mentioned in my earlier post. Perhaps it is just a difference in intensity as Mark says.

[Mark Lapierre]

Michael, sorry, I neglected to mention that your essay discussed degrees of love.

Renie, perhaps it's also a difference in quality as well as intensity? I suppose it's a distinction we understand intuitively.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

Loving the contributions so far!

Interesting that most of us consider love as something we feel for others. I suppose I've maybe de-personalised it somewhat by referring to it as "the energy that connects us together and is also what some people call God. I reckon it's everywhere and we are all made up of".

I went to Philosophy classes once, and we came up with a definition for love as "nothing in-between". Meaning that in loving someone we love them with their foibles and shortcomings and that we are able to be, and are completely honest with those we love. Nothing about burning buildings per se, although I suppose they could get involved somehow!

Nothing in-between means it must be love that is in-between us. It must be the connection between us. When I do EFT with people, I can "read" their minds. Their thoughts spread to me as well. This was a new thing for me, although I know psychics etc get it all the time. So is love transmitting this?

A lovely woman I'm doing EFT with at the moment hypothesised that EFT works by love. I wrote about it here. So that made love the energy the moves through us, as well as the energy that moves us. Amazing stuff for me anyway! Please carry on, I'm loving this!