Battling a low self esteem

[Saidin]

I wonder if any of you have overcome coping with a low self esteem. I have a really low self esteem. Even when people make compliments, I think they're just being nice to me. I never seem to be able to accomplish anything well. I can do things, but I can't do them really well.

I'm not an unhappy person. I'm actually a very optimistic person, too, but I also often get depressed. I never seem to be good enough. Even when I tell myself I actually CAN do something well, something happens that shows me differently. Somebody comes along that shows me I've done it all wrong. And when that doesn't happen, I'll just tell myself.

I'm wondering if anybody conquered his or her low self esteem succesfully and how.

[Eli]

hey
I have had some of the same problem. It is like steve said, your belief system. believe that U R what U think U R not. Change the way you see yourself. Because of that same reason I have taken a career that keeps me mostly to myself. I went from a railroad worker to a trackter trailer driver so I will not have to deal with people on a large scale. I too love myself but sometimes feel I'm not good enough which is cetainly not true. love U. Peace. Eli

[Debra Moorhead]

Saidin,

I teach a seminar on Career Development for Women. I spend two hours on developing self-esteem and never feel like I get finished. I have, however, developed a hand-out that I give to my students that they can keep with them and refer to when they're feeling low. The easiest way for you to get it would be from my blog, I made it into a post on the suggestion of one of my students.

9 Ways to Increase Your Self Esteem

If you need clarification on any of the bullet points, don't hesitate to contact me.

[Colm OReilly]

Debra,
It's late and I am on my way to bed so I'll read your blog entry in the morning.

Saidan,
Just today I posted a piece on Defining Self Esteem on my blog.

Other people have commented that this post on feeling perfect and complete has helped them, it may be of interest to you.

Any questions you'd like to ask, fire away, I hope to post more in the morning.

Lots of love,
Colm

[The David]

You just gave me something to write about. I've been running out of inspiration, and self-esteem is a huge issue with me.

Or at least, it was. Yes, I have overcome many self-esteem issues. Not all of them, but many. And if you know anything about me, you know that I've had alot of major self-esteem issues.

[Alvin]

Saidin! You *! You always *! And that makes me feel *! Especially when you * and *, that really makes the people around you ***!



Now, did you fill in the blanks with goodies or baddies?

Saidin, if you can tell me 10 good things you like about yourself, I'll give you the secrets to high self-esteem. Promise.

[TheFlyingMan]

Woah Man Alvin, that is a great tool. I thought I had raised my self esteem but I filled in the blanks with negative stuff...damn....

Can you give me a hand here as well?

[Liara Covert]

Hi there.

You may wish to check out this free course on building self-confidence:
Self Confidence Tips - FREE Course

This is another helpful site: Building Self Esteem

[Alvin]

Originally Posted by TheFlyingMan

Woah Man Alvin, that is a great tool. I thought I had raised my self esteem but I filled in the blanks with negative stuff...damn....

Can you give me a hand here as well?

Aha, I got you too, Flying Man!

Tell me 10 good things you like about you, and I'll give you a hand.

P.S. Battling a low self esteem sounds so...I dunno...why battle why you can overcome? Or smother? Or seduce, discover, probe, booster, love?

[Mercury_Rising]

Believe it or not, improving your self esteem begins with being kind to yourself.... acknowledging and accepting the wonderful person you are regardless of who you are. I believe essentially people are good. We just get covered up along the way and our journey is about uncovering the gold within ourselves.

This isn't a "solution", but it is a place to start. I've found that if I accept the "negative" aspects of myself, it becomes a lot easier to work with them. If I reject these "negative" aspects, they seem to come back all the stronger.

Good Luck!

[Saidin]

I started filling the blanks with negative words, for the first three blanks. I'm normally an optimistic person, don't know why I don't feel that way when people talk about me.

Originally Posted by Alvin

Saidin, if you can tell me 10 good things you like about yourself, I'll give you the secrets to high self-esteem. Promise.

Hmmm okay, I'll bite.

