Feeling Good is a Choice

[UnleashReality]

Hey everyone.

Just wrote an article entitled "Feeling good is a choice" about how we give meaning to things that happen to us and the emotions that result.

Would really appreciate any comments, questions or thoughts. Leave them here or on my site, i'll copy the ones left here to my site unless you specify you'd rather not have them on my site too.

Keen to get some feedback because the ideas have been stirring around for a while and finally got them out there. it's not too long. check it out.

Here's a link to the article: Feeling Good is a Choice

Really appreciated
Alex

[Simcha]

thanks for the post - really enjoyed it and left a more specific comment on your blog

Enjoy the Day

[pamelas]

I like your article. I think that's true -- we make up stories about things that happen to us. But I think the stories we make up are based on our beliefs about ourselves. Beliefs that may be erroneous. Beliefs we choose to believe (most likely subconsciously) because of what our parents, teachers or others have said to us when we were young, or at critical moments in our lives. I think it's important to examine our beliefs in a conscious way so we can break the habit of always attaching meaning to events that happen to us. That's my thought, anyway.

[young]

Very good article, indeed!

[Orecle]

Originally Posted by UnleashReality

Hey everyone.

Just wrote an article entitled "Feeling good is a choice" about how we give meaning to things that happen to us and the emotions that result.

Would really appreciate any comments, questions or thoughts. Leave them here or on my site, i'll copy the ones left here to my site unless you specify you'd rather not have them on my site too.

Keen to get some feedback because the ideas have been stirring around for a while and finally got them out there. it's not too long. check it out.

Here's a link to the article: Feeling Good is a Choice

Really appreciated
Alex

Interesting post

I have a question

If we make ourselves feel good or bad by the meaning we attach

COULD OR SHOULD WE

make ourselves feel good about something we feel bad about

ie Can i feel good about a job I hate? Should i feel good about it? If yes, then I dont need to do jobs I have prior passion for?

Could I make myself feel good being, with a person I feel nothing for?

Just curious to see what you think?

[nhaasch]

Originally Posted by UnleashReality

Would really appreciate any comments, questions or thoughts.

Feeling good is a choice.

Now, why make the choice to feel good? I'm serious with this question. Feeling bad is a choice that some people make.

Now more related to the article I'm intrigued that article is mostly in thought and feeling space. While I agree with the article, I also notice that there are some simple physical and environmental things that can drastically affect feeling good. I'll grant that these feeling good are still created by the mind. Still, sometimes the feelings can be more simply solved by changes in the environment then the mind. Some example of simple physical things that usually affect feeling good:
-Being sick or having a disease
-Exercising
-Eating healthy
-Abusive relationships
-Growthful relationships

As a whole the article well describes an internal space you can create to feel good, however it misses the significance of physical environmental influences. You could think of this like a plant trying to grow. There are some environments that are inhospitable to plants. There are other environments that can only sustain particular plants that have evolved to handle the unique environment. And, there are some environments where most plants thrive. Feeling good is no different. If you make the choice to create or live in the right environment then you will naturally thrive at feeling good.

[UnleashReality]

@pamelas

So true that the stories we make up are based on our beliefs. That's what i meant when i said we give meanings to things - the giving meaning is based on our beliefs.

...and as you say, we choose to take on those beliefs (mostly subconsciously out of fear or aspiration or insecurity

i disagree about examining our beliefs though. it can help and is fun as an exploratory process but i don't think we need to understand our problems. would you rather understand your problems or not have them?

i'm talking about just dropping the process and the beliefs and problems associated. and just being free

thanks for your comment.

appreciate it!
alex - unelash reality

[UnleashReality]

@simcha,

thanks for your comment simcha. really appreciate it! it's great to read a well thought out, honest thought so thank you.

Hey Cyndi,

I'm completely with you about responsibility. i'm huge on responsibility - it's SO key in being free and in getting things done in all spheres of life. i think not taking responsibility is just a protection mechanism on our parts.

It's great that you've realised that you can step out of your emotional responses and become present. such an important realisation - one most people sadly only learn through incredibly tough circumstances or extreme experiences like severe loss.

i like the way you phrased your options when you are prone to getting attached. sounds like you've checked out the Sedona Method? really power stuff.

and what a journey it is

i'll see you on the road.

thanks for the comment and check back soon!
all the best
alex - unleash reality

[UnleashReality]

@Orecle

Hey Orecle, thanks for your comment on my site.

thought i'd send you my reply in case you didn't check back. thanks for such an honest, engaging and real comment. really cool to see.

left this edit on the post in light of your response so thanks for your reply...

