How Do You Constantly Radiate Positive Energy?

[DiscoDan]

I notice this is my biggest problem when it comes to both emotions and relationships. For example, even though I might care for someone, if I don't radiate that positive energy when around them, they tend to feel that I find them boring, uninteresting, etc.

I'm definitely not depressed (at least not in the traditional sense - I'm not suicidal, I feel I have tremendous worth, etc.), but I do notice I don't smile or laugh as much as I used to. I also have some mild health problems (allergies, asthma, and reflux sometimes make it difficult for me to talk loudly or for long periods of time).

If you were in my position, how would you go about both increasing energy levels and radiating more positive energy? Would it be worthwhile to try some natural antidepressants (such as St. John's Wort, which would increase positivity), or should I focus more on improving my physical symptoms (thereby increasing energy levels), both, or some other method I'm not thinking of? The only thing that concerns me is the myriad of pills I would need to take to alleviate some fairly mild symptoms, if I follow that route. Any suggestions?

[Steve Pavlina]

I'd say some of the major factors to radiating lots of positive energy are:

• diet and exercise, especially frequent cardio workouts
• hanging around positive people at least weekly and firing the negative people from your life
• choosing a career you're naturally passionate about
• figuring out what you fear and consciously facing those fears one by one
• becoming aware of negative thoughts and substituting positive replacements (make this a permanent habit)

[DiscoDan]

Thanks for the quick response, Steve. All of your advice really resonates with me, especialy the part about adding cardio to my workouts (which I had recently cut down on in order to put on some weight - I will be sure to add it back to my regular workouts).

I also notice that many people in my life tend to be in the same position as me: not very negative, but not as positive as they could be as well. Perhaps this is my biggest obstacle: that no one in my life right now exudes the type of positive energy I am aiming for. What's the best way to introduce these kinds of people into your life and where can you find them?

[mattsonn]

I can tell you what I am doing about that issue right now. Each week I make the conscious decision to be happy for the rest of that week. Rule #1 is that I can acknowledge problems, but I won't let them affect my conscious happiness. Rule #2 is that I'm allowed give in and not be happy one time during that week. So far, so good.

You mentioned another issue though, relationships.

You also mentioned natural anti-depressants.

Finally, you mentioned surrounding yourself with positive, happy people.

[The Probabilist]

Originally Posted by DiscoDan

What's the best way to introduce these kinds of people into your life and where can you find them?

Finding Fresh Brains

[moviestar]

The important question you need to ask is - WHY do you want to radiate positive energy? What do you want to change and how commited you are to do that?

[elainevdw]

Hey Dan,

The two things that most affect my attitude are:

1) How I've cared for my body
2) How I've cared for my passions

The first one usually means I'm really grumpy when I'm sleepy. It also extends to feeling sleepy less often when I eat better and exercise more.

The second has to do with fulfilment. When I'm excited about what I'm doing, most importantly for my living and then secondarily as my hobbies and points of interest, I'm content and upbeat.

What Steve said about hanging around the right people helps, too. Though to some degree you always have control over your own emotions, it's more difficult to stay upbeat around certain people. So I guess you could make that:

3) How I've cared for my relationships

Maintain those that buoy your spirits and fulfil your social needs; try not to get caught up in those that steal your positive energy away. And realize when it's YOU, not your friend, who's bringing you down!

[DiscoDan]

Originally Posted by moviestar

The important question you need to ask is - WHY do you want to radiate positive energy? What do you want to change and how commited you are to do that?

There are several reasons WHY I want to radiate positive energy. My major problem is that after being around people who I care about for long periods of time, smiling, laughing, and even talking in general become tiring activities that only seem to irritate me. And while I enjoy being around these people, they take the fact that I seem to "shut down" as an indication that I don't want to be around them at all, which simply isn't true. As a result, many of my relationships and friendships are not at the level which I wish for them to be. To me, there's nothing more disheartening than seeing the look of disappointment and rejection in a good friend's eyes when I "tire out" from conversing with them. I believe that my friends deserve better, and I am determined to do whatever it takes to show them how much they mean to me.

Secondly, my future career goals include management. And there's something about managers who constantly radiate positive energy that can cause even the most disgruntled employee to become more motivated and happy at work. I feel that all successful managers should be able to create a positive and enjoyable working environment for his or her employees, and my goals require that I be no less than extraordinary as a manager when the time comes.

As to WHAT I'm willing to change, at this point I am willing to try anything. I've had varying levels of success with cardio workouts (most of the time they leave me feeling extremely positive all day, although sometimes they pull me down due to asthma) and energy drinks (work all the time, but certainly cannot be good for my health in the long run if I'm chugging these all the time). In the coming weeks, I will try several new approaches:
1) Steve's suggestion to be around more positive people weekly
2) mattsonn's suggestion to make a mental "to-do" list at the beginning of every week (your rule #1 eerily reminds me of a concept I read about this week in the book Good to Great by Jim Collins known as the Stockdale paradox - is this I-M at work? )
3) Elaine's suggestion about sleepiness. My sleep cycles are completely out of whack (as of writing, it is now 3:25AM where I live - my apologies to you, Elaine )

Anyway, I would like to thank all of you for your fantastic suggestions. I will make it a point to 30 day trial all of them.

