How do you "Love" people? Do they even needed to be loved?

[lemuria]

So, umm... it's been weeks after I did an amazing thing to myself... I decided to try and assume that my consciousness persist even after I die. I never have dreamed it before.

Long story short: I still view (at least, part of me) other human beings as competitors, as my enemies (sorry, can't think a better word for it). I viewed this website as a mean for a dude to get money, reputation, and most importantly, power. Well, that was the past, I now think Steve is actually... well, true to his word... for now.
This is really hard. Whenever I see those pesky religious people (oh, I hate religions, they're my number one enemies, even now), my "loving" intention dies and suddenly I'm filled with hatred.
The same goes when I'm with my parents, I still hate them. Arggh, why can't they just die in an accident or a fire or something like that.
Similarly, I still don't see the point of connecting to those who are ... weaker than me. I prefer hang out by myself than to let their "weakness" affect me.

This is excruciating, very very hard. So, uhh... how do you... well... stop hating people?
These weeks have been a hell for me. It's very hard for me to even accept that consciousness persist... I hold that thought for a while, then found something that reinforce my old views back.
Similarly, my reality seem to be going downward, again. What seem to matter in the past... seem pointless right now.
Should I be more loving...? Wait... if I accept that consciousness persist, than to be more loving is no more a matter of choice, it's a must! Oh wow! Now it's even more troublesome. Damn...

What if I do become loving, will other people become more loving too, or will there still be Machiavellian?...

[Angela]

Life would be so great if it weren't for all those other people, wouldn't it?

If you hate people, you hate people; if you want to be loving, it's no use to resist your hatred -- that will only keep you hating. Just go ahead and accept your emotion, and look to see what message it's trying to get through your thick skull. When you fully *get* the message, you won't need the emotion anymore.

In the meantime, you might want to take a look at how effective you are being at getting the results you want. First step is asking: "What ARE the results I really want?" You might want to look a little more deeply than your surface desires, like, "I wish they would just die already," or "I don't want their weakness to affect me." You can go deeper by asking yourself, "If that were present, then what would I have?" And keep going until you get to a value -- a heart's desire. You'll recognize it because you'll feel really GOOD when you think it. You may be surprised at what is waiting there for you, underneath all the bad feelings.

And all of this is so, regardless of whether your consciousness will survive this human existence or not. You've got now; what are you going to do with it?

[oldbiker]

Actually its not that easy to change your feeling, especially if they are deep and rooted.
In fact no one loves people. I gues we love people becuase we love ourselves and want others to love us.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by lemuria

...
Whenever I see those pesky religious people (oh, I hate religions, they're my number one enemies, even now), my "loving" intention dies and suddenly I'm filled with hatred.
The same goes when I'm with my parents, I still hate them. Arggh, why can't they just die in an accident or a fire or something like that.
Similarly, I still don't see the point of connecting to those who are ... weaker than me. I prefer hang out by myself than to let their "weakness" affect me.
...

You could ask yourself what the value is you get out of hating religious people and your parents? Then decide if that value is bigger than the cost. Hating people burns quite some energy, I find, and you can't use that energy for goals you'd like to reach. In the case of your parents: even if they died, the hate would still be there. Don't get trapped in the illusion that if people die, you won't hate anymore.

And what the value is seeing others as weaker than yourself? Are you feeling better then? Are you afraid that you are weak yourself? (The last one used to be my reason to avoid 'weaker' people.)

[Plays With Life]

I would try to sit with it, alone, and see whether I couldn't really get into why I'm feeling that way. I've felt Hate and it's uncomfortable - I don't know whether you need or want to love other people or not, but removing the feeling of Hate is probably just a good idea. It's not a fun thing to be feeling.

[SimonaRich]

You are really full of hatred. You should understand that every single person is different and that is fine because that does not affect you. You create your own reality and no one can affect it unless you allow that to happen by being unconscious of your own power.

I think you are between being unconscious but in the process of waking up to what the life actually is. You are searching for answers and when you do that soon they will reveal themselves.

[Dot]

It's impossible for there to be anything outside of you in your experience that's not inside. The hate is not "out there." It's in you.

It's not necessary, or even productive, to be concerned with "other people." You can begin the cleaning and healing process with you, in your own house.

[James81]

Your first step is to seek out professional help. I think that goes without saying.

At first glance, it sounds like you are a narcissist (you should google it and read up on it).

But, more importantly, it's important that you figure out who you are. You can't begin to change your negative emotions if you can't first indentify them. Get out a sheet of paper and start analyzing yourself and your beliefs. Keep asking "why" about your beliefs until you get to a point where you can't answer the question. At that point, you realize that you have discovered a core belief about yourself, so write it down.

When you have have your list of core beliefs about yourself, look them over and try and figure out where they come from. What issues from your past drives those beliefs? When you single out the issues that are driving your core beliefs, then you need to face them, feel the emotions that are swamping you, and move through them (one by one). When you start to feel "empty" is a good sign that you have moved past it. At that point, then, it's important to REPLACE your old belief with a new one.

