Why all the hate against hate?

[Chillax]

To be frank and to get to the point, in my life, the strongest emotion I've ever felt is hate. That hate leads to anger which is passion, I think of it as "emotional fuel", with that passion, I have reasons, strong reasons, to get things done and to keep pushing forward.

Only downside of such emotions is they CAN be negative. It's like fire, if you don't control it, it will do you harm but if you can harness it's power it can do you good.

When people have a strong feeling attached to a goal, they usually are more likely to achieve the goal, the one exception is anger, because that CAN backfire. So I can see why you would classify anger as a negative emotion but I say, use what ever you have.

All the bad experiences of my life are lessons and I'm not going to just forget them or let them go. They haunt me everyday and they give me reason to better myself.

To put it another way, when you find inner peace and happiness, you lose your edge, you become soft and careless. However when YOU put YOURSELF through hell, that's when you grow. So I guess what I mean to say is you CAN use all that "negative energy". It's not fun but it works.

In my most difficult times, when I have zero motivation, all I need to do is remember all the "bad experiences" from the past and just thinking about these things gets me angry and I get back to work. Since these negative emotions interfere with your happiness, I sappose they should be used sparingly, again like fire, if you let them go they will destroy you, that's why I don't think about them unless I have to, but if I were to forget about them or give them some positive meaning, it would be no where near as powerful.

[Manomanman]

Hate is like a fire, burning itself out. It attracts anger and hate to it, which places the wielder in danger.

Love is self-sustaining. When looking at the grand scheme of Time, love seems to have much more power - it's more of a slow and steady power.

Also, actions that appear to be motivated by Hate (such as the protection of a loved one by using violence against an attackers) can sometimes be thought of as re-directed love. Thus, love can easily take the place of hate when short-term power is required.

P.S. I don't hate hate, it's simply not a state of mind that is part of my experiences in this world. I love love, as it were.

[newsbone]

The only way to hate hate is to be positive about it by learning to both love and control the passion that comes with it. Hate generally is to have a great aversion to, with a strong desire that evil should befall the person toward whom the feeling is directed or to dislike intensely or to detest; as, to hate one's enemies or to hate hypocrisy. This definition raises two very important classifications of the same feeling.
1- Hate of one’s enemies; disliking those who you don’t agree with, and
2- Hate of a specific character in a person but not the individual him/herself.
Which of the two types of hate do you hate? The first one involves passionately disliking the person not the character, but the second entails objection of a specific quality in an individual. As a practicing Christian, the first one would make me hate the sinner but not the sin and this negates the very purpose of Christianity, whilst our calling demands that we practice the second angle of hate; hate the sin not the sinner. This is because the Bible teaches us to love our enemies as it also admonishes that, whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer. 1 John 3:15
.

[kayos]

I don't believe in hate or hating . I don't have the time to vest in hating .
I dislike things and actions of people, but to hate is giving something or someone power over me.I would like to think that for whatever reason someone has such strong emotions, even if its against me.It only hurts them in the end. Just think of all the things you could be doing positive with the energy it takes to hate.

[RT Wolf]

Have you tried the other ways? Like really tried?

[MidasGirl]

There's nothing wrong with harboring strong negative energies, other than the fact the person they eventually destroy is you. That insidious poisonous acid of hate is IN you. Cancer anyone?

And you are wrong in assuming that inner peace and happiness causes you to lose your edge. You don't know that as you've probably never experienced it. Anyone that's experienced the pure joy of inner peace knows that it is the most alive place to be.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Hate is only as negative as you believe it to be. If it helps you achieve your goals, you can use it to your advantage, the same way a former kleptomaniac uses his courage for a more enlightened task. It can be a great asset for you to accomplish your goals. The important thing is learning to harness it for good.

[MidasGirl]

Yeah, I believe it to be negative. Needless to say, I don't engage in it.

[ijpeatey]

I also believe hate is negative, in the sense that it's a destructive impulse. Sometimes that can be necessary - to hate injustice, prejudice for example, can be a powerful force for change.

