EFT and Dating

[bd90]

Does anyone have information or experience with EFT and dating? I have a fear of approaching women, most likely from a low self-esteem. I feel like there is an emotional block in me. I don't know much about EFT so I'm curious to explore this. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[WordKeeper]

I recently received an EFT e-mail from EFT master Stephan about this very subject. Here are some of the links from that e-mail. The first is Stephan's home site, the 2nd is a link to a blog radio program he did on finding love. There are several good EFT-blog radio links at that site and then the last is a link to a telecast class he is offering beginning in March.

EFT-Alive: Expert EFT Counselor, Couples Counseling, & Group Therapy - Energy Psychology (Tapping)
BlogTalkRadio - EFTclass - Finding the Love You Want - using EFT & The Law of Attraction - EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques, Stefan Gonick EFT Expert, Attracting Love relationships, Law of Attraction LOA, Eleanore Duyndam
Finding the Love You Want with EFT

What I love about EFT is that I can do it without hiring anyone to do it for me. Get a tutorial at EFT Home - World Center for EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). The other thing I love is that EFT helps you identify the early childhood woundings that get in the way with today's living. It is easy and it works. Good luck.

[magi13]

Originally Posted by bd90

Does anyone have information or experience with EFT and dating? I have a fear of approaching women, most likely from a low self-esteem. I feel like there is an emotional block in me. I don't know much about EFT so I'm curious to explore this. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Can you post the cause, if you know the cause of the problem then you can develop on that.

anyway i'll post a criticism on EFT here that I found on wiki

Criticism

EFT has been labeled as pseudoscience in the Skeptical Inquirer magazine, based on what the journal describes as its lack of falsifiability, reliance on anecdotal evidence and aggressive promotion via the Internet.[5] Gary Craig, the developer of EFT, has argued that tapping anywhere on the body will manipulate "energy meridians". There are many points used by acupuncturists which are not included in EFT methodology, and tapping one of those may have an accidental effect not yet explored. Skeptics have asserted that such an argument renders EFT untestable via the scientific method, and therefore a pseudoscience.[5][6] This argument is also addressed by the Waite and Holder paper, in which the participants tapped on a doll, rather than themselves. Waite and Holder have suggested that EFT's successes are likely to stem from "characteristics it shares with more traditional therapies", rather than manipulation of supposed "energy meridians" via tapping. The 2003 study showed that EFT, a modeling treatment and a placebo all produced a significant decrease in anxiety and fear over a control group.[2] A recent article in the Guardian, written by journalists, suggested that the act of tapping parts of the body in a complicated sequence acts as a distraction, and therefore can appear to alleviate the root distress.[7] The therapist repeats a reminder phrase every few seconds throughout the treatment, to draw the client's attention back to the problem.[citation needed]
[edit]References

1. ^ Wells S, Polglase K, Andrews H, Carrington P, Baker A (2003). "Evaluation of a meridian-based intervention, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), for reducing specific phobias of small animals". J Clin Psychol 59 (9): 943–66. doi:10.1002/jclp.10189. PMID 12945061.

2. ^ a b Wendy L. Waite and Mark D. Holder (2003). "Assessment of the Emotional Freedom Technique: An Alternative Treatment for Fear". The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice 2 (1).

3. ^ Moss, Gwyneth. "Links to EFT related websites". Retrieved on 2008-07-27.

4. ^ Jack E. Rowe, The Effects of EFT on Long-Term Psychological Symptoms. Counseling and Clinical Psychology, Volume 2, Issue 3 September 2005, (pp. 104-111), ISSN: 1545-4452 (online)1931-2091 (print)

5. ^ a b Brandon A. Gaudiano and James D. Herbert (2000). "Can we really tap our problems away?". Skeptical Inquirer 24 (4).

6. ^ TFT's Pseudoscience Cousins. Accessed 5 Feb 2007.

7. ^ Oliver Burkeman (March 2007). "Happy Talk". Guardian Monthly.

[WordKeeper]

I find those criticism to be odd.

Nothing about EFT requires that it meet a definition of science nor does someone's description of it as a pseudoscience invalidate its effectiveness.

