Overcoming anxiety with new things

[mattsonn]

I tend to get mild anxiety when I'm in a new environment or have to learn a new task. I've only recently become fully aware of it, but thinking back, I realize that this is something that I've had all of my life. A natural predisposition against new things, and a predisposition towards the familiar. I probably got it from my mom.

But doing new stuff is an essential part of my life. And on a conscious level, I really enjoy it. But that doesn't stop me from feeling a background level of anxiety any time that my brain detects something new. It prevents me from genuinely feeling comfortable in such a situation--I have to act it.

Most people I know don't have this problem. To me, this is just one more issue that I need to address and resolve.

Can anyone relate?

[joshbickford]

You're uncomfortable stepping out of your comfort zone. Everyone is, that's why it's called your comfort zone.

Know that you are able to accomplish anything that you can think of, so if you want to defeat this, you can! Learn to step out of your comfort zone in small steps, and eventually you'll learn to run out of it!

[Colm OReilly]

mattsonn,

If there's one thing that's evident from people posting on these forums, whenever someone comments that most other peopel don't feel this way or that way, they're probably wrong - most people feel anxiety when starting a new task.

Anxiety is a natural response to growth/challenges. It's the way of the body preparing for a task. Strangely enough it's our interpretation of this which calls it a bad thing.

On another level, our ego tries to protect us. We don't like the idea of 'failure' and we don't want to look stupid, and doing things we're unskilled or incompetent at (even if it's just because it's our first attempt) damages the ego.

Are you giving yourself permission to fail?

Lots of love,
Colm

[rene_stpierre]

I agree that everyone feels some level of anxiety when faced with a new situation, challenge or task.

I believe the level of anxiety is related to self-confidence and someone's experience in facing these situations.

For me, forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone has helped me tremendously over the years. Every time I did, I was anxious but never backed-off. Every time, my confidence level went up.

Now, when I am faced with a new challenge or situation, my anxiety level is usually pretty low because I've had similar experiences before that showed me I can accomplish anything.

Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and don't be afraid to fail, after all, failure is one of the best ways to learn.

Good Luck!
René

[PMcDonald]

As Josh points out - when you do new things or things that pull you out of your comfort zone, then yes, absolutely you are uncomfortable. The important thing to remember here is that you are growing by stepping out of that comfort zone.

Often, people are reluctant to step out of their comfort zone and they are stagnant. Embrace it, take pride in knowing that by having sweaty palms and a nervous stomach that you are absolutely engaged in something that is helping you grow and moving you forward in life!

[Colm OReilly]

Not to be pimping my own articles here, but here's something I wrote up a while ago, it was inspired by training at ICA.

Problems, Challenges, & Opportunities

Basically if we look at something as a problem, it's a headache and we want to avoid it. A challenge, while tough, offers some reward. An opportunity we're excited about, and we can't wait to get into it.

Lots of love,
Colm

[Athena]

Good question- I think there is a way to frame it, as in

1- know that you are safe and secure, for instance choose a grounding element in your routine or environment, or simply a strong thought or knowing, that reminds you that you are safe and stable no matter what new things you encounter

and 2- know that growth and opening up to new things is a natural process and part of natural flow, so let your mind be open to new things, in a targeted and progressive manner.

That way, your mind has both an anchor, and a forward direction to be open to new things.

also 3- know that whatever reservations you had before may have served you well at that time, but now in this new phase of life, it will serve you better to be more open to new things.

That's good that you can identify that conscoiusly you enjoy the new things, so perhaps your subconscious needs reassurance that everything is okay, and you are secure even as you progress into new territory.

[mattsonn]

Thanks everyone.

Joshbickford: I agree. Stepping out of one's comfort zone is an important part of life. I make it a personal policy of mine to do one new thing a day involving people to keep things interesting.

Colm O'Reilly: I read your "permission to fail article" and I agree with the main point. I'm pretty good at positive self talk, thankfully.

Rene_stpierre: Thanks. Hopefully this is something that I'll be able to improve on too.

PMCdonald: You know, that's an interesting point. When I have that background level of anxiety going on, I do tend to want to focus on the task in front of me so that I can get it over with. However, at the same time, it's like my IQ drops a whole lot, which isn't good.

Athena: I think you NAILED it with "your subconscious needs reassurance that everything is okay." I'm glad you understood.

[Colm OReilly]

Colm O'Reilly: I read your "permission to fail article" and I agree with the main point. I'm pretty good at positive self talk, thankfully.

Glad you enjoyed it.

I was thinking: You were probably a bit anxious/nervous posting this thread. But it took courage to do so, and as a result you gained some more confidence. Nice work!

Colm

[SeriousKidding.com]

I know this may sound trite, but try not drinking coffee, or cut way down, if indeed, you imbibe in the first place. Good luck. Anxiety really is debilitating. I also try getting my heart rate up by taking a short brisk walk or bike ride. I've even walked up my stairs 10 times really fast. And, the deep breath and slow exhale thing really does work. Sometimes you just gotta say "f**k it" and believe it! I mean it. Hope I'm not way off the mark.

[sina]

really All the statements you said are right . but most seem optimistic and theorical , i think.
i have somehow the same problem in somewhat exaggerated manner . when i enter a completely new situation , like the day i entered university and as i remember the first day i entered school , the first day i get into a bank to pay a cheque , go to a shop lonely and like these , i have had an overwhelming anxiety that completely takes my management and improvisation power. and i never could overcome the situation in these times and so i have always chosen "not involving" in these situation as i can .in spite of what Colm OReilly said , i think that this "sympathetic" anxiety is never constructive and benfical in human functionality. because it takes over , it takes concentration and judgment power and as this is bad feeling , it "can" lead to avoidance from safe new experiences. i dont see any "evolutional" philosophy for it.
i have sought psychiatric help about this but doctors never speak hopefully about treating this by medication.
i really, really , understand you.
this is purely unconscious procedure , so dont try to act it by philosophy and reasoning. but if what rene_stpierre said , "forcing to involve and experience and not to skip and avoid in a long-term excercise" does work , and one can learn this confidence , then this is the lone way , and you should go through it. it seems promising and practical.