Love your wounds

[Andrew Gubb]

The way to solve the problem of suffering, to find the meaning of life, to reach that which we are searching for without even knowing what it is (we only know that we haven't found it yet) – is to love.

Love is our attention. When we place pure attention on things without judging them or trying to get something out of them, we love them. And if we do so, we find that our attention activates the natural intelligence inherent in all things and lets them flow to the goal they are seeking, just like the light of the sun energises the world. All things are flowing. They don't know where they are going, but they are flowing, and all things that are flowing eventually find the sea so long as they are allowed to keep moving naturally. You don't know it, but all your life you have been flowing towards the infinite sea.

When you love a wound it will heal.

When you love a problem you bring your intelligence to bear and the solution will come to you.

When you love your body you give it health and vitality; to love another body is to do the same.

To love the world in its suffering is to bring the resources of the world of which you are a part into alignment to heal it.

The greatest part of the suffering in the world is caused by a misunderstanding of this. People assume that problems can be resolved by withdrawing attention from them, but pain exists only because love is needed. Suffering is a test of your love; if you don't turn away, but remain erect and full in your love, you heal the pain. If you respond to pain with unlove, the pain increases, and you will be tested more brutally in future. Love your wounds.

[WordKeeper]

Wow! Thanks - just what I needed.

[David Cain]

When you love a wound it will heal.

When you love a problem you bring your intelligence to bear and the solution will come to you.

When you love your body you give it health and vitality; to love another body is to do the same.

To love the world in its suffering is to bring the resources of the world of which you are a part into alignment to heal it.

Andrew, that is one of the most insightful things I have heard in a long time. You are a wise young man.

I just took a look at your site, and I think it's fantastic. Do you have an RSS feed, I'd like to subscribe.

I have a dream. I dream that one day we'll wake up with excitement to live in a world with no boundaries. Where sharing is default and theft practically impossible. Where people greet strangers like friends.

I have this dream too.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by David Cain

Andrew, that is one of the most insightful things I have heard in a long time. You are a wise young man.

I just took a look at your site, and I think it's fantastic. Do you have an RSS feed, I'd like to subscribe.

Wow - I'm glad you liked it! I had this article on my hard drive and I wasn't sure whether it was worth doing anything with or just deleting - finally I built up the self-esteem to try posting it on the Stevepavlina.com forums where people would just forget it if it was useless I know, I'm a bit hard on myself aren't I?

I definitely do have an RSS feed, you just have to scroll right to the bottom of the page to find the icon, next to the bit that says "drupal". Next thing to work on: getting a really big obvious button.

I have this dream too.

I'll check out your site!

Love and light

Andrew

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by WordKeeper

Wow! Thanks - just what I needed.

I'm really glad to have been of service WordKeeper It feels great to hear that, really

[Diandra25]

You should post more about what you write

And dont feel insecure about them - afterall we all have enourmous treasures hidden - it is only natural and healthy to share them!

keep it coming then

[coLLege kid07]

Hey I really enjoyed your post. I'm actually going through something like this right now. I'm trying to figure out what's bothering me on a deep level and even though I don't know what the answer is I love the problem because I know in the end it will make me a better person. =)

[tintin]

AMMaazing Andrew!
empathy and compassion = miraculous transformations

[mydau]

"When you love a wound it will heal.

When you love a problem you bring your intelligence to bear and the solution will come to you.

When you love your body you give it health and vitality; to love another body is to do the same. "

this is brilliant

i am at a very difficullt phase of life trying to cope with quiet a bit of bitterness and pain... i am working towards trying to come out of it completely and u r thoughts are very inspiring ...

thanks a lot once again

[Andrew Gubb]

*bows* I'm honoured... thankyou.

[garentee]

Exceedingly true, inspiring,and gratifying to read your comments to know that some situations I have been in recently were best served by loving them the way I did... Thanks for that.

[Old Soul]

agree 100 percent!!

touche~

[dulaney0330]

For those who cannot love themselves, what do you suggest them do to get to that point? How does one overcome a path of self-hate to self-love?

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

For those who cannot love themselves, what do you suggest them do to get to that point? How does one overcome a path of self-hate to self-love?

If you can't love yourself, I suggest loving yourself I'm still working hard on this... my guides in my reading with Erin told me that it was the most important thing, that all of my problems were about self-hate. Saying "I love you" in the mirror, and meditating on a feeling of self-love, are good practises. Just decide with a lot of determination to love yourself no matter what, and your subconscious will begin to work on it, the universe will begin to bring you help. The universe loves to help you, but it waits until you demonstrate conviction.