The tapping sequence is not set in stone and is in no case "complicated." The phrase and the tapping need not be used by a practitioner at all. It can all be done by oneself, on oneself. And if the repeated phrase works well then halleluia!

[magi13]

like i said it's criticism and it does have a valid point. i'm not trying to disprove eft or anything. i just posted it as a reference for the thread starter.

and i just asked him if what was the root cause of his problems. if he does find out the answer to such then, he can fix it because now he knows why. that's the thing he needs to face with the usage of EFT or what not products or by himself.

[bd90]

I'm not sure what the cause is. I imagine it has something to do with my childhood. Growing up I had a poor self-esteem of myself. I was teased for being fat, I was very self conscious. I was a dreamer type as a kid but my family would always put me down. They were so negative and I guess I learned that instead of believing I could, I learned that I couldn't have what I wanted in life. I'm sure that's a part of it, however, there could be more layers that I'm aware of. I'm just tired of feeling like hopeless.

[Senin]

EFT is good technology. Even if the tapping of specific points doesnt matter much. The phrase is great. The tapping distracts the part of the brain that resists so the intention penetrates. EFT is good.

As far as the dating scene goes, check out the Pick Up Artist. Great technology there too.

[magi13]

Originally Posted by bd90

I'm not sure what the cause is. I imagine it has something to do with my childhood. Growing up I had a poor self-esteem of myself. I was teased for being fat, I was very self conscious. I was a dreamer type as a kid but my family would always put me down. They were so negative and I guess I learned that instead of believing I could, I learned that I couldn't have what I wanted in life. I'm sure that's a part of it, however, there could be more layers that I'm aware of. I'm just tired of feeling like hopeless.

Try to be more assertive with your replies, if you read your reply you will realize you answered my question 120 percent without fail. :3 congratulate yourself for that.

you said that you were always put down.

you say you are fat.

these are factors that gave you negative self esteem.

Prove them wrong. You don't have to accept the things they tell you because if you do, that's it, you gave up and that's the end.

By posting this thread and informing us of your problem we can help guide you to the proper path in which the end result you will have to decide by yourself and yours alone.

With respect to words, you now know that negative words affect you a lot. It affects me too if someone I value and respect would call me useless. Do your best and prove them wrong by your actions and show them that you can be worth something. Use this negative feeling as a drive, be a little angry, you should be. It'll drive away depression for awhile and you can build up motivation by rewarding yourself for each accomplishment you make.

What accomplishment you ask? The choice to improve, and each little baby steps and simple goals you achieve.

With respect to being fat, you can fix this via checking the other forums on loosing weight or becoming leaner. You have to accept the fact that this is your own turning critical point in life.

Pain is the mother of experience, she is a harsh master but her rewards are worth it. Learn from this, and take advantage of what you now know.

You can hurt others by negative words and by being judgmental of their physical appearance.

My own tip for loosing weight, before you eat, drink as much water as you can, then eat what comes after that. eat three times a day, but in between meals promise yourself that water is your source of food till the next meal or after.

I did not recommend exercising, because I know this method works. Try it, when you get a little bit leaner, take the time to walk around your room for five minutes, i know it's not much but it'll slowly improve your physique.

Fight, be angry for a little bit but not too much, be conscious and responsible for your actions. When they put you down, express your feelings and ask them to stop. They are just human like you. The difference is they pick on you to build themselves up. Stop them, by asserting yourself, in a calm manner saying, "my family I love you, you do know that I feel hurt when you put me down, please support me and empower or motivate me to do what's right."

It's best if you choose your own words. Think, seek and find the answers within you. ^^, you know your weakness now take advantage of it.

[Plato]

I have tried tapping, but not enough to say whether it works.

One thing that does work is The Work by Byron Katie. Trying to let go of negative thoughts doesn't work, but she has a system that allows you to naturally let go of them without trying. Click link in my sig if you want to have a go.

