Follow my life (or the lack thereof) for awhile

[MrMonopoly]

a stupid mistake

[Minsc]

Not eating would cause a lack of energy...

You don't have to cook though... (you're better off not doing it except with meat, ect)
Could eat fruits, vegetables, nuts, ect. Might want to cook fish occasionally if you want to cook.

If not, there are plenty of other things that don't need to be cooked...


If you fail to meet a goal, you wern't ready to succeed when you tried it. You'll learn from it though and will be more ready during your next attempt. You have to fail in order to succeed...

You could read some of the articles Steve wrote if you haven't already...
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...of-life-intro/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...lf-to-succeed/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...-in-the-glass/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...vate-universe/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...consciousness/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...consciousness/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...-the-physical/
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...lf-discipline/

I doubt anyone would mind if you kept a log.

Supporting yourself by playing poker would be a lot better than getting a job, ect, since you like it and have lots of freedom about it(compared to a job).
You could add more income streams if it alone doesn't make enough money.

[MrMonopoly]

Thank you for your answer, but in the future I would love to see a lot of your own ideas and not Pavlina links. I've read every word in his blog but I don't buy a lot of it. There are good ideas but they "are not for me". I know this from two years of experience.

The problem is not cooking itself, but going to the store, buy things, talk to people etc. All this is needed, and it's hard.

And it is true that failing to meet your goals could be a good thing but not when you're feeling very low and you don't have anything else in your life to resort to if you fail in one area.

And as for poker, I think it is good, but not great. The market will, and is, decreasing in magnitude.

[Ibanez]

Would you also say indecisiveness is a defining characteristic of yourself?

I'm sure you have other hobbies aside from poker, right?

[MrMonopoly]

Originally Posted by Ibanez

I'm sure you have other hobbies aside from poker, right?

No.
.
.
.

[Angelwings]

Hey.. I think my life is alot worst than yours right now..this present moment.
I m 20yrs old too.
I m going through alot too. Being 20 is not easy coz we
are just between adulthood and just got out of teens.


Seriously i dont know wat to do with myself too!
I m in college studying something I HATE. but yet everyday i ve been trying so hard to stay motivated and go to college.
Seriously not happy right now.. Coz i realised my interest is MUSIC! i wanna study MUSIC!

Just to let u know: YOU'RE NOT ALONE! I M 2OYRS OLD TOO! WE ARE EXPERIENCING D SAME STUFF, DEPRESSION!

[Minsc]

Originally Posted by MrMonopoly

The problem is not cooking itself, but going to the store, buy things, talk to people etc. All this is needed, and it's hard.

Could buy long-lasting food in bulk then?
(if you're able to transport it)

No.
.
.
.

Do you have anything specific you'd like to do?
You could probably turn it into a hobby...

[ÜberDan]

Hi MrMonopoly,

For someone trying to portray a bleak existence you write a well structured post. Why not start your own blog, plenty of places to do it for free. What are you studying at Uni?

Rock bottom gives you the most room for growth it's being MrAverage and middle of the road that is scary!

Keep us posted. All the best,

Dan

[MrMonopoly]

I know you are deep into Pavlinian PD and I know you only want to be kind but comments like "Could buy long-lasting food in bulk then?" make me think that I have not sucessfully managed to describe where I am and what I, if anything, I want out of this world. The fault is mine. I will probably not write here anymore.

[Brutha]

I know you are deep into Pavlinian PD and I know you only want to be kind but comments like "Could buy long-lasting food in bulk then?" make me think that I have not sucessfully managed to describe where I am and what I, if anything, I want out of this world. The fault is mine. I will probably not write here anymore.

I guess you wanted to change where you are?

Whatever you want, being healthy helps a lot. To be healthy you need to eat enough. Buying enough stuff that there is always something to eat is necessary.

[ahimel]

Originally Posted by MrMonopoly

I know you are deep into Pavlinian PD and I know you only want to be kind but comments like "Could buy long-lasting food in bulk then?" make me think that I have not sucessfully managed to describe where I am and what I, if anything, I want out of this world. The fault is mine. I will probably not write here anymore.

So help us out. Due to the nature of the forum, you probably can't post without people trying to help. If we're not giving you the kind of help you want, tell us what you do want.

I totally agree that bulk, long-lasting food will not solve what I see to be your most significant problem, which is depression. But it does make it more likely that you will survive long enough to solve the depression issue. During my major depression episode, I lived on Totinos Frozen Pizza for months, because it was the only thing that I could work up the energy to make. I wasn't very healthy, but it did keep me alive, which is more than I can say for your eat-nothing diet.

Unfortunately, I can't give you advice on getting out of depression. What worked for me is a deep, internal decision. I can't convey that to you with any amount of typing or face-to-face chat. All I can do is offer support, and advice on the practical, day-to-day aspects of dealing with depression... like frozen pizza and baby steps.

I have found Buddhism helpful. The essential insight (as I see it) is that most people are miserable. And they're miserable because they want things they can't have. Not the basic things like a Nintendo Wii or a mansion, which they could have if they put their minds to it, but the big things. They want to live forever. They want to have no problems. Well, guess what, buddy... Everyone has problems. Wanting to have none will only make you miserable. You can't change the fact that you'll have problems. Your only chance at peace is to change the desire not to have them.

You can think about that while you stare blankly at a wall sometime, and see if it sounds good to you. If so, try reading a page in the book you have. Or post back and tell me your thoughts. Or post back and yell at me for totally misunderstanding you... I'm not picky. (If you're going to yell, it might be better to do it by PM, so other people don't have to deal with it. Up to you, though.)