Rose of Cairo inspired me hugely with this post. Whenever I think of working on self-love, now, I think of her. From having no friends to loving everybody | Magical Chest

Good luck, we're on this path together

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

If you can't love yourself, I suggest loving yourself I'm still working hard on this... my guides in my reading with Erin told me that it was the most important thing, that all of my problems were about self-hate. Saying "I love you" in the mirror, and meditating on a feeling of self-love, are good practises. Just decide with a lot of determination to love yourself no matter what, and your subconscious will begin to work on it, the universe will begin to bring you help. The universe loves to help you, but it waits until you demonstrate conviction.

Rose of Cairo inspired me hugely with this post. Whenever I think of working on self-love, now, I think of her. From having no friends to loving everybody | Magical Chest

Good luck, we're on this path together

Thanks for your post.

One of the best books that has influenced me in self-love and acceptance is "Soul without Shame" by Byron Brown. He theorizes that all self-judgments including both positive and negative are unhelpful.

"People with low self-esteem practice affirmations daily to try to reprogram their beliefs. The attempt is to internalize a judge that will give you approval and recognition instead of disapproval and rejection."

I do not believe telling yourself "I love myself," is going to help most people. For me it didn't and I understand we are all different. However, we need to release the need to judge, work on our inner child, engage in activities that heal and help our body and mind, and become self-aware of the self-limiting and self-defeating tendencies that we may often engage in.

Self-love and acceptance is definitely a process that must come from different therapies.

[coLLege kid07]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

For those who cannot love themselves, what do you suggest them do to get to that point? How does one overcome a path of self-hate to self-love?

Love that you don't love yourself. It's that simple. Love whatever it is that you don't.

Perhaps individuals need to change their thoughts before they reach this step.

[WordKeeper]

Right before I lose my cool or get upset, I think of this thread and love myself and return to peace. That is amazing. Thanks again Andrew.

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by coLLege kid07

Love that you don't love yourself. It's that simple. Love whatever it is that you don't.

Perhaps individuals need to change their thoughts before they reach this step.

In what ways can you love yourself?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by dulaney0330

In what ways can you love yourself?

One way: Choose to love yourself.

All of these:

...need to release the need to judge, work on our inner child, engage in activities that heal and help our body and mind, and become self-aware of the self-limiting and self-defeating tendencies that we may often engage in.

...are just things people do to give themselves permission to CHOOSE LOVE, but for one reason or another they feel they must jump through hoops of real fire first.

It's like forgiveness. You may have years of therapy, you may pray like mad or meditate with a live guru or participate in seminars; you may try and try and try to forgive. And then there is a moment when you simply choose to forgive. All of that therapy, the guru, the seminars.... they're not what had you forgiving -- you didn't need all that in order to be able to forgive. Maybe you thought you needed it, but really it was just your way of loosening up your choosing muscles -- your way of feeling like you'd earned being forgiving. And you could skip all the preamble and go straight to forgiving, if you choose it.

Same with love -- just choose it.

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by Angela

One way: Choose to love yourself.

All of these:



...are just things people do to give themselves permission to CHOOSE LOVE, but for one reason or another they feel they must jump through hoops of real fire first.

It's like forgiveness. You may have years of therapy, you may pray like mad or meditate with a live guru or participate in seminars; you may try and try and try to forgive. And then there is a moment when you simply choose to forgive. All of that therapy, the guru, the seminars.... they're not what had you forgiving -- you didn't need all that in order to be able to forgive. Maybe you thought you needed it, but really it was just your way of loosening up your choosing muscles -- your way of feeling like you'd earned being forgiving. And you could skip all the preamble and go straight to forgiving, if you choose it.

Same with love -- just choose it.

It is important to choose to love among other positive things. But its also important to choose outlets that show yourself as well as your inner child that you do, in fact, love and care for your body and mind. Saying positive affirmations don't mean anything without action. Same with love. Actions such as eating healthy, assertiveness, exercise, forgiveness, dialogue with inner child are all ways to validate care and concern for oneself. Love develops over time with much trust and communication as well as genuine care and concern.

You show love by:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

[WordKeeper]

Dulaney - one way to begin to love yourself is by reaching out and loving someone or something else - not in a romantic way, not even necessarily someone you know.

Take someone who irritates you or scares you and work your thoughts about them around to kindness, forgiveness and love.

There is a prayer attributed to St. Francis that I love because the basic concept is that when I am in need of something like love or grace or anything the most direct way I can receive it is by giving it.

I have practised this for 7 or 8 years and it has made a significance in my life. Give it a try.

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by WordKeeper

Dulaney - one way to begin to love yourself is by reaching out and loving someone or something else - not in a romantic way, not even necessarily someone you know.

Take someone who irritates you or scares you and work your thoughts about them around to kindness, forgiveness and love.

There is a prayer attributed to St. Francis that I love because the basic concept is that when I am in need of something like love or grace or anything the most direct way I can receive it is by giving it.

I have practised this for 7 or 8 years and it has made a significance in my life. Give it a try.

Yup, great suggestion. I have done this with my father and it is very freeing. Thanks. Nice to know others are doing the same!