the animal in us

[lifetimelearner]

tonight my little kitty Daisy got upset over the blender being on so I went to pick her up to take to another room and she went wild and attacked me
I have about 7 -4 inch scratches on my lt arm
I know she was just reacting to the noise and not me

but my question is
and I am not trying to get sympathy here for saying this
but I remember when my husband would get mad at me
and hit me he would have this wild look in his eyes -animalistic in a way

I have read many studies on this subject
but I want to know what you guys think of how and why
people react that way

I myself have had reactions to people where I feel like the 'claws' want to come out



so any opinions ?

[RT Wolf]

On what, sorry? Are we animals? Yep. A lot of our behaviour is still rooted in animalistic tendancies. Our dominance hierarchy and status natures are shared with lobsters, of all things. We're aggressive and empathic by nature. We make alliances by grooming each other's backs, much like chimps do. We're basically the third chimp. Chimps "bow", in a sense. Chimps are often engaged in dominance hierarchy climbing and play-wrestle and tease top level chimps to figure out if their weak and need to be thrown down. Kids do this sorta thing, too, they try to figure out their place on dominance hierarchies by pushing the limits of what the adults around them do.

In addition to all of that, if a top level chimp hits a lower level chimp, that chimp will hit a lower level chimp, all the way down. Sound familiar? A man's boss chews him out so he comes home and yells at his wife, kids or pets. Chimps are smart enough not to attack small and weaker chimps if they are part of a strong family.

The common chimp, usually two males or one male and female will patrol the edges of a chimp troop's territory. If they come across a chimp from another troop that's alone, they'll rip it to shreds. Chimps are also hunt for small monkeys and will eat it screaming. They're now using spears to do that.

But there's also the Bonobo chimps, which just have sex all the time to reduce tension and violence. Basically a matriarchical species that uses that suppress male aggression.

But we're also not. We've had to give up unconscious identification with the animal world. We have in some ways transcended being "just" animals, and try to incorporate our animal instincts into bigger and bigger games.

We’re Not All That Different From Chimps | Mind-Manual

[determined]

My answer lacks scientific terms, since my 'technical' psych knowledge is limited. Never the less, here is my attempt to unravel the elements which cause abusive behaviours.

The premise is, when people feel helpless they go into survival mode, as a means of self-protection.

In the case of an abusive mate, they may feel helpless emotionally. They may be upset about their past, or even about the present - trapped in a whirl of painful emotions. With no way to change their current situation into something better, they may feel unable to survive in this emotional pain.

By abusing someone, they feel physically stronger, and instinctively humans believe the strong survive and the weak die. Thus, feeling 'strong' reinforces that they're able to survive. It's like a drug. The act of abusing does not mean they will be able to survive the emotional pain. Although for the moment, they feel like they can - since their visible strength indicates their ability to survive.

In essence, I believe the root cause of abusive behaviours is linked to human survival instincts. People use it to feel strong and thus confident in their ability to survive. They trick them selves into feeling more secure about surviving their situation. It is self-deception.

[Trey Baird]

People who are abusive, whether it be to children, women, animals, etc. experience a very addictive feeling. These people have a need to assert control in their life, and oftentimes turn to abuse when they can't get it in more meaningful ways. There's nothing like knowing that the well being of another living creature is in your hands, when you feel like your life is out of control.

Of course, that's not a good thing. These people need to learn how to identify what is out of control in their life, and assert themselves and take control. I don't know if I would call it an animalistic trait, even though human beings are animals. I would call it a massive surge of endorphins.

[lifetimelearner]

I had no idea Rt wolf that -
"Our dominance hierarchy and status natures are shared with lobsters, of all things"

I have read about the dominance hierarchy of the chimps
but those Bonobo chimps 'got it going on ' !


I have read a tedious number of books on why people abuse and just wanted other opinions and ideas

thanks for the response

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by determined

My answer lacks scientific terms, since my 'technical' psych knowledge is limited. Never the less, here is my attempt to unravel the elements which cause abusive behaviours.

The premise is, when people feel helpless they go into survival mode, as a means of self-protection.

In the case of an abusive mate, they may feel helpless emotionally. They may be upset about their past, or even about the present - trapped in a whirl of painful emotions. With no way to change their current situation into something better, they may feel unable to survive in this emotional pain.

By abusing someone, they feel physically stronger, and instinctively humans believe the strong survive and the weak die. Thus, feeling 'strong' reinforces that they're able to survive. It's like a drug. The act of abusing does not mean they will be able to survive the emotional pain. Although for the moment, they feel like they can - since their visible strength indicates their ability to survive.

In essence, I believe the root cause of abusive behaviours is linked to human survival instincts. People use it to feel strong and thus confident in their ability to survive. They trick them selves into feeling more secure about surviving their situation. It is self-deception.

as you have demonstrated you do not have to have 'technical' psych knowledge to understand people
you understand just fine
thanks

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Trey Baird

. I don't know if I would call it an animalistic trait, even though human beings are animals.

but if you could witness the look in someone's eyes when they are out of control you would see the animalistic aspect I am referring to

thanks for you response

[lifetimelearner]

today my kitty daisy came up to me and licked one of my scratches she caused yesterday -
it reminded of how my ex used to come and beg foregiveness

the only difference is

I will be keeping the kitty

[Angela]

Like Kitty has triggers -- loud sudden noise of the blender -- all animals have triggers. That abusive guy had triggers that would reactivate his pain, and you do, too. We all do. The advantages you have over the guy and the kitty are that you can consciously and astutely be aware that there is this trigger-reactivation system going on, what the specific triggers/reactions are, and have access to compassion. (The guy has the ability to be conscious of this, of course, but it sounds like not much interest in being conscious of it -- and therefore less real power. Many people are perfectly content to live their lives being run by unconscious and outdated commitments that run contrary to their conscious desires.)