The problem is that the focus is often aimed at people, and that leads to violence. Hate aimed at people (rather than a concept, for example), will never help you achieve your goals in a peaceful way. In fact, I doubt it will help you achieve your goals in a sustainable way at all. Violence tends to be very short term in its effectiveness.

[bluedragon]

Hate means having a heart that is suffering - which may in time lead to heart disease. Negative emotions are illness that has not manifested yet. At least, in the wisdom of Chinese medicine.

A cold, rational darkworker could earn my admiration, but one that is fueled by anger and hate is like a person who is "fueled" by liver and heart disease. Not very effective in the long run. Not very self-centered either.

[Eric Roosevelt]

I sometimes think that hate and love are two sides of the same coin. If we truly love something, doesn't that mean that we automatically hate that which seeks to destroy the thing we love? Unfortunately, that "thing" that we love is too often our own ego. The ego needs to create enemies to hate, in order to sustain itself. Eckart Tolle explains this in some detail, if you're willing to get aquainted with his ideas.

That's the sort of philosophical perspective on it. More concretely, I think of hate as a type of stress, that can have a potentially negative effect on your physiologically. But as long as you control it (and not vice versa), I don't necessarily think it will harm you in any tangible sense.

I think the line between love and hate is also quite thin. From the state of arousal that we call hate, you can quite easily shift to the state of arousal we call love.

[aggie]

all i can say chillax is you must be exhausted living like that. passion for something in life has nothing to do with hate as a driving force...the passion itself drives you and can never lose that edge. i think the only exception would be "hating passionately." it sounds like the passion and drive you get from hate is to prove something to the world or perhaps people that have hurt you: learning from bad or negative experiences should be a positive experience....well worn but: "the best revenge is living well"...i hope you find some peace of mind in life...you have to work at it...but i don't believe hate can help you find it. sincerely, aggie

[Svante]

Originally Posted by bluedragon

Hate means having a heart that is suffering - which may in time lead to heart disease. Negative emotions are illness that has not manifested yet. At least, in the wisdom of Chinese medicine.

A cold, rational darkworker could earn my admiration, but one that is fueled by anger and hate is like a person who is "fueled" by liver and heart disease. Not very effective in the long run. Not very self-centered either.

yes it is not healthy to hate. i only hate my enemy. it is negative engram also and this is not good.

[JHL]

Originally Posted by Chillax

To put it another way, when you find inner peace and happiness, you lose your edge, you become soft and careless. However when YOU put YOURSELF through hell, that's when you grow. So I guess what I mean to say is you CAN use all that "negative energy". It's not fun but it works.

In my most difficult times, when I have zero motivation, all I need to do is remember all the "bad experiences" from the past and just thinking about these things gets me angry and I get back to work. Since these negative emotions interfere with your happiness, I sappose they should be used sparingly, again like fire, if you let them go they will destroy you, that's why I don't think about them unless I have to, but if I were to forget about them or give them some positive meaning, it would be no where near as powerful.

No emotion per se is negative; what you do with it, however, is another matter.

Just a note - healing anger actually makes you more powerful, not less. Would I be correct in saying that if people push the right buttons in you, that you can become extremely angry very quickly? If so thats not powerful, that makes you a slave and easily manipulated.

But having said that I really admire that you've been able to turn your negative experiences into achievement, thats good going.

[Nicholls]

Originally Posted by JHL

No emotion per se is negative; what you do with it, however, is another matter.

Just a note - healing anger actually makes you more powerful, not less. Would I be correct in saying that if people push the right buttons in you, that you can become extremely angry very quickly? If so thats not powerful, that makes you a slave and easily manipulated.

But having said that I really admire that you've been able to turn your negative experiences into achievement, thats good going.

I think we define negative or positive emotions by whether they make us feel good or bad. The outcome of those emotions is irrelevant. For example anger is a bad emotion, even if you use it to your advantage or you release it and it feels good.

[David Cain]

All the bad experiences of my life are lessons and I'm not going to just forget them or let them go. They haunt me everyday and they give me reason to better myself.

To put it another way, when you find inner peace and happiness, you lose your edge, you become soft and careless. However when YOU put YOURSELF through hell, that's when you grow. So I guess what I mean to say is you CAN use all that "negative energy". It's not fun but it works.