1. My relationship
2. I can make people feel good about themselves
3. I've got a wide variety of interests
4. I've got a lot of love in me
5. My health
6. I like helping people out with problems
7. I'm very honest
8. I never get bored
9. I'm always open to new things
10. I'm very empathic

[groove88]

guys. errmm. would there be one for sexual confidence or raising your self esteem while going to bed with a partner? Some advice would be cool. i get insecure about my body ..

[Colm OReilly]

Originally Posted by groove88

guys. errmm. would there be one for sexual confidence or raising your self esteem while going to bed with a partner? Some advice would be cool. i get insecure about my body ..

"I am enough"

[John Hill]

You can overcome this problem of low self esteem by yourself. You say you are optimistic so that is a great starting point. What you need to do is get in touch with the vast power of your subconscious mind. I have written extensively on the power of your mind at the link below.

John

[TheFlyingMan]

Hehe. Yes you got me!

OK here's 10 things I like about myself.

1. I'm kind
2. I'm loyal
3. I'm pretty honest
4. I'm genuine
5. I work hard on my flaws
6. I'm passionate about things I like
7. I'm giving
8. I'm relatively good tempered
9. I'm happy most of the time, have the tools to make me happy when I slump.
10. I have a sense of humour when I can activate it.

Hmm...after 5 I had to think to get my things I like....not good!

[Alvin]

Originally Posted by TheFlyingMan

Hehe. Yes you got me!

OK here's 10 things I like about myself.

1. I'm kind
2. I'm loyal
3. I'm pretty honest
4. I'm genuine
5. I work hard on my flaws
6. I'm passionate about things I like
7. I'm giving
8. I'm relatively good tempered
9. I'm happy most of the time, have the tools to make me happy when I slump.
10. I have a sense of humour when I can activate it.

Hmm...after 5 I had to think to get my things I like....not good!

Originally Posted by Saidin

I started filling the blanks with negative words, for the first three blanks. I'm normally an optimistic person, don't know why I don't feel that way when people talk about me.



Hmmm okay, I'll bite.

1. My relationship
2. I can make people feel good about themselves
3. I've got a wide variety of interests
4. I've got a lot of love in me
5. My health
6. I like helping people out with problems
7. I'm very honest
8. I never get bored
9. I'm always open to new things
10. I'm very empathic

Hey, I got 2 bites! Yippee

Well guys, if you've taken the time and effort to do this, you'll probably already know The Secret. How did you feel when you were thinking of the many ways you already are a kick-ass human being?

Pretty darn good, I'd suppose!

(Wait, unless you were stoned...do the exercise again dammit! Sober this time )

And...class dismissed.

Oops, were you expecting something else?

Erm...ok, tonight before you go to sleep, I want you to chant 'I'm really really great and by gosh, people will love me' 99 times before you go to sleep...upside down, ok? That's a Mega Secret Technique I'm not revealing anywhere else!



That's really it guys. To build a absolutely world-class low self-esteem, all you have to do is focus everyday on the ways you suck, and pretty soon you'll be carrying the Olympic gold of low self-esteem.

To build up a healthy self-esteem, acknowledge your weaknesses and screw-ups, but focus more on your strengths and achievements.

By golly, if that means patting yourself on the pat once in a while, and listening to the advice of a guy telling you to list your top 10 qualities...then do it!



To key is, in the words of Robert Dilts, to shift yourself from learned hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness to have hope for the future, a sense of capability and responsibility, and a sense of self-worth and belonging.

Gosh, those are probably the biggest words I'll be using in this post. If you guys could come up with 10, you're pretty far along already...give yourself a pat on the back

My turn:

1) I'm funny.

2) I love to learn.

3) I love to make people laugh.

4) I'm a good and loyal friend.

5) I can cheer people up.

6) I have a blog where I share stuff that makes a difference!

7) I attract awesome friends...I must be pretty awesome too :P

8) I'm loving...I love my family and friends so much.

9) I'm a good writer!

10) I've faced so many of my fears over the last 3 years, ever since I became a coach - and I'm darn proud of myself for that!