[moviestar]

OK, I think you are on the right way, you have a good reason for change so it will be easier. Your 'shutting' is caused by one or two things:

- lack of energy
this can be easily fixed by getting a sleep cycle that fits you

- some deeper problem with people
maybe deeply inside you just don't want to show your friends that you like them, maybe you believe that they will hurt you once you are positive about them? Think about what are your REAL motives and see how they feel.

Surrounding yourself with positive people is a great method, your problems may just fade away automatically if you do that. You don't even have to talk to them just observe how they interact (even watching movies with positive people might help).

[joie_de_vivre]

DiscoDan, You have already received many good suggestions. I would like to add one more: I believe that my greatest source of positive energy comes from a connection with nature and the earth. When we live a fast-paced lifestyle, it is easy to become separated from the natural world and its cycles.

One solution I've found is to keep a gratitude journal, and record the many small (yet wonderful) details that I notice, from day to day. I write them as a list in a notebook, with a clear description. For example:
-Hearing the birds singing, through the open window
-The aroma of freshly brewed coffee, and the chance to take a break from working. How pleasant, sitting with a friend and sipping coffee.
-Gazing at the moon and stars on a clear night
-Holding a new baby in your arms, and being amazed at how tiny they are
-The intense blue color of morning glory flowers

I discovered that the more I write in my gratitude journal, the more my senses have become attuned to the positive things all around me, which seem to have their origin in nature. There is an infinite number of these good things all around me, if I choose to notice them. The more gratitude I have in my life, the more positive energy I feel and share with others. Perhaps it's contagious! If I'm feeling discouraged, re-reading the journal will perk me up, and inspire me. I have been doing it for over 10 years, and I highly recommend it to anyone.

Learn to use your sight, hearing, sense of taste, smell, and touch more keenly to experience and appreciate the world around you. Cultivate a sense of wonder and curiousity.

PS: I don't have a blog, but here is one I like, which explains gratitude journalling:
Gratitude Journals and Why They Work - Christine Kane - Blog » Blog Archive

[mtrimpe]

I personally also have a problem with radiating this positive energy. Through NLP I've learnt to control the energy I radiate to such an extent that I can pretty much turn this energy up and down at will to a very high degree.

However for some reason it seems to me that I'm around people that will always follow my energy level. If I turn mine up, they will slowly follow, if I turn mine down they will quickly fall back. I need to turn my level down to a very low level to notice them being ahead of me in terms of energy.

For a long time I just kept up my energy no matter what, and I found it not so difficult to maintain. Then slowly however I let people put boundaries on my displays of this energy, I let them guide it in ways I didn't trule agree with (in my case the main error was accepting to go get a job because my partner needed the financial security at that moment, while I knew that in the long run staying independent would have resulted in far greater benefits, but since then there have been many such small compromises) and ever since that I've found I chose to let my positive energy level slide down.

I think this is because I unconsciously doubt that the actions I take from a state that seems pure and positive to me are for the good of others if it causes them upset. Over time I've come to believe that most people really don't want you to become truly energetic and positive because it will cost them too much trouble, it will mean they have to work too hard just to be around you or something.

What should I do now? Should I turn up my positive energy to the fullest and accept all the upset I cause or should I slowly try to find ways to raise my energy without causing the upset? I can't figure it out.

[ZenFender]

Have you tried meditation DiscoDan?

Heres one I would recommend for cultivating positive energy:

"BODY OF LIGHT

- Visualise above the crown of your head a white ball of light, somewhat smaller than your head. It has no real form and is pure white energy. Do not concentrate on details, just try to feel it is there.
- Imagine that the light embodies all the pure love of the universe, the accomplishment of the highest potential of living beings.
- Visualise the ball becomes smaller, about the size of your thumb, and it enters the crown of your head, and descends to the level of your heart.
- Now the light expands and fills your entire body. All the material of the body dissolves into light. What remains is a body of light without shape.
- Concentrate on the feeling this light-body gives, all problems and negativities are gone, only peace and happiness is left.
- When distracting thoughts arise, simply dissolve them in the light."

From View on Buddhism: (Tibetan) Buddhist practice and philosophy

I always feel absolutely amazing and energized after that meditation.

But to be honest, I think theres some greater and deeper underlying issue thats causing this tiredness. I think it would be wrong to say that what you're experiencing right now is "normal." Mayeb you could scout around more and be more aware when you're interacting to find out the real reason for your tiredness. Good luck!

[MrMonopoly]

There has never ever ever been a person you'd want to spend an hour together with who is "constantly radiating positive energy".

[Liara Covert]

I have enjoyed the previous postings in this thread. In addition, you may be touched in your soul by something I read which I truly believe in. That is:

You are (or will evolve into) the lives of the individuals you spend the most time with. Since you're unhappy because you may have low energy levels, be slightly overweight or be unsatisfied with your attitude or life choices, I would invite you to reflect on the five people you spend the most time with. What do they do? How do they think? Do you aspire to be like them? Consider their eating & drinking habits, lifestyles, financial situation, spirituality, goals (or lack of them), their personalities, perceptions, mindsets and other activities. If you'd like, make a chart with columns. Consider your compatibility. Where you detect many incompatibilities, this is a sign to start spending more time with people who motivate and inspire you to stretch yourself. Steve makes a great point about limiting time with negative people. After all, they would drag you down not help you get ahead.