Struggling with a negative person

[spongesuesquareskirt]

I have been getting really inspired to turn my life around using positive thinking. Some really great things have happened, and I have changed for the better.

The main thing I'm struggling with now is that my mom's partner is a really negative person. He tears down all our positive thoughts and ideas, and basically acts like a jerk.

I am really glad that she is realizing this and my positive attitude is encouraging her to voice her opinions and go after her goals. This is really triggering his negativity and she's coming to see that she doesn't want this in her life.

Although I do a good job getting along with him, I have to admit that I have a lot of negative thoughts and emotions about him. I read Steve's posts on dealing with negative people and family members, but I wanted to reach out for more suggestions and hope that I can move through this.

[Simcha]

I recently wrote an article that you may find of some benefit...

How to Clear the Negative Energy in Your Life - 3 Easy Steps | Evolution Ezine

I often tell myself that those that "press my buttons" are some of the greatest gifts - they show me that I still have buttons to be pressed - which gives me the opportunity to do some more work...

At least - that's what I tell myself - and it seems to help

[spongesuesquareskirt]

Thanks for the article! I will try those ideas.

[ChrisN]

If he is being a jerk, maybe you should sit down with him and have a chat. Just tell him what your feeling and provided he doesn't hide away or put up a wall against your words, he might just change - sometimes (not usually) people don't realise how bad their negativity is until someone else points it out.

[andersonx]

@ Simcha: great article.

It’s very interesting, because something I do everyday when I wake up and before I go to sleep is run loving and compassionate thoughts through my mind. It really bullet-proofs me against negative energy and puts me in the right frame of mind for the day. One thing I also do, whilst on the train, is close my eyes and imagine that everyone I can see around me is having a great time – laughing, joking, being polite to one another, and I imagine them all as my closest friends.

When I create a really strong energy, I notice it begins to effect the people in my environment – people find little things to joke with me about, or happen to look up and smile at me, or even strike up a conversation. These kind of events run completely contrary to the general atmosphere of negativity in the train. If I just allowed myself to be effected by the atmosphere, I would feel bad – but instead, I take responsibility for creating the kind of energy I want the atmosphere to have.

What if everyone on the train was taking responsibility for creating their own positive energy? I imagine the commute to work would be a great experience.

[Simcha]

Thanks for taking the time to read the post - really appreciate it.

And I love the process you run when riding the train - just imagine the effect you have had - not only on your experience - but on everyone who has been touched by your energy

And everyone who has been touched by the people you have touched...

etc...

what an inspiration and what fun

[spongesuesquareskirt]

Well, I got pretty negative today. The thing is, this guy is a full-on abuser. He's passive-aggressive and all that kind of stuff. He hides my mom's stuff and throws away my little sister's toys - yeah, that kind of person...
Every word that comes out of his mouth is patronizing, belittleing, condescending, or an out-right put down.

I have a lot of anger toward him. I've tried being nice to him, but that just makes him take advantage of it. He is just plain toxic.

I have been IMing for peace and harmony, but sometmes my negative emotions get the best of me and i give in. However, overall, my negativity seems to have decreased, so I definitely have hope

It also seems that my IMing is helping my mom realize how bad he is and take action to get away from him. I just need to keep going with this intention, that we can move toward a peaceful and positive life for ourselves.

Just having people who support replacing negative feelings with positive ones and believing in the possibility of improving life and creating momentum for productive action really helps. Thanks

[ar81]

I use to write a humor news bulletin in my spare time.
I send it to my friends.
You may find satire of many aspects of current world events.
I use such crazy humor ideas as my own therapy.

For example:
"Free trade is the cause of lack of democracy" expert says
The article mentioned that since a country has no democracy, nations impose sanctions to force a recovery of democracy, proving that free trade may help a regime not to have democracy.

Study says that highly efficient people are lazy
Those who are inefficient, spend more time at work to do the same work, demonstrating that they love the job more than efficient people who were called as "lazy" by the experts. Efficiency also reduces utilization, which leads to loss of jobs.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by spongesuesquareskirt

Well, I got pretty negative today. The thing is, this guy is a full-on abuser. He's passive-aggressive and all that kind of stuff. He hides my mom's stuff and throws away my little sister's toys - yeah, that kind of person...

However, overall, my negativity seems to have decreased, so I definitely have hope

Just having people who support replacing negative feelings with positive ones and believing in the possibility of improving life and creating momentum for productive action really helps. Thanks

I read your post and there are places inside of me that are celebrating.. yeah

In the moment that we become aware of our negativity towards another we are present - and the negativity shifts

Even if we don't catch ourselves in the moment - when we look back and say to ourselves "In this moment I was acting or living in a negative space" - in that moment of awareness we awaken.

