False emotions

[edith]

I've been working on controlling my thoughts, but I have one area that doesn't work well.

When I try to change my emotions from negative to positive, I may feel more positive for a bit, but then I feel like they're false, like I'm putting on an act. The negative stuff is still there, seemingly mocking my attempts to change to better thoughts. I feel all phony and discombobulated.

How do I *really* change?

[Angela]

You could release all your old stored-up negative emotions using TIME Techniques.

Then going forward, your negative AND positive emotions can occur for you authentically, appropriately, and cleanly -- you'll recognize your actual emotion, because it won't be loaded down with the burden of all the old, pent-up gunk.

[SimonaRich]

When you start being positive and then you realise that you are just faking it, it is not the case. It is just you trained yourself to be more negative then positive, so if you start being positive it is so unnatural to you that you assume it is fake. It is not fake, it is just not usual to you. Keep doing it and it will become 'real'.

The same as if you clasp your hands with one thumb up. Try to clasp your hands with the opposite thumb up to the one you always put on top. It may seem really strange, very unnatural to you. But if you keep clasping your hands the new way for a while, it will become second-nature after some time.

[nhaasch]

You have conflicting ideas about what emotions are suppose to be. On one hand you believe you can control them and on the other hand you believe that they are an expression of something already inside of you.

You need to develop a deeper understanding of your emotions. Yes, you can affect your emotions. And, yes your emotions express something going on inside of you. What if both of these things are true? What are the consequences?

I think of my emotions like I think of a relationship to a person. I can influence people to think and feel a certain way. Still, the change is not going to more permament unless i've created a rich understanding for them on how it helps them to feel and think certain ways. I might be able to find cheap tricks to make a friend happy for a moment or two, but that doesn't change the underlying structure. They'll go back to feeling as they felt previous. Similiarly I can't just tell my friend to feel a certain way.

As with a relationship, I've began to develop trust with my emotions. What this means to me is that sometimes I'm going to feel a certain way. Sometimes it is negative. I have to accept that I really do feel that. That builds trust when you accept what your emotions are saying. Still, once there is trust established you can begin to negotiate with the emotions to figure out why they are feeling that way and what might make them feel better. Sometimes simply accepting them is enough. Sometimes it means I must change a thought, belief, or aspect of my life.

Now, some people will likely disgree with me. There is compelling evidence that you can through some force change emotional patterns. And, i'm inclined to believe this approach works too. However you are trying and you are getting resisted. If you want to continue you approach you may attempt to work with those moching parts. Your intent is to be postive. You as well as those parts know that you want to be positive because it will help you. Those parts moching you may be merely challenging you to see how strong your intent is. You may discover a way to show those parts the stregth of your intent. If you do, they'll likely be quiet.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by edith

When I try to change my emotions from negative to positive, I may feel more positive for a bit, but then I feel like they're false, like I'm putting on an act. The negative stuff is still there, seemingly mocking my attempts to change to better thoughts. I feel all phony and discombobulated.

How do I *really* change?

Stop faking. You've noticed that your positive emotions are often false, but have you looked at your negative ones? They are equally false. Your confusion and frustration is also an act. I know that you try to goad your emotions on, falling into them, thinking that this will lead you to some revelation. From my own experience, I can guarantee that it won't. You can't goad on enough pain or happiness to experience any revelation. You don't have to encourage or discourage any of your emotions. Free yourself from needing positive, and you will also free yourself from needing negative.

[tintin]

edith, do you trust your emotions?

start trusting them.
sometimes we live too much in the head.analysis paralysis.

not trusting emotions or severely editing them each time they come is because somewhere we are unable to trust what we feel.

lets say youre in the process of transforming your thought patterns.
initally you feel good?right? but could there be a belief or the ego jumping in and saying ha! happy my ass! youre running away from reality and the reality is -you got nothing to be happy about!! now get back in the ditch!
or some such.
yknow what i mean? like self sabotage.

be prepared for that voice/feeling /thought. with an affirmation.a solid unshakeable one. or talk to it. 'why do you like to see me in the ditch?' is that where youre speaking from? thats one of the reasons i want out'

please remember that your higher self will always be loving will never beat you down and will encourage the best in you. so listen to him/her , not the ego.

[pianoperformer]

I found this post today that, while I don't know if it will work or not, it sounds promising and I want to start trying it. Maybe it will be helpful for you.

[edith]

Thanks everyone - all your responses had good and true stuff in them for me. I'm sure that trying to fake being positive doesn't work when there's a load of negative that hasn't been dealt with, and I also see that I probably give too much credence to, or focus too much on, the negative. If that all makes sense! (Deal with the negative by recognizing it for what it really is.) I feel like a ping pong ball sometimes.

I try to think of my emotions as information (there's the trust), but sometimes the negative becomes overwhelming and that's when I want out, quick (put on a happy face!).

[MiBeloved]

Before trying to reject certain negative emotions and ideas, it is best to confront these in your mind and then decide if these aspects can be rejected anyway. It does not matter what system of thought rejection you use, if an idea has power in your life, your rejection will add up to nothing annd the idea will repeatedly confront you and limit you, so that your effort at rejection will be ineffective.
First step is to consider if the idea has validily in your life and if it does, seek a method of solving it out and pursue the solutions.
It is not just a matter of will power because your will power only has power if it is empowered by providence. Without the assistance and cooperation of providence your will power and all positive schemes have absolutely no meanings.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by edith

I try to think of my emotions as information (there's the trust), but sometimes the negative becomes overwhelming and that's when I want out, quick (put on a happy face!).

So why not practice letting go of your habitual, two-step response (neg emo > happy face) and taking on a new strategy that might work better, like (neg emo > ask "what is the info this emo is trying to give me?" > go quiet and listen > get message > take next right action)? The beauty of getting the message that the emotion is there to deliver is that then you don't have to DO anything to get rid of the emotion -- when you get the message, the emotion's job is done, and it can just fall away, easily and without effort.

Plus then you have the message, and your choices can be really effective in getting you the results you most desire.

[edith]

Originally Posted by Angela

Plus then you have the message, and your choices can be really effective in getting you the results you most desire.

Love that, Angela, thanks. And MiBeloved. Seems you are saying similar things. Let the emotion give the information, then proceed.

I get confused when we start talking about beliefs, like the belief board discussion, or LOA discussions..."if you think about what you lack, you'll just manifest lack, etc." Trying to manifest something when you don't feel it or adopt new beliefs, that's when it seems false to try to adopt a thought such as "I have financial abundance!" when I feel broke. kwim?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by edith

Trying to manifest something when you don't feel it or adopt new beliefs, that's when it seems false to try to adopt a thought such as "I have financial abundance!" when I feel broke. kwim?

Yes, I kwym. It's too far a leap to go from "I'm broke" to "I have financial abundance." But how about moving from "I feel broke" to "I feel hopeful" and see if that feels a little better? If it doesn't, try something else on. Maybe "I feel basically okay right now. They're not going to take away my children." (I use that one a lot, and it always makes me laugh. Especially since I don't have any children. ) When you get to a slightly better-feeling thought, then reach for an even better one, like maybe: "I have the sense that more and more abundance is becoming present in my life" .... and if that feels like too much of a leap, you can ratchet down a bit: "As I look around at some of my beautiful things, I am grateful for them." etc.

Use your emotions as feedback -- if a thought feels good, think it! And if it doesn't feel so good, look for a thought that does. You don't have to go from 0 to 60 -- you can move more and more into good-feeling thoughts in increments that are perfect for you, and are most beneficial for you. You can take as much or as little time as you want -- it's the movement that makes the difference, no matter how much velocity you start with.