Fresh start?

[SeetheLight]

Hi there, first post from me; I've stumbled across this forum tonight and I find it quite refreshing that there are so many people chatting about all sorts of issues at this very moment. So I'm glad to have found you!
I've already had a look at some of the threads and related articles which I found very useful. I figured I'd just write down some... thoughts and troubles I'm having right now and if people find the time to read or reply then great.

I've just reached a milestone in my life (21) and I must say at the present moment I feel stuck. Its just I've felt my thoughts and experience change so much over the last few years that I've nearly become a different person, yet I'm being held back by the person I used to be and memories of the past I just regret. I don't feel so much as my change has been in different values, views, philosophy but more in the way that before I was eager to please, and willing to be accepted by a large social group, which in turn made me do things I now regret. I have visions of past experiences which I just detest; trying to be liked by a group of people that even at the time I wasn't sure I like but now know that I don't. These thoughts are going round in circles. A lot of people I hung around( and still do in some circumstances) with were quite laddish and I am also aware that when I do find new friends, they will clearly be aware of what I was like before. I am also talking about people I've known for a number of years, I just feel I have nothing in common with these people anymore.

So I just wondered if anyone could share some thoughts about a fresh start.
Moving on and getting past your past.

Thanks for reading!

[Maguru]

Originally Posted by SeetheLight

Hi there, first post from me; I've stumbled across this forum tonight and I find it quite refreshing that there are so many people chatting about all sorts of issues at this very moment. So I'm glad to have found you!
I've already had a look at some of the threads and related articles which I found very useful. I figured I'd just write down some... thoughts and troubles I'm having right now and if people find the time to read or reply then great.

I've just reached a milestone in my life (21) and I must say at the present moment I feel stuck. Its just I've felt my thoughts and experience change so much over the last few years that I've nearly become a different person, yet I'm being held back by the person I used to be and memories of the past I just regret. I don't feel so much as my change has been in different values, views, philosophy but more in the way that before I was eager to please, and willing to be accepted by a large social group, which in turn made me do things I now regret. I have visions of past experiences which I just detest; trying to be liked by a group of people that even at the time I wasn't sure I like but now know that I don't. These thoughts are going round in circles. A lot of people I hung around( and still do in some circumstances) with were quite laddish and I am also aware that when I do find new friends, they will clearly be aware of what I was like before. I am also talking about people I've known for a number of years, I just feel I have nothing in common with these people anymore.

So I just wondered if anyone could share some thoughts about a fresh start.
Moving on and getting past your past.

Thanks for reading!

Welcome. I have just reached a milestone too. 60 yrs old. I know exactly how you feel. Some things we have done just make us cringe, don't they? It's normal. It's life. I was a lot older and had alot more regrets before I understood.

Let me try to explain. What you were doing was experiencing. Without judgement of these experiences, you will see that they contributed to your growth, change and understanding of who you are now.

How could you know what you want and who you want to be without experience of what you do not want. There is no substitute for experience and more choices become available the more you have. Don't judge yourself for what you didn't know, didn't do, should have done. You know now and it is an asset.

Just try to focus on yourself to become who you want to be. It takes a little while to adjust. Take care

[SeetheLight]

Thank you for the comments Maguru. I guess it will take time to adjust to getting over those memories. Also I think it will take time for me to not worry about other peoples opinions of me now being quite a different person from before, hopefully time will be the healer.

[SimonaRich]

Past is past, you cannot change it. So there is no need to regret what you did because you are just making yourself feel worse off.

If you keep thinking about what mistakes you made, you will not be able to progress and experience better life.

You should only try to think positively and accept what kind of person you were and what kind of person you currently are. By acceptance you will be able to change much quicker into a person you want to become.