You do have a point, and I think that's the reason we evolved to hate. It is a powerful motivator. Hate is an effective survival mechanism, it protected us from complacency and the treachery of others for thousands of years.

Before civilization, where when there were no laws and little technology to help us, hate and other negative emotions would have been extremely useful. Dissatisfaction, paranoia and prejudice were good for keeping people alive. But I think they have become mostly obsolete now.

Love is far more powerful for achieving what you say you use fear for. I've tried both, and I am far more productive and effective using love as my motivator.

IMO love is just a more advanced tool for self-improvement. Hate has too many side effects: it distorts reality, infuriates others, and worst of all it detracts from your quality of life in the moment. This is not necessary; there is a better way. We are evolving past hate. Everything you can accomplish with it, you can accomplish without it, better, faster, and while having more fun.

I find this idea fascinating and it's essentially what my blog is about. My first article was all about this.

[aggie]

i beg to differ...dissatisfaction, paranoia and predjudice have over the centuries created more problems in the world than they ever solved...those feelings only create lack of trust, stereotypes and fear....and they can lead to a lot of negative emotions like hate...where have we evolved in that arena, really?

[Orecle]

[QUOTE=David Cain;350278]

You do have a point, and I think that's the reason we evolved to hate. It is a powerful motivator. Hate is an effective survival mechanism, it protected us from complacency and the treachery of others for thousands of years

.


Please provide your reasoning and proof that the emotion of hate was a survival mechanism and protected us from complacency. Who is the us? and who did 'the us' need protection from?

Before civilization, where when there were no laws and little technology to help us, hate and other negative emotions would have been extremely useful. Dissatisfaction, paranoia and prejudice were good for keeping people alive. But I think they have become mostly obsolete now.

Please tell me where you learnt that law came about after/or along side civilisation. law came about with the forming of communities. The first community being families.
Please tell me how technology has become a useful tool against hate. Has civilisation made the world less paranoid, has technology made the world less disatisfied or prejudice?

Most of the western world has become civilised going well over a century? Have we not had 2 world wars based on hate in the last 50 to a 100 yrs?
Has there been a decade without war?
Has technology and civilisation stopped the isrealites and palestinians from fighting?
Was it not even 50 years ago that blacks had to wrestle their rights in USA (one of the most civilised countries in the world) from many whites that hated them.
Is there not still racial hatred purpertrated by blacks, whites in every civilised country in the world. Is there still not alot of jjewish hatred in many european and islamic countries.

please tell me how technology and civilisation has stopped the feud in Northern Ireland.

Love is far more powerful for achieving what you say you use fear for. I've tried both, and I am far more productive and effective using love as my motivator.

IMO love is just a more advanced tool for self-improvement. Hate has too many side effects: it distorts reality, infuriates others, and worst of all it detracts from your quality of life in the moment. This is not necessary; there is a better way. We are evolving past hate. Everything you can accomplish with it, you can accomplish without it, better, faster, and while having more fun.

see, you contradicted yourself. On one hand you say hate distorts reality, but then you say earlier we needed it to defend against treachery. You even used the term extremely useful tool. so how can an extremely useful tool ditract from my quality of life? By your logic, it kept people from betraying us, therefore preserving my way of life, so how can it detract from it simulteanously?

[aggie]

this is getting complicated...i never realized there were so many ways to defend the virtue of hate....

[David Cain]

Has technology and civilisation stopped the isrealites and palestinians from fighting?

please tell me how technology and civilisation has stopped the feud in Northern Ireland.

Whoa, whoa, I never said it did. I was not arguing that humans have left hate behind, only that any usefulness it ever had is gone, for most of us. (Us = homo sapiens)

I will try to explain what I mean, I guess I didn't explain it well before, please hear me out:

Humans are animals too. Evolution has geared us to survive at all costs even if that cost is quality of life. Reactive, overemotional qualities like paranoia, mistrust, and hate provide very strong incentives to keep all potential physical threats at bay.

