Live in the now and fear of challenges

[bluedragon]

Since I read "the Power of Now" I'm starting to steadily reap the benefits. For example, whenever I have a difficult challenge coming and the outcome I feel is not entirely dependent on my preparation - I don't worry about it. I just refuse to worry. I have completely ceased to imagine possible outcomes (especially the ones in which I would fail). When we doubt ourselves - we usually constantly alternate between imagining ourselves doing well and imagining ourselves doing poorly. It seems completely illogical to me now - why would I imagine myself failing at something when there is still a chance that I will not fail? And even if failure was certain, why think about something that gives you pain as long as right now, you do not need to do anything in that respect (at least, nothing you are not already doing) ?

I just think about the future in terms of "what I need to do to get what I want" but without simulations of the outcome and especially emotional simulations.

However, I don't think I am ready to do this for any challenge. I feel that some challenges would be just as scary to face without worrying as they would be scary to face while worrying. In other words, I'm sure being in the now can eliminate all anxiety from one's life. However, I'm not sure it can eliminate all hesitation (at least, not just as easily).

How many of you have accomplished being fully present all the time and never worrying about the future? I am curious - have you discovered that this simple shift has eliminated all fear from your life? Where you able to take on any challenge no matter how unprepared you were for it?

[David Cain]

However, I don't think I am ready to do this for any challenge. I feel that some challenges would be just as scary to face without worrying as they would be scary to face while worrying. In other words, I'm sure being in the now can eliminate all anxiety from one's life. However, I'm not sure it can eliminate all hesitation (at least, not just as easily).

How many of you have accomplished being fully present all the time and never worrying about the future? I am curious - have you discovered that this simple shift has eliminated all fear from your life? Where you able to take on any challenge no matter how unprepared you were for it?

Hey bluedragon!

First of all, congratulations on what you've accomplished so far. You understand concepts that will be forever over some people's heads.

Never worrying about the future is pretty impossible, I wouldn't worry (!) about that.

Just cultivate the habit of always bringing your attention back to the present, whenever you realize you are exploring projections about the future.

Remember, there is no future, it's just a thought you're having now. To bring your attention back to the present, bring it into your body. Just sense what your tissues feel like, and what your clothes feel like on your skin. You there? Good.

Ok. Then ask yourself "So, given my goal, what's my next action right now?" There's always one intuitive step to take right now, towards any goal. It often doesn't take a lot of thinking.

The problem is that we tend to think of our goals as being a huge collection of thousands of actions we'll eventually have to take. But in reality, you will never take more than one action at a time. If you expect some of them to be scary, you'll deal with it in time, and it will only be a tiny action, and it may not be scary at all by the time you get to it.

If you ever do get to an action that does scare you in the moment, (like telling your boss you quit or something) you just have to start moving your body, even while the fear is still there. Just walk into his office and start talking before the fear makes you stop. You may never have to do anything like that for most goals, but sometimes you will have to just 'leap' like that, and it is so rewarding.

I just finished plugging David Allen's Getting Things Done in another thread, and I'm going to again. It's just too powerful not to mention. He teaches you to break down projects into single next actions so that you never have to worry about what you aren't doing, only the only little action you are doing right now.

You'll be fine, just think less and do more.

[lifetimelearner]

you know what is so funny David
is when you said -

"The problem is that we tend to think of our goals as being a huge collection of thousands of actions we'll eventually have to take. "

the first emotion that 'popped' out of me was anxiety

I think it was the word -thousands

I will take a look at the book you recommended

[lifetimelearner]

bluedragon I am still working on things
but I will get back to you about it

[bluedragon]

In certain situations, I might not be able to decide that yes, I do want to take on that challenge. If I did decide, then of course, being in the now, I could not fail. I never were in a situation where fear literally impaired my movements. But I first need to decide to go there and do that. If I know that, once the adventure is set in motion, I will go all the way, not thinking about the outcome, then it's possible that I will never decide to set it in motion. My hesitation would be situated in just one moment - the moment of choice. How do I stop it from stopping me then ?