That wild-eyed "animal" look when someone is behaving contrary to their conscious desire? People rationalize and romanticize that as being "animal passion," but what it really is is a retreat from deliberate awareness in the present moment in favor of habitual thought. It's less "animal" than it is "machine" -- that is, it's the person being run by his thoughts, rather than doing the running. That works for cats, but not so well for humans.

Well, sometimes it works well for humans -- when you allow the gift of authentic fear to run the show, for instance.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Angela

Like Kitty has triggers -- loud sudden noise of the blender -- all animals have triggers. That abusive guy had triggers that would reactivate his pain, and you do, too. We all do. The advantages you have over the guy and the kitty are that you can consciously and astutely be aware that there is this trigger-reactivation system going on, what the specific triggers/reactions are, and have access to compassion. (The guy has the ability to be conscious of this, of course, but it sounds like not much interest in being conscious of it -- and therefore less real power. Many people are perfectly content to live their lives being run by unconscious and outdated commitments that run contrary to their conscious desires.)

That wild-eyed "animal" look when someone is behaving contrary to their conscious desire? People rationalize and romanticize that as being "animal passion," but what it really is is a retreat from deliberate awareness in the present moment in favor of habitual thought. It's less "animal" than it is "machine" -- that is, it's the person being run by his thoughts, rather than doing the running. That works for cats, but not so well for humans.

Well, sometimes it works well for humans -- when you allow the gift of authentic fear to run the show, for instance.

thanks for the insight Angela

I see what you are saying
I guess that's why he always used to say that I provoked him into beating me

[Angela]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

I guess that's why he always used to say that I provoked him into beating me

Yeah, from his limited perspective, that's true. Your behavior "caused" him to behave the way he did. Like a robot, you pushed his button, and his machinery made him take the only action he had available when that button is pushed. And then afterwards, being genuinely contrite about his lack of choice in the matter. Imagine living your entire life like that! Pretty sad.

Now if you want to be really powerful, take a bold look and see where you're doing that in your own life, and see if you can find choice in an area where you've been being run by habitual thought.

[Millissus64]

As a person that was born into abuse, married into abuse, and had children in it... I can now say that it was all about being controlled by controllers and accepting it instead of rejecting it. Did I know better at the time... no! Everytime that I accepted my ex-husbands abuse ( verbal, emotional, physical) I got to reinforce everything I believed about my 'worthlessness' taught to me via my parents. I taught people how they could treat me because I accepted it. Unfortunately all animals strive for two base things... the avoidance of fear and securing safety. In the human world that can become quite twisted if your reference for fear and safety are dysfunctional.
Anyway...interesting thread. Thanks, Angela.

[JaredR]

This reminds me of Lord of the Flies. Man's "inner beast" is talked about a lot therein.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Angela

Yeah, from his limited perspective, that's true. Your behavior "caused" him to behave the way he did. Like a robot, you pushed his button, and his machinery made him take the only action he had available when that button is pushed. And then afterwards, being genuinely contrite about his lack of choice in the matter. Imagine living your entire life like that! Pretty sad.

Now if you want to be really powerful, take a bold look and see where you're doing that in your own life, and see if you can find choice in an area where you've been being run by habitual thought.

he is sad -my feelings of anger have turned into feelings of just feeling sorry for him that he cannot step beyond his 'machinery' and into a higher plane of consciousness

thanks again I will add that bold look into my contin. search to bring more depth and meaning into my life

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by JaredR

This reminds me of Lord of the Flies. Man's "inner beast" is talked about a lot therein.

yeh I remember that
thanks

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Millissus64

As a person that was born into abuse, married into abuse, and had children in it... I can now say that it was all about being controlled by controllers and accepting it instead of rejecting it. Did I know better at the time... no! Everytime that I accepted my ex-husbands abuse ( verbal, emotional, physical) I got to reinforce everything I believed about my 'worthlessness' taught to me via my parents. I taught people how they could treat me because I accepted it. Unfortunately all animals strive for two base things... the avoidance of fear and securing safety. In the human world that can become quite twisted if your reference for fear and safety are dysfunctional.
Anyway...interesting thread. Thanks, Angela.

I hope you are away from that abuse now ?


boy how dysfunctional we humans can be
maybe we could have national trade day where we can exchange lives with our pets and just eat ,sleep and play with out toys

no wait some of us do that already !!

[Millissus64]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

I hope you are away from that abuse now ?


boy how dysfunctional we humans can be
maybe we could have national trade day where we can exchange lives with our pets and just eat ,sleep and play with out toys

no wait some of us do that already !!

I hope you are away from that abuse now ?


boy how dysfunctional we humans can be
maybe we could have national trade day where we can exchange lives with our pets and just eat ,sleep and play with out toys

no wait some of us do that already !!

[Millissus64]

Originally Posted by Millissus64

I hope you are away from that abuse now ?


boy how dysfunctional we humans can be
maybe we could have national trade day where we can exchange lives with our pets and just eat ,sleep and play with out toys

no wait some of us do that already !!

I still can't quite figure out how to quote from a reply... but I will.

Yes, lifetimelearner I am away from all abuse and do not allow myself to be abused in any way,shape, or form. It took me many years to understand that attracting abuse into my life was not an accident and that I was responsible for what was happening to me.