Logically, a caveman who dominates others, hates anyone who might threaten him, and is not afraid to get violent would have been far more likely to become the alpha male, which would allow him to procreate much more frequently and pass his genes along.

It's unfortunate, but a gentle and trusting caveman would never have become dominant and would rarely get a chance to procreate.

So guess who we're descended from?

This alpha/beta pattern is typical to all sorts of mammals. Humans are only now beginning to leave this model behind, but our bodies are still tuned for it.

See, hate has a use in the animal kingdom, but that does not mean that hate has ever been directly conducive to quality of life for human beings as in how enjoyable life is for us.

It has atrocious side effects now, because the focus of human beings has shifted from mere survival to quality of life. Hate and certain other impulses help the former and impede the latter.

Everything you're talking about (the events of the 20th century) is just a tiny percentage of the millions of years our bodies and emotions have been evolving. Civilization has changed the playing field completely for homo sapiens, but we're stuck with these animalistic traits that no longer serve us (reactivity, paranoia, hate, etc.) War is the ultimate manifestation of how ingrained these ancient behaviors are.

In other words, our bodies and minds still tell us we're in danger far more than we really are, because millions of years of evolutions have predisposed us towards being overprotective of ourselves and our egos.

It's the same reason we have a tendency to overeat. Because of technological advancement, food is not hard to find for those of us in developed countries, but our bodies are geared towards surviving feast or famine conditions. But eating too much is rarely helpful to us now, because we seldom experience the 'famine conditions' that overeating has always compensated for. We're out of balance, in other words.

By your logic, it kept people from betraying us, therefore preserving my way of life, so how can it detract from it simulteanously?

Here's how: Preserving one's life is not the same as preserving one's quality of life. Biological evolution is guided solely by how good a creature is at reproducing and keeping its children alive. The genes we have are the genes of those individuals who mated the most. And dominance has always been the biggest determiner of that.

This is unfortunate, because society is still gripped by these impulses. That's why we have wars and violence. I think we are evolving past hate, but evolution is slow.

I explained all of this in the article I linked. If you do not agree, I would like to hear why you think humans have such a tendency towards hate and violence? Where did it come from? Nothing happens without a reason.

[aggie]

i think you are confusing evolution by hating and defending ourselves with simply "survival of the fittest"....and some of this is just plain depends on physical strength, health, size, and some ability to reason out a situation...not "hating" someone. i also do not think you can attribute the qualities of hate, paranoia and reactivity to animals...the pretty much go on the above and the "instinct" to survive....

[Quenbyad]

I will try to explain what I mean, I guess I didn't explain it well before, please hear me out:

[songwriter]

Well, one thing is for sure. Some people don't like hate and react "hating hate" and the right thing should be "loving hate", offering love to the one that's hating.

Yeah, it's hard to do, but it's almost always the best thing one can do.

[David Cain]

Originally Posted by aggie

i think you are confusing evolution by hating and defending ourselves with simply "survival of the fittest"....and some of this is just plain depends on physical strength, health, size, and some ability to reason out a situation...not "hating" someone. i also do not think you can attribute the qualities of hate, paranoia and reactivity to animals...the pretty much go on the above and the "instinct" to survive....

Nope, I am not confused about evolution.

Emotion plays a huge role in our behavior, and our behavior determines survival more than anything other factor. Why do you think we even have emotions?

I am not trying to defend hate, only to explain it.

[aggie]

i did not mean to imply that you did not understand evolution...just maybe the whole emotion aspect of it. i agree emotions play a big part on how react to things....hence can affect our survival. hate is an emotion...i guess i am not sure if everyone was and is just born with every emotion. it think hate is something that is learned. early on i think perhaps one of the most motivating emotions was fear...of being hungry, being harmed physically, etc...and i still believe the reaction to that emotion was to survive (the whole survival of the fittest thing...which depends a lot on physical and mental abilities. )

[Orecle]

Originally Posted by David Cain

Humans are animals too. Evolution has geared us to survive at all costs even if that cost is quality of life. Reactive, overemotional qualities like paranoia, mistrust, and hate provide very strong incentives to keep all potential physical threats at bay.

