Inadequate

[straysweeper]

Two instances in as many weeks have caused this feeling. First, was overhearing two girls in public say something, which I felt was directed at me. Second, seeing another incredibly beautiful woman and feeling like I had no chance. I feel that my appearance isn't that which would attract a woman I'd want. This will not do.

[David Cain]

Hi straysweeper,

I've felt like that a lot too, but I don't feel that way any more, and I'll tell you why.

I learned that emotions are not caused by events. They are caused by your thoughts about events. Your emotions are just your body's reaction to your thoughts, and they cause more thoughts and more emotions, with a terrible snowball effect that can leave you feeling just awful. Those girls didn't cause your unpleasant emotions. It was your doubtful and self-defeating thinking that caused them.

Just seeing a beautiful woman did not upset you. It was your doubtful and disdainful thoughts about YOU that upset you.

When you are self-conscious and embarrassed for who you are, you will attract all kinds of events and reactions that will reinforce your negative feelings about yourself.

How attractive people are has a lot more to do with how those people carry themselves than with what they look like.

Look at Tony Soporno. He's overweight and balding, yet people are attracted to him because he loves himself and other people, and it shows. Self-love is the most attractive quality a person can have.

I know you can't just sit down and decide to start loving yourself, it doesn't work like that. You need to love yourself with your actions. I think this article could open things up for you.

You are not inadequate, but your way of treating yourself might be. Once you begin to act out of love for yourself, you will carry yourself with more pride and resilience, and that is just irresistible to people.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by straysweeper

Two instances in as many weeks have caused this feeling. First, was overhearing two girls in public say something, which I felt was directed at me. Second, seeing another incredibly beautiful woman and feeling like I had no chance. I feel that my appearance isn't that which would attract a woman I'd want. This will not do.

I don't know where this feeling of inadequacy comes from for some of us
I felt that way all my life

it has to be environmental

I never felt good enough
and I always thought I never looked good enough too

these feeling prevented me from living the life I f&%#@g wanted and I am very angry about it
don't let this happen to you !
I have to work on these anger issues now
all that are directed towards myself

I am begging you to just find that person who you are and it will be enough !
and
if others don't like that you
well you know where they can go !

don't let this stop you
it will ruin your chance for happiness