[bluedragon]

Acupuncture works in ways that simply CANNOT be explained by the actual science, because it doesn't acknowledge chi. Some thing CAN be explained, but Chi is also involved in the process, and therefore, excluding it will obviously lead to a fallacious explanation.
But acupuncture (the same as Qigong and Tai Chi) - are not pseudo-anything, they're some of the most ancient and powerful methods of improving and maintaining health. I'm not an expert yet, and I don't know what EFT uses and how accurate it is according to the Chinese medicine system of acupoints, but it can never be fully explained by science as long as 1) it has something to do with acupuncture (if not everything), and 2) science doesn't acknowledge the existence of Chi.

[cassiopeia]

While I don't have any experience with EFT and dating, I do have a lot of experience with EFT, and it definitely works. It should do wonders when using it for dating issues since it works very well on anything fear or anxiety based. The trick, when doing EFT though is always to find the core issue - it can take some time and effort. But you just have to learn how to listen to your own instincts. EFT is like unpeeling the layers of an onion - when you've cleared one issue, you often find that there's another one causing the same behaviour, and sometimes it can seem like it never ends, but eventually you do get to the core.

Anyway, I definitely reccomend it, it's been an invaluable self-help tool for me. It's free, easy, doesn't take too much time. It can even be done on the bus or train as a way of passing time!

[Anand Dhillon]

Approach Anxiety - EFT Video

Try it out.

[danas]

http://www.creatavision.com/products...lationship.htm

[bd90]

Thanks for all your replies. I know that you care and I sense that. I appreciate it.

Well tonight I went out and had a good time. I actually got a girl's number. It was the first time in a long time that I felt alive. I'm glad I let go of my fear even if it was just for a night. I tried the EFT before I went out and it seemed to work. I also talk to "my fear" and just let him know that I appreciate him trying to protect me, yet at the same time, I hope that he would support me. Strange I know, but talking to him like he was a person actually made a lot of sense.

I am excited and will pursue the EFT materials and see what it has to offer. So far it's been great.

[Curtis2011]

Anyone who criticizes Emotional Freedom Techniques seems to be blatantly unaware of the THOUSANDS of success stories that its users and practitioners have shared on emofree.com


Obviously SOMETHING about the EFT process is able to cure negative psychological and physical conditions, or there wouldn't be such astounding and reproducible results.


I cured myself of lactose intolerance more than two years ago using only EFT, and I am still able to drink milk today without getting sick. Shove THAT in the critics' pipes and smoke it!

[WordKeeper]

Way to go BD90!!! Way to go. Glad you had a good time. Keep pushing your comfort limit and keep up the EFT. Talking to your fear as though it is a human is a fantastic strategy. Tap while you talk to it and you may be lead to the source.

I'm going to try talking to my issues. I have already learned a technique called matrix reimprinting developed by an EFT master in which a person talks to their inner child and taps on him or her to get to those early life issues. Sounds weird but weird can work!

[EFT4Dating]

BD90... Look at EFT as a tool. Many people know the basics of EFT and you can learn the basic EFT sequences off of youtube from the hundreds of videos.

EFT is a tool just like a hammer, screwdriver, saw, etc... Many people can use a hammer, screwdriver, and still cannot build a house. Only some people like general contractors, carpenters, and specialists can use these tools and successfully build a house. EFT done by skilled practitioners can be very powerful. Some of my clients came to me because other EFT practitioners did not get them results.

Novice EFT practitioners look like this
- have the ability to just tap on the basic EFT sequence
- have many fear issues like low-self esteem. Some are highly judgment of themselves and others.
- do not unconditionally accept themselves and others ie they have not healed many other their own issues.
- put the responsibility of healing on clients when the results are not there, and would say something like 'client is not ready to heal'
- are not able to completely eliminate subjective units of distress (SUD). SUD is a commonly used measurement by the EFT community to gage emotional stress from a scale of (0-10) . 10 is highest intensity/highest level of stress. 0 is no emotional stress, and after tapping, stress can be completely gone. Many novice practitioners are happy to get the SUD to down to 2,3, or 4 instead of 0, and be ok with the results.