Read your article and I like and respect your intent. How ever I have trouble with some of your assertions

How has evolution geared us to survive at all costs? How has paranoia, mistrust and hate been strong incentives?

How many civilisations would still be there if they had been a little more mistrustful and paranoid? American indians, many indeginious south American tribes, many African and Australian tribes, even many European tribes. The fact is, there is another emotion called greed. A man or a nation does not need to hate you to want to steal from you. You dont have to hate him or the nation to defend yourself and attack him in a way that makes him/nation think twice before robbing you again. many people have died or been stung (enron, anyone) from not being vigilant

Originally Posted by David Cain

Logically, a caveman who dominates others, hates anyone who might threaten him, and is not afraid to get violent would have been far more likely to become the alpha male, which would allow him to procreate much more frequently and pass his genes along.

It's unfortunate, but a gentle and trusting caveman would never have become dominant and would rarely get a chance to procreate.

You do not have to hate someone, who makes you feel threatened. There are tales of opposing generals having dinner before going to war. In fact most rivals actually have respect for one another and view their feuds as artistic competition, even wen lives are at stake

Originally Posted by David Cain

So guess who we're descended from?

This alpha/beta pattern is typical to all sorts of mammals. Humans are only now beginning to leave this model behind, but our bodies are still tuned for it.

See, hate has a use in the animal kingdom, but that does not mean that hate has ever been directly conducive to quality of life for human beings as in how enjoyable life is for us.

Where did you get the idea that animals hate? Violence is not always about hate. It could be control, survival, self defence or sport

Originally Posted by David Cain

Everything you're talking about (the events of the 20th century) is just a tiny percentage of the millions of years our bodies and emotions have been evolving. Civilization has changed the playing field completely for homo sapiens, but we're stuck with these animalistic traits that no longer serve us (reactivity, paranoia, hate, etc.) War is the ultimate manifestation of how ingrained these ancient behaviors are.

Where is your proof emotions have evolved? What were we missing before/ or wat do we feel now that our ancestors did not?

How has civilisation changed the playing field? This is the most confusing part.

How is reactivity, paranoia and hate animalistic?
Pls show one animal that clearly exhibits reactivity, paranoia and hate on a regular bases?

When animals attack each other, thay do it for food and physical defence of themselves and offspring, we humans do it for many more reasons than the 3 you suggest, so who is the animal of the 2

Originally Posted by David Cain

In other words, our bodies and minds still tell us we're in danger far more than we really are, because millions of years of evolutions have predisposed us towards being overprotective of ourselves and our egos.

I can agree with this, but I do not think it has anything to do with evolution. In every age, there always has been and there always will be dangers. There will be people who survive them and people who fall

Originally Posted by David Cain

It's the same reason we have a tendency to overeat. Because of technological advancement, food is not hard to find for those of us in developed countries, but our bodies are geared towards surviving feast or famine conditions. But eating too much is rarely helpful to us now, because we seldom experience the 'famine conditions' that overeating has always compensated for. We're out of balance, in other words.

Or people just like satiety, notice you dont get many people overeting veggies

Originally Posted by David Cain

Here's how: Preserving one's life is not the same as preserving one's quality of life. Biological evolution is guided solely by how good a creature is at reproducing and keeping its children alive. The genes we have are the genes of those individuals who mated the most. And dominance has always been the biggest determiner of that.

This is unfortunate, because society is still gripped by these impulses. That's why we have wars and violence. I think we are evolving past hate, but evolution is slow.

You seem to assume that all wars are started because of hate. Alot of wars were based on theft. I do not have to hate you to want to steal your watch, TV, laptop, your wife, husband, car, land, oil, gold, money. Violence is not solely caused by hate.

Originally Posted by David Cain

I explained all of this in the article I linked. If you do not agree, I would like to hear why you think humans have such a tendency towards hate and violence? Where did it come from? Nothing happens without a reason.

Pls feel free to shoot down anything you do not agree with. By the way, my claims are just my opinions

Human tendency towards violence.

You hear a term in personal development and that is 'Negative emotions'. So people are adviced to think postive and feel positive emotions and disgard negative emotions. I happen to see all emotions, as one of the, if not the most incredible tool a human can have, including hate.

