Need help with emotional trial

[StevenA]

I have had a lot of success with 30-day trials, but I've always had a difficult time with ones involving control over my thoughts and emotions. I want to unattach my emotions from external circumstances, so I figure what better way then a new trial or two. My only problem is the best thing I can think of is to just write that out as the trial and read it several times a day. It really doesn't provide me with a how-to on doing that. Any ideas on how I could break this down into some achievable trials?

[smallstar]

Cheers,

In my opinion, a successful trial will always need to be:

* positive
* measurable
* impressive
* documentable
* flexible

Positiveness = you should agree to do something rather than abstain from doing something. Don't stop drinking, start to have sports every day so that drinking would ruin your sport schedule (that's how I cut my drinking by 75%).

Measurability = you should have a clear way of identifying if you are progressing according to the trial or not.

Impressive = you should be doing something that way exceeds your normal level.

Documentable = you should boast of your trial, at least to someone.

Flexible = you should prepare for an acceptable number of failures, to set the limit of an acceptable result (etc 25 days out of 30), and not to quit even if you are falling behind on that.

Some crazy ideas:

* You desire to have more of X. Every day, spend at least 10/30 minutes painting a picture / writing a poem / short story / dramatizing / visualizing / meditating etc. about X. In your case, X would be serenity, if I understood correctly.

* Test yourself - play a computer game with a heart rate meter. Online strip poker is great - try to concentrate to the game instead of the girls.

* Test yourself even more - if you are afraid of rejection, ask someone to a date every day or do some public speaking and look how the heart rate meter goes.

[joshbickford]

If you're struggling with your thoughts and emotions, make your trial to notice what you're thinking.

Once you can catch yourself thinking things that you don't want to think, or feeling ways you don't want to feel, then you can conciously make the choice to change that thought or feeling and focus in on something you want.

[StevenA]

Meditation seems like the useful thing to do for this sort of trial, so we'll see how it goes! Thanks!

[Mercury_Rising]

Meditation has been very beneficial to my quality of life. If you haven't already, I'd suggest getting a good qualified meditation coach.

What I've learned is that it is not about controlling your emotions, but rather allowing these to be fully acknowledged, accepted and experienced. This does not mean that you act upon these, rather you just honor them.

I've found from personal experience if I try to sweep emotions under the rug, they'll come back and bite me even harder down the road.

One tip that has helped me a tremendous amount: When you are caught up in a story that is unhealthy, pause and focus on the underlying feelings and emotions. This simple tool has helped me live with life versus struggle with life.

Here is an article regarding this process:
Facing Challenging Situations Authentically

Good Luck!

Dave

[Andrew Brunelle]

Emotions are never going to go away, but it's how you look at the emotions that you can change. If you're angry, you don't have to throw a temper tantrum, just say, "This will pass." If you're sad, say the same thing. If you're happy, unfortunately, it too shall pass.