Edit: In light of a few comments and questions, i’d like to clear something up…
It’s not about trying to feel good all the time. It’s not about trying to feel anything. The idea is to stop giving meaning to situations so that you can experience the situation instead of the stories and feelings you create about it. Contrary to the title, it’s not even about making a choice to feel good. The choice is to stop layering things over true experience, and that feels good. A whole lot better than manufactured good feeling.

to me... it's not about making yourself feel good or bad. it's about stopping that in fact. stop creating feeling and just experience life. you creating feelings and meaning and emotions covers up true experience.

yuor example about a job is a good one. you might not feel good about it. but you don't have to feel bad about it. stop giving the situation meaning and just experience it as it is. real life feels great when you stop superimposing your story onto it. a job can be good or bad, and a job can be good to me and bad to you. it's not about what it is, it's about how you're experiencing it. would you rather experience your thoughts about it or experience life?

all the best
alex - unleash reality

[UnleashReality]

@nhaasch

Hey nhaasch,

interesting question

i was a little unclear in the article, i'm not really proposing to choose to feel good as much as choosing not to feel bad.

those things, (good examples by the way) can definitely affect the way you feel if you attach meaning to them. i'm sick, poor me. it's just a situation. as are the positives. my question really is, would you rather feel your story about those things with all it's polluted meaning, tainted by the beliefs you've randomly picked up across your life, ...or would you rather experience life. true experience. make the choice to not give meanings to things and you naturally feel good, you naturally experience life.

thanks for your comment.
all the best
alex - unleash reality

[Orecle]

Originally Posted by UnleashReality

@Orecle

Hey Orecle, thanks for your comment on my site.

thought i'd send you my reply in case you didn't check back. thanks for such an honest, engaging and real comment. really cool to see.

left this edit on the post in light of your response so thanks for your reply...

Edit: In light of a few comments and questions, i’d like to clear something up…
It’s not about trying to feel good all the time. It’s not about trying to feel anything. The idea is to stop giving meaning to situations so that you can experience the situation instead of the stories and feelings you create about it. Contrary to the title, it’s not even about making a choice to feel good. The choice is to stop layering things over true experience, and that feels good. A whole lot better than manufactured good feeling.

to me... it's not about making yourself feel good or bad. it's about stopping that in fact. stop creating feeling and just experience life. you creating feelings and meaning and emotions covers up true experience.

your example about a job is a good one. you might not feel good about it. but you don't have to feel bad about it. stop giving the situation meaning and just experience it as it is. real life feels great when you stop superimposing your story onto it. a job can be good or bad, and a job can be good to me and bad to you. it's not about what it is, it's about how you're experiencing it. would you rather experience your thoughts about it or experience life?


all the best
alex - unleash reality

Thanks for the reply Alex

I beleive wat you propose is an impossible task.

I can understand not putting your personal story on an experience, but to say dont put meaning on situations is impossible. This is only capable by machines. Not to distinguish meaning is like asking not to distinguish between colours, depth, breadth, etc. Its like asking someone to eat bland unseasoned food.

Putting meaning on every experience is the only way for you to judge and distinguish between what experiences concern you, serve you or that which should be ignored.

If you hear on the news, that 21 women have been raped in a one mile radius of your hse, and the scum aint been caught, would it mean the same as if the criminal was 6000 miles away in a different continent? Espeically if you have women in your household or as friends in your area?

What is the point to life if not to feel something. Do you not write in this blog becos it makes you feel good? How can you feel anything without giving it meaning

Its the feelings that give life its texture. Everything including boredom, induces a feeling. They just vary in intensity. Sadness, Joy, boredom, ecstacy these are all feelings we seek or flee from.

Why would you pay $£8 to see a movie and not a documentry about paint

Because the movie makes you feel something.

Why would you eat food with seasoning as opposed to bland food

because stimulation gives life its meaning.

I dont mean to shock you but if a stranger came and slapped your mum/girlfriend as oppose to if a stranger slapped another stranger, are you telling me you will feel indifferent to both experiences? Would they both be just slaps of an individual, irrespective of who they are to you. If your house burnt down with all your possesions, would you not put meaning of good or bad to it automatically


I want you to try 2 experiments.

Watch a foriegn film in a language you dont understand, and see if you can stay engaged in a film, even if you cant emotionally engage with the characters since you cant understand what they are saying. I bet you find yourself trying to read their body language because trying to make meaning as to give yourself feelings are automatic.

This is what holds your attention. This is why your girlfriend and family and close friends can hold your attention and hurt you and be forgiven much more than strangers. Because the feelings and the story you have with them. You cannot experience life apathetically.

experiment 2. read a book you have no interest in, a book yo cant make meaning from?

read a foriegn language book that has english letters. see how long you can maintain interest in something you cant give meaning to.

Giving meaning is one of the purposes of thinking.

Originally Posted by UnleashReality

to me... it's not about making yourself feel good or bad. it's about stopping that in fact. stop creating feeling and just experience life. you creating feelings and meaning and emotions covers up true experience.

. What is the motivation for an experience if not to feel good or bad. what is this true experience

Originally Posted by UnleashReality

it’s not even about making a choice to feel good. The choice is to stop layering things over true experience, and that feels good. A whole lot better than manufactured good feeling.

If a true experience is better than a manafactured one, what is 'the whole better' you speak of, if not a feeling.

Have you wondered why everybody in this world makes meaning?

By the way, what could possibly a non-emotional benefit/reward of suppressing meaning? pls give me a working example?

[dave marshall]

great read and I think you are right, happiness is a choice,

dave