Why am I not totally content yet?

[CroMagna]

I have done a lot of inner work and outer work over the past few years. It seems my life is basically intact. I have found myself, found supportive friends, found a religion, learned to battle against adversity etc. But these days when I come from work I go straight to sleep, sometimes I go to the bathroom and sleep during office hours, I drink 2-3 glasses of wine per day, I drink several cups of tea everyday, and I have constant thoughts of people lecturing me and second guessing me like I'm still a 4 year old which leads to strong panic attacks where I feel like I'm either going to faint or go insane.

Why is the feeling of complete contentment not there? Is there something simple I can do like mindfulness meditation or something to channel the feeling of instant joy?

[Angela]

Can you recall a time when you were content?

[CroMagna]

A time when I was completely content was when I worked as an exotic dancer. Another time was in college when I was camping out for basketball.

[James81]

Because you don't want to be.

That's the simple answer. The trouble comes in when you realize how deep that answer goes (it's not just a surface answer).

When you want to be content, you'll be content. The trouble is, convincing yourself you want to be content. That can be tricky.

[moriez]

Im just thinking with you here so if this answer is too off-topic for you then please ignore it. Question is: Do you have to be totally content? 90% for example is a darn good score I would say. Wouldnt focussing on all the things that already fullfill you help?

Edit: Ok, important note. Especially the lecturing thing that you speak about I imagine is quite heavy. In that case focussing on the positives maybe wont help. I realise that.

[nhaasch]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

A time when I was completely content was when I worked as an exotic dancer. Another time was in college when I was camping out for basketball.

This is great!

Hold onto that feeling of contentment for a second. Now, can you imagine a way in which you could feel that contentment in your current life?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by nhaasch

This is great!

Hold onto that feeling of contentment for a second. Now, can you imagine a way in which you could feel that contentment in your current life?

Maybe if I had a better social life?

[nhaasch]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Maybe if I had a better social life?

That may be the case.

Keep paying attention to those feelings of contentment and you'll discover exactly what it is.

If you are looking for a more specific technique to get your answer, you could try to visualize all of this. First, bring those images up from the past of when you had those feelings. Then, hold on to the feelings and think about your current life. What is it that your see?

You could also try hold those feelings while going through a day of your life. So, again find those feelings of contentment and then steps through what a day with those feelings would be life. All the way from waking up until going to bed.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Why is the feeling of complete contentment not there? Is there something simple I can do like mindfulness meditation or something to channel the feeling of instant joy?

Joy isn't something you have to discover or create, and nothing you do will bring it to you. It's too simple for instructions, because the truth is available to everyone regardless of their ability to carry out such a plan. Joy is all around and inside you. You just have to allow yourself to remember the truth that is already yours, and it will be true. It's not an action per se, but rather what's left over once you remove all the attempts to find or manufacture joy.

Of course, none of this means anything to you because all you know how to pay attention to is the force that you're exerting on your surroundings to get what you want. The only advice I can give you is to pay attention to the space in between the force. Something has to be happening between thoughts, something that you've never noticed before. Pay attention to what happens between thoughts, and without the intent or goading of those thoughts to force it's existence. So much has to happen outside your anxious thoughts, you just need to see it.

[caseyg]

When I saw James81's post, my first instinct was to push back, but then I thought about it and realized that he's right. It's possible to not know it, that's definitely where I was, emotionally.. if you would have asked me at any point in the past 7 years if I wanted to be happy/content, I would have said, "of course!!" - but I wasn't, because, for at least a part of those years, I stayed unhappy because it was easier. Easier to ♥♥♥♥♥ and moan, to remain stagnant - being happy takes work, at least for me. But once I started forcing myself to exercise, clean, get out of the house and do things, talk to people I like, etc., I became happier - like a fog had lifted. I'm happy, because I have challenges, and balance, and work to be happy. I let myself be happy - give myself permission to try and fail, but not permission not to try.

[shasah]

Being content is not always what a person needs. It can make it seem like your life isn't moving anywhere and you're stagnating. Been there, done that. How about trying to notice the little things in life that can be beautiful and create happiness? Staring at the stars and trying to locate the constellations, for instance. A butterfly flying by or a duck making that ridiculous laughing sound. There are so many small things in life that can be observed and can make you happy in that moment in time. The more you can find, the happier you can be. Just my point of view

[marinik]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Is there something simple I can do like mindfulness meditation or something to channel the feeling of instant joy?