[MartinP]

Hi BlueDragon,

I agree that focussing purely on the present moment is the ideal, since much of the hesitation we experience is related to "what ifs".

But what if we reversed the question and asked:
Maybe your hesitation is trying to tell you something? Maybe there is a good genuine reason why you shouldn't be doing it?

What is stopping you from taking the next step?
Is it a real fear, that is perfectly reasonable? If you told me, your desired action was to go on holiday in a war zone, I might think your hesitation is justified and not something to beat yourself up about!

On the other hand, if your fear is based on a "what if" about something that isn't likely to happen or is not actually that significant, then you need to think about why it is causing you hesitation.

And remember, the brave person doesn't eliminate fear, they just act in spite of fear.

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by MartinP

Hi BlueDragon,

I agree that focussing purely on the present moment is the ideal, since much of the hesitation we experience is related to "what ifs".

But what if we reversed the question and asked:
Maybe your hesitation is trying to tell you something? Maybe there is a good genuine reason why you shouldn't be doing it?

What is stopping you from taking the next step?
Is it a real fear, that is perfectly reasonable?

On the other hand, if your fear is based on a "what if" about something that isn't likely to happen or is not actually that significant, then you need to think about why it is causing you hesitation.

And remember, the brave person doesn't eliminate fear, they just act in spite of fear.

yeah, yeah, of course, that's all true! and it's so easy to just Generalize this across the entire spectrum of human achievements, right

Then, the 'moment-of-truth' arrives, lol -> is she gonna
skate... this move NOW yet, or what

fear of face-planting, yet again! - are our shock-absorbers tensile enuf??, maybe Focusing on the next... move after this one, is the Ticket to success...

[Apollo]

Originally Posted by David Cain

"So, given my goal, what's my next action right now?"

David, that right there is very powerful stuff, I love it...i'm gonna write that down and carry it with me everyday!

[David Cain]

Hi Apollo,

It's really amazing how powerful it really is. That's all you ever have to do: the next thing. Usually it's just some small, five-minute thing. And once you do it, suddenly you'll have a lot more enthusiasm to do the next thing, and the next...

It's really revolutionized my life and the amount I get done. I think you will appreciate this article.

[Apollo]

Originally Posted by David Cain

Hi Apollo,

It's really amazing how powerful it really is. That's all you ever have to do: the next thing. Usually it's just some small, five-minute thing. And once you do it, suddenly you'll have a lot more enthusiasm to do the next thing, and the next...

It's really revolutionized my life and the amount I get done. I think you will appreciate this article.

Couldn't agree more, I have began shifting my mindset to this way of thinking recently and I have never felt better, for the first time in my life I can honestly look back at each day and say I did SOMETHING towards my goals, sure I am still not 100% focused and I must continue but i'm moving in the right direction and that alone is something i've been trying to do for years.

I did read your article and you were right I found it very interesting, so so true aswell, your site is now in my favorites!

[Eric Roosevelt]

Regardless of how important it is to stay in the present moment, I think the future is still an important concept. If we couldn't plan for the future the human race wouldn't achive very much at all. I'm always alternating between staying present and visualising/planning what's ahead of me.

[Apollo]

Originally Posted by Eric Roosevelt

Regardless of how important it is to stay in the present moment, I think the future is still an important concept. If we couldn't plan for the future the human race wouldn't achive very much at all. I'm always alternating between staying present and visualising/planning what's ahead of me.

This is true Eric, however you are lucky to be able to remain present and also focus on the future...it's a skill that many people lack and I was one of them which is now beginning to change.

Many people constantly focus on the future without ever taking action in the present, thats the problem.

[bluedragon]

The future is important, but the idea is to create the future you want (not the one you fear) by visualization. If you want to calculate the odds of success and the risks, stay rational - use only your mind - don't get caught up in the emotions which a negative outcome would imply. For example, if you want to know what you will do in the even you fail an exam, you don't need to actually feel like failing while you are imagining the future. Just think about it, coldly and rationally, like an android that selects "the course of action that has the highest rate of success". But if you want to visualize an outcome and get involved emotionally, then at least visualize the outcome you do want, not the one you want to avoid.