Compulsive Thought / Affirmation Questions

[TheFlyingMan]

Hi Guys,

Couple of quick Qs, hope someone can help me out.

1) Has anyone here ever stopped compulsive thought? Since reading the power of NOW and a New Earth a few months ago, I've steadily managed to catch my negative thoughts and images as they pop in. Most of them don't affect me anymore (without a sense of "self" invested in it), but sometimes they do, especially when I'm in a non-related stressful situation.

2) Any tools for stopping myself getting invested in the negative thought again? Or stopping compulsive thought altogether? Byron Katie's The Work has worked wonders for some thoughts but not others - I suspect its because I haven't gone deep enough, so I will spend all of tonight going as deep as I can.

(here's an example of what my situation is - I have a lot of mental images of past hurts coming in - and I used to be hurt again and again by it - after weeks of observing myself - when I'm relaxed, these thoughts pop in, but just drift out without affecting my mood. Sometimes, when I'm outside, say chatting with my friends so I can't concentrate on observing these thoughts, they do affect me a bit. In a stressful situation such as dealing with a difficult client, these thoughts pop in, and make my moods even worse.)

3) An affirmation question: I've been trying to affirm to get rid of compulsive thought. So far I've been using "I'm a master of my mind and my thoughts". But I think it's not specific enough. is "I am free of compulsive thought" a negative or positive affirmation? I don't want to accidentally focus on bringing more compulsive thought into my life.

Thanks, sorry for the long post!

[AndyMartin]

There's a subtle trap in trying to stop compulsive thought; which is that it can easily lead to too much thinking.

You have to realize that you cannot stop it by catching it one thought at a time any more than you can stop rain with a bucket. Your bucket will fill up with water, but you'll never catch all the rain. It sounds like you're watching yourself holding a full bucket and wondering why you're still getting wet.

Affirmation, "The Work," the Sedona Method -- all of these are thought structures. So you're replacing one thought structure with another. That can have useful benefits. They're good at helping to release pent-up emotions; but they won't eliminate compulsive thinking.

If you want to make ground against an overactive mind, you have to teach it to sit quietly. And you do that by practice. That means meditate; empty mind, full awareness. When thought arises, observe it as something separate from you. If you do that, it will dissipate. If it does not disspate, you have not done that. Start with 10-15 minutes a day, every day. Work up from there. An hour a day is a common recommendation. After a while, you'll notice your quiet mind will show itself during normal activity.

But I don't know anyone personally who dwells perpetually without unconscious thought. That may be enlightenment; I'll tell you if I find out.

[TheFlyingMan]

Thanks Andy,

I've been playing with that as well - Like Eckhart Tolle says, the gaps in "no-mind" are expanding gradually.

One more quick Q, do you recommend stopping "good" thoughts as well that pop in? Happy memories to pop in from time to time and I normally let it run as it feels good, but will it mean that I still identify with my ego - as it is not "real" bliss?

[AndyMartin]

Originally Posted by TheFlyingMan

Thanks Andy,

I've been playing with that as well - Like Eckhart Tolle says, the gaps in "no-mind" are expanding gradually.

One more quick Q, do you recommend stopping "good" thoughts as well that pop in? Happy memories to pop in from time to time and I normally let it run as it feels good, but will it mean that I still identify with my ego - as it is not "real" bliss?

That's a really good question! I think initially it appears that we are losing something by this approach to thought and emotion, that somehow we become disconnected from the things that happen life. I don't think Tolle addresses this very well because he simply says to use thought where it's necessary and side steps the issue of the intrinsic value of pleasure in life; denying that, as I will show, is itself a form of attachment. Let me take a step back in order to get to my thoughts on the question.

No thought is good or bad, except the mind makes it so. That pleasant memory is good only because you have named it good, and the painful memory likewise. Furthermore, not only are individual thoughts neither good nor bad, thought itself is neither good nor bad. Though has no self-existence; that is, it only exists relative to other things. Namely the identity and its history. Since thought has no self nature by which to exist, we imbue it with existence by making it part of our identity.

So, it is attachment to thought forms that is the problem, not thought itself. The key is not to stop the flow of thoughts by judging them good or bad, but simply to realize that those are not you. In order to do this consistently, we must understand the ways in which we identify with things. There are three basic forms of attachment: attraction, aversion and indifference. (Indifference is the trickiest because it's not obvious how it is a form of attachment and people often mistake detachment for indifference.)

So the first step, and what Tolle teaches, is to notice thought arising and let it pass; don't get caught up in the thought. That works well with thoughts that we can easily dis-identify with. What I think he leaves out is how to let thoughts pass that we instinctively identify with. Memory, for instance.

I suggest a second step of noticing how the thought arises in relation to you. Notice your response to it: Am I attracted to it? Am I averse to it? Am I indifferent? Don't follow that with analysis because that will create more thought. Just be aware of what is arising and the manner in which your self is responding to it. If you have a particularly strong reaction to it -- especially if you have an impulsive emotional reaction (ie drama) -- try to observe the whole process unfolding in slow motion. Over time, this will help you disentangle the thought forms from your awareness and identity.

You notice I didn't directly address the "good memory" scenario. That's because it's your method of identification (attraction, aversion, indifference) that makes it good, bad or indifferent. The object is not to change your response, but to keep your response from causing you to identify with it. Still take pleasure for what it is; also take pain for what it is. Don't disassociate with anything, but don't identify with it either. Enjoy your memory, but be aware that it's nothing more than a movie -- a story about something that happened -- it is not the truth of you.

This all comes with practice. Don't get caught up in how well or poorly you're doing it and don't worry about how it unfolds. You can't force a flower to bloom or a butterfly to come out of its cocoon without killing it. Most of all, remember that the goal of this is to reduce suffering, not create it. If it's not making you happy then something is wrong.

Andy

[TheFlyingMan]

Thanks Andy, that is freaking brilliant.