Highly skilled EFT practioners look like this...
- have the ability to tap SUDs to zero consistently at least 95% of time or better
- have developed intuitive skills to only tap specific points and get results
- have the ability to shift entire beliefs. For example, the belief 'I am not worthly' is caused by 3, 4, 5 life experiences that support that specific belief. By tapping out each specific experience and reducing the SUD level to a zero, the specific belief of 'I am not worthly' goes away. One of my clients had a verbally abusive father putting him down and had several intense experiences. I worked with him to tap out each experience associated with the belief of 'not being worthly.’ After tapping 5 intense experiences with his father, the belief dissolved.
- have the ability to install new beliefs after old beliefs are removed. For instance, the old belief of 'I'm not worthly' is replaced with a new belief like 'I'm good enough for anyone.’
- have the ability to relate their own real life experiences of how they gone through similiar fears/insecuries and how they overcome them. They walk the talk.
- live the consciousness of unconditonally accepting of themselves and others. They are almost non-judgmental and have deep compassion for all human beings. Most highly skilled practitioners are very Gary Craig-like (EFT founder)

Also, since there are many EFT practitioners, I recommend you screen EFT practitioners based on skill and specialization. If you have specific needs, go with a specialist... some EFTers specialize in post traumatic stress disorder, weight lost, smoking cessations, chronic pain, etc.
I specialized in dating and relationship issues for men and women. For men, one area of specialization is approach anxiety. Cotact me for a free consultation.
Dating is easy! Attract the person of your Dreams with Emotional Freedom Technique!

[EFT4Dating]

BD90... Look at EFT as a tool. Many people know the basics of EFT and you can learn the basic EFT sequences off of youtube from the hundreds of videos.

EFT is a tool just like a hammer, screwdriver, saw, etc... Many people can use a hammer, screwdriver, and still cannot build a house. Only some people like general contractors, carpenters, and specialists can use these tools and successfully build a house. EFT done by skilled practitioners can be very powerful. Some of my clients came to me because other EFT practitioners did not get them results.

Novice EFT practitioners look like this
- have the ability to just tap on the basic EFT sequence
- have many fear issues like low-self esteem. Some are highly judgment of themselves and others.
- do not unconditionally accept themselves and others ie they have not healed many other their own issues.
- put the responsibility of healing on clients when the results are not there, and would say something like 'client is not ready to heal'
- are not able to completely eliminate subjective units of distress (SUD). SUD is a commonly used measurement by the EFT community to gage emotional stress from a scale of (0-10) . 10 is highest intensity/highest level of stress. 0 is no emotional stress, and after tapping, stress can be completely gone. Many novice practitioners are happy to get the SUD to down to 2,3, or 4 instead of 0, and be ok with the results.

Highly skilled EFT practioners look like this...
- have the ability to tap SUDs to zero consistently at least 95% of time or better
- have developed intuitive skills to only tap specific points and get results
- have the ability to shift entire beliefs. For example, the belief 'I am not worthly' is caused by 3, 4, 5 life experiences that support that specific belief. By tapping out each specific experience and reducing the SUD level to a zero, the specific belief of 'I am not worthly' goes away. One of my clients had a verbally abusive father putting him down and had several intense experiences. I worked with him to tap out each experience associated with the belief of 'not being worthly.’ After tapping 5 intense experiences with his father, the belief dissolved.
- have the ability to install new beliefs after old beliefs are removed. For instance, the old belief of 'I'm not worthly' is replaced with a new belief like 'I'm good enough for anyone.’
- have the ability to relate their own real life experiences of how they gone through similiar fears/insecuries and how they overcome them. They walk the talk.
- live the consciousness of unconditonally accepting of themselves and others. They are almost non-judgmental and have deep compassion for all human beings. Most highly skilled practitioners are very Gary Craig-like (EFT founder)

Also, since there are many EFT practitioners, I recommend you screen EFT practitioners based on skill and specialization. If you have specific needs, go with a specialist... some EFTers specialize in post traumatic stress disorder, weight lost, smoking cessations, chronic pain, etc.

I specialized in dating and relationship issues for men and women. For men, one area of specialization is approach anxiety. Cotact me for a free consultation.
Dating is easy! Attract the person of your Dreams with Emotional Freedom Technique!
www. eft4dating.com