Here's an example (taken from this article of my blog: Inner Turmoil Part 3: Paradigms :The Soul’s Asylum) of what I just said above:

Why am I a smoker? Well, I smoke cigarettes because they calm me down, give me a chance to escape situations that make me uncomfortable, and they alter my mind, giving me a temporary high.

Why do I feel I need to smoke in order to calme me down or give me a high? Because I do not possess the tools to do that without cigarettes.

Why do I not possess the tools to do that without cigarettes? Becaue I never took the time to learn those tools.

Why did I not take the time to learn those tools? Because I was too distracted trying to make something of myself, it was too hard, and I never had someone teach me ways to deal with those things.

Why was I too distracted? Because I feel a need to make something of my life. I need to succeed. I need to be more than what I am to be happy.

Why do I feel a need to succeed or be more than what I am to be happy? Because I am not happy with myself as I am.

Why am I not happy with myself as I am?

Good question.

Boom! Root cause. I smoke cigarettes because ultimately I am not happy with myself.



In that example, then, I have unearthed a core belief about myself:

I am not happy with myself.

Now that I have that, I try to figure out the circumstances that led to that core belief.

For example, reasons why I am not happy with myself:

1. I had overbearing parents who tried to control my life, and thus I became a perfectionist under their strict rule.

2. I have allowed my life to choose me (instead of vice versa), and as such I am living a lie.

Etc. Etc.

The key is to first seek out what your core beliefs are, then when you know what they are to figure out what is fueling them, face it, disarm it, and then release it.

Essentially you need to empty yourself out....reduce yourself to your most basic desires, and then revitalize yourself through newer, more enpowering beliefs.

[lemuria]

Yeah... I admit it, I really hate it when people control my life! Or maybe when life control me!!
"I hate the idea of someone or something else is in control of my life." My favorite quote from the Matrix.

So... I need to control my life? Easier said than done!! How the hell am I supposed to do that? For one, I'm always being controlled, forced to go back to home, forced to beg from mommy for money, forced to do some assignment that is not worth doing. Maybe I'm weak! Who knows!
Then, not to mention the low self discipline! I can't even sleep on the same time each day! Usually wake up between 7 to 11 am.
There's absolutely no way for this guy to go and change everything! Just no! I don't see it!
Did I mentioned that I'm totally addicted to Internet! Do it several times each day, and each time take at least 2 hours!
If I were to told my friends and my family, they'll told me to focus on my degree which is utterly useless! Damn unsopportive relations.,..
My health is not so great... well, I'm a vegetarian just don't exercise much

I love to read books though.

Any more feedbacks is really appreciated.

[rose A]

I tried to be impeccable with my word to the kid, gut it wasn't working for me.

I don't think he really wants help or is putting any of the relpies into motion. I think he is just looking to keep his thread going.

[Angela]

Lemuria: like Neo, when it's time for you to reclaim the infinite power that is Who You Are, all it will take is a shift in perspective, as Morpheus was inviting him to do. In the film, the red pill and the blue pill are metaphors for perspectives -- which lens are you going to look through?

Right now you are viewing the world through a lens of "Reality equals: I am at the effect of external circumstance."

Of course there are unlimited perspectives you could try on. One that might make a difference for you in being infinite power is: "I am at cause in my life."

100% responsibility is where it's at, if you'd like to get the results you want!

[lemuria]

Originally Posted by rose A

I tried to be impeccable with my word to the kid, gut it wasn't working for me.

I don't think he really wants help or is putting any of the relpies into motion. I think he is just looking to keep his thread going.

Yep. I'm very very very very very lonely right now.
Go figure.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by lemuria

Yep. I'm very very very very very lonely right now.
Go figure.

What is it that you want? What is important for you?

[Eric Roosevelt]

Originally Posted by lemuria

Similarly, I still don't see the point of connecting to those who are ... weaker than me. I prefer hang out by myself than to let their "weakness" affect me..

There's actually nothing wrong with that. You can hang out with whoever you want. But that has nothing to do with hatred. If you have hatred, that means you've got an internal conflict you need to solve. Solve your internal conflict, and you'll solve your conflict with the world.

[bluedragon]

Originally Posted by lemuria

This is excruciating, very very hard. So, uhh... how do you... well... stop hating people?

There are many ways to get rid of a negative emotion:
Meditation
Qigong
Acupuncture
Chi Nei Tsang massage
Psychotherapy
Personal Development - becoming so good and happy you are not affected by other people's actions
Running till you fall down
Isolating yourself from the cause of hate while trying to create for yourself a life that doesn't include that
Becoming an android
Witnessing with your own eyes what hate does - suffering, pain, disease etc

[SimonaRich]

Originally Posted by bluedragon

Running till you fall down
etc

How does that help to eliminate hatred?

The only way that you can get rid of hatred is by understanding that everyone comes from the same place, we are all one and that some people are very disconnected so sometimes they do not realise that they are harming others. We all live the best way we can, but sometimes it is not the right way but we do not realise that.

So by really (I mean really, not on an intellectual level) understanding this truth you will never hate anyone again.

And massages, running or talking about that to someone else are just external things that will not make any lasting changes.