I do mantras. There are numerous mantras that uplift you in a way but on the other hand give you a sense of peace and contentment. The easiest one is the OM mantra. Try it. Even if you do it only 10 times it calms you down and gets you into a much more positive state.

This is just one link..YouTube - OM MEDITATION

I personally love this one, but you have to scroll down the page to find it.

Meditation, Japa, Healing

[yoopersmith]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I have done a lot of inner work and outer work over the past few years. It seems my life is basically intact. I have found myself, found supportive friends, found a religion, learned to battle against adversity etc. But these days when I come from work I go straight to sleep, sometimes I go to the bathroom and sleep during office hours, I drink 2-3 glasses of wine per day, I drink several cups of tea everyday, and I have constant thoughts of people lecturing me and second guessing me like I'm still a 4 year old which leads to strong panic attacks where I feel like I'm either going to faint or go insane.

Why is the feeling of complete contentment not there? Is there something simple I can do like mindfulness meditation or something to channel the feeling of instant joy?

I am in a similar situation that you are...I get home from work and I am bored. I don't want to watch TV, or drink or do the internet, but I haven't figured out what I want to do yet...I am thinking about playing the guitar or maybe joining a meet up group at Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com...

I read this yesterday and it helped me smile at bed time:

Adyashanti.org

Whenever I feel anything other than content, it means that I have failed to accept now as is...even when I'm bored.

When I remember my true nature, I remember that my dualistic idea of me is discontent...not my REAL nature.

You don't have to do anything to be content...you just need to remember that there is NOTHING that you HAVE to DO on earth...you can JUST BE and that's OK!

The tough part is to remember the truth when you are busy in beta brain wave activities...just take breaks to remember the truth...that's how to rembemer that there are no requirements whatsoever on earth...no demands, nothing do to...just be...let the contentment come back into mind.

Hope this helps!

[Mynder]

I think you have a problem with your work, and I still think you try to "drown out" some of the feelings you have (2-3 glasses of wine per DAY is a lot from where I stand).

You say you're being lectured and that makes you feel like a small kid. What kind of behavior are you projecting to your colleagues to treat you in that way? Are you the "meek" and "submissive" type? Is this all still rooted in self-esteem? Do you feel insecure or behave in a way that you maybe consider diplomatic or "covering all bases" while it may appear to the people around you that you're not really sure you know what you're doing? It is about perception, not how skilled you truly are! You can be the greatest genius in the world, but if you come across as insecure and unsure of your own work area, then you will be doubted, second-guessed and will have a very hard time.

If yes, or if you are not certain, try the "I love myself just the way I am" mantra ten times whenever a bad thought about yourself crosses your mind. This will slowly build your confidence in yourself, and that will show to the outside world.

Until then, you might try acting more confident. I did this very successfully in my teens (and believe me, I was anything but confident back then, and the bigger guys loved to pick on me). The thing is, most people aren't that sensitive and will simply pick up on what you show yourself to be (this is also why shy people are hardly ever "discovered to be deep" - others will simply accept that they seem not to want to talk). That means that if you start acting more confident, they will start treating you differently. That will then start up some real self-assurance and confidence and get you into a positive spiral as opposed to the kind of thinking you currently employ. It worked for me, so it may be worth a try for you.

As an aside question: do you love the work you do? Does it challenge you? If not, could it challenge you if you were more confident and received more responsible, complex tasks within this field? If yes, see above. If no, maybe it's time to find out what you'd prefer doing and go do it, however big that step may appear.

That's it off the top of my head. Hope it helps. :-)

[Stressless]

"I have constant thoughts of people lecturing me and second guessing me like I'm still a 4year old which leads to strong panic attacks where I feel like I'm either going to faint or go insane."

Based on your comment above it would appear that you are not content because you are more into pleasing others rather than pleasing yourself.The key to me seems to – Have confidence in who YOU are.

You see - you will never be able to please others. They will never be happy. So you have to decide to do your thing knowing that you are not perfect.