I see emotions as an incredible gauge to how you are feeling, which in turn would help you decide a future course of action. Kind of like the same way the sensations of hot or cold on the skin can help you decide wat to experience next.


Emotions are messages

Wen I feel emotions, I take them as a message. So if i am doing an action and it makes me feel happy, I generally want more, and if I am doing an action that makes me sad, then I want to stop

Is this enough? NO

There are many individuals, who feel Haopy doing things that make others feel extremely sad.


ie there are individuals who feel (rightly or wrongly) that invading Irag is right, and they are happy about it, there are also people who are extremely sad about it.

when I feel an emotion, jealousy, envy, passion, excitement. To me they are all messages to take some form of action. depending on the message and my values i act accordingly
ie jealousy - Do i feel threatened, inadequate, paranoid, maybe I am justified. with all this info I now choose to do this.........

The emotion of hate, I see as a message of ultimate dislike. There is nothing in this world that comes to mind that I think enough about to make me feel this emotion. But if there was i would ask myself, why do i hate this? Is it a good reason? Is there anything I can do about it? then I would take action based on my value and my answers

You see not everybody does and can have the power to act on their hate. If a burglar attacked a love one, I do not have to hate him to smash him to a pulp

hate to me is a hardwired emotion like any other, there to send a message. I think what is more dangerous is to deny and repress feelings and pretend they dont exist, in the name of being positive. Like people who deny the emotion of jealousy and envy and then flip out in other ways.

[aggie]

well said!

[Gracestars]

Originally Posted by Andrew Brunelle

Hate is only as negative as you believe it to be. If it helps you achieve your goals, you can use it to your advantage, the same way a former kleptomaniac uses his courage for a more enlightened task. It can be a great asset for you to accomplish your goals. The important thing is learning to harness it for good.

Harness hate for good? That just doesn't make sense. How can hate, in any form or for any purpose, ever be seen as good?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Chillax

In my most difficult times, when I have zero motivation, all I need to do is remember all the "bad experiences" from the past and just thinking about these things gets me angry and I get back to work.

Yes, hatred can be very useful as an *away-from* motivator -- to {{blast}} you off from what you don't want. As you say, it's not fun, but it works.

It's not a great long-term motivator, though, because you get more of what you focus on, and if you focus on getting *away from* something, your attention to it will keep it in your experience. You'll tend to *bounce back* to whatever it is you're hating, just by hating it. Your hatred acts like a giant bungie cord, {{{broingggg}}}-ing you back to what you don't want.

The solution, of course, is to generate some *towards* motivation to keep you in motion long term and feeling good about while you do it.

Some people here have listed Love as a towards motivator, and that's a good one, but if it feels like too much of a leap to go from hatred to love, you can distinguish some intermediary steps that will have you going *towards.* And it doesn't have to be Love; that's just what most people think of when they think of the opposite of Hate. The trick is to figure out what *towards* motivation would inspire YOU, and then to distinguish what emotional "steps" you could take between where you are now and being fully inspired.

Like Chillax, the OP, has done -- hate > anger > passion. From feeling bad to feeling good in three steps. I would only suggest that there is yet another state that would inspire you even more than Passion, that when you are being it, it will allow you to be in motion without ever having to dip back down into your *away-from.* There are some NLP techniques that are handy for automating the process -- building in an automatic trigger for yourself so that whatever used to have you feeling hate can be reprogrammed to lead you directly and instantly into your inspiring state. And you can do it on your own, of course, without the NLP technique -- it just may take longer to practice. I love velocity!

There's not need to hate hatred or any other *away-from* -- it can be a powerful tool. I think of *away-froms* and *towards* like: sugar/protein, or rocket thrust/gravity. One blasts you off with stress and velocity, the other pulls you towards what you want, easily and effortlessly.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Gracestars

Harness hate for good? That just doesn't make sense. How can hate, in any form or for any purpose, ever be seen as good?

Do you not hate injustice? Don't you hate the idea of a person being the victim of a hate crime? Is there no food or music that you hate?

How about those people who are always asking questions -- don't you just hate them?