And each and every moment of awakeness is another spark of light and love that blesses us all...

Really cool - I am so happy I have found this forum

[spongesuesquareskirt]

Thanks!

Today has definitely been better. Last night I got kind of stressed out, but then I made a conscious decision to choose a more positive state of mind, so I watched some funny vids on Youtube, then went to sleep feeling much better.

Today I've been in a more positive mood and feel like new possibilities are becoming apparent.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Simcha

I recently wrote an article that you may find of some benefit...

How to Clear the Negative Energy in Your Life - 3 Easy Steps | Evolution Ezine

I often tell myself that those that "press my buttons" are some of the greatest gifts - they show me that I still have buttons to be pressed - which gives me the opportunity to do some more work...

At least - that's what I tell myself - and it seems to help

nice article

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by spongesuesquareskirt

Well, I got pretty negative today. The thing is, this guy is a full-on abuser. He's passive-aggressive and all that kind of stuff. He hides my mom's stuff and throws away my little sister's toys - yeah, that kind of person...
Every word that comes out of his mouth is patronizing, belittleing, condescending, or an out-right put down.

I have a lot of anger toward him. I've tried being nice to him, but that just makes him take advantage of it. He is just plain toxic.

I have been IMing for peace and harmony, but sometmes my negative emotions get the best of me and i give in. However, overall, my negativity seems to have decreased, so I definitely have hope

It also seems that my IMing is helping my mom realize how bad he is and take action to get away from him. I just need to keep going with this intention, that we can move toward a peaceful and positive life for ourselves.

Just having people who support replacing negative feelings with positive ones and believing in the possibility of improving life and creating momentum for productive action really helps. Thanks

the guy sounds like my ex


I hope you find the peace you need to deal with this bully

[spongesuesquareskirt]

wow, just reading over my own negative thoughts about him is an eye opener! It sounds almost foreign when I'm in a better state of mind.

Yes, he is a generally negative person, but it's becoming more clear how I create my own reality.

[lifetimelearner]

[spongesuesquareskirt]

sorry if that sounded weird, i was kind of thinking that stuff to myself (wasn't directed at your post).
i really do appreciate your relate.

[WordKeeper]

spongesuesquareskirt - I see that you are on a remarkable path. I admire you and am writing to encourage you. I grew up with an emotionally abusive father but I had no idea. I believed everything he said. Finally, in his 70s he was diagnosed with several mental illnesses and conditions including Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Though he was a functioning, prominent, successful business executive before the host of disorders pushed him into "early retirement" he was a mean, belittling, sabotaging, demanding perfectionist at home.

It has taken me many, many years to figure it all out and to understand that my anger and hurt and resentment actually only hurts me. When I am aware of feeling inadequate, afraid, unworthy, a failure or any of the myriad emotions I learned at his hand I am reminded to hold him in my mind's eye and forgive him and hold him in a state of love. NOT easy - not at all easy. But I do it as though my life depends on it - because it does.

You are way ahead of the game - keep moving forward full steam ahead!

[spongesuesquareskirt]

wow, thanks so much for sharing that! I am glad that there was finally a way for you to understand what was really going on.
Hugs to you - really appreciate the support.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by spongesuesquareskirt

sorry if that sounded weird, i was kind of thinking that stuff to myself (wasn't directed at your post).
i really do appreciate your relate.

no no that was the cool smile I used !

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by WordKeeper

spongesuesquareskirt - I see that you are on a remarkable path. I admire you and am writing to encourage you. I grew up with an emotionally abusive father but I had no idea. I believed everything he said. Finally, in his 70s he was diagnosed with several mental illnesses and conditions including Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Though he was a functioning, prominent, successful business executive before the host of disorders pushed him into "early retirement" he was a mean, belittling, sabotaging, demanding perfectionist at home.

It has taken me many, many years to figure it all out and to understand that my anger and hurt and resentment actually only hurts me. When I am aware of feeling inadequate, afraid, unworthy, a failure or any of the myriad emotions I learned at his hand I am reminded to hold him in my mind's eye and forgive him and hold him in a state of love. NOT easy - not at all easy. But I do it as though my life depends on it - because it does.

You are way ahead of the game - keep moving forward full steam ahead!

all I can think of saying is WOW wordkeeper
thanks for sharing