the laid-off emotional support group

[funchy]

After 5 years of work and never a reprimand, I came into work on Friday to get bad news. At 4:50pm the boss' daughter sits down next to me to say "bad news, things are tough, you're no longer needed". What, you're giving me 5 minutes notice that I no longer have a job?! After some grumbling she said I could work out the the following week if I "needed to", which I will. As of Friday I have zero income or prospects.

It's goodbye without even so much as a thank you. The boss is in the Bahamas for the next month and doesn't have time to talk to me or to say goodbye. This is the same boss who just put a big-screen tv in his office last week & ordered a new Camaro, but he's rarely in since buying that place in the Bahamas. (Yes, I feel a bit resentful of it being flaunted in everyone's face)

It's disappointing to be completely honest & hard working for years and to be let go so casually. This isn't a big corporation, it's a business so small it's like family. I've never taken a sick day, never shown up late, never stolen, never caused trouble, and never cussed anyone out. His clients loved me. One expressed sincere regret to boss' daughter when she ran around the building Monday morning to tell all the tenants before I got there. She didn't care.


So I guess I need a little moral support. Why be a good worker when I'm so disposable?

They cut everyone else's hours in half, too. Except of course for boss' daughter who is now full-time. She just had a home custom built for her by dad, and now she needs money to pay for the things she wants.

I know other people are losing their job. I know I'm just one of many. It could be worse. I keep trying to find the good side of it.

Maybe it's a good thing? It was getting hard working with her, when she kept bringing her infant son in each day and leaving him unattended. I'd go running for her when he was bawling or had his hand inside the copiers' gears. This is a professional office building. I had to keep apologizing to tenants and clients for the playpen blocking the copier or all the noise (crying) in the phone. But when the baby wasn't in, I loved the job and the tenants and most of my coworkers. I will miss them!

It sucks to be laid off about working hard and being reliable. Help-wanted ads in my local paper literally number four full-time. I am not going to starve, but I am feeling displaced and unwanted.

Any words of wisdom to keep from getting discouraged?

Anyone else want to share their stories of recent job loss?

Is anyone recently laid-off here... if so, how do you keep yourself occupied? The sudden surplus of free time is going to be hard to adjust to. There aren't even jobs to apply for, so what do I do with myself? (luckily I am back in school so that's something)


Thanks for listening.

[Starman]

Originally Posted by funchy

After 5 years of work and never a reprimand, I came into work on Friday to get bad news. At 4:50pm the boss' daughter sits down next to me to say "bad news, things are tough, you're no longer needed". What, you're giving me 5 minutes notice that I no longer have a job?! After some grumbling she said I could work out the the following week if I "needed to", which I will. As of Friday I have zero income or prospects.

It's goodbye without even so much as a thank you. The boss is in the Bahamas for the next month and doesn't have time to talk to me or to say goodbye. This is the same boss who just put a big-screen tv in his office last week & ordered a new Camaro, but he's rarely in since buying that place in the Bahamas. (Yes, I feel a bit resentful of it being flaunted in everyone's face)

It's disappointing to be completely honest & hard working for years and to be let go so casually. This isn't a big corporation, it's a business so small it's like family. I've never taken a sick day, never shown up late, never stolen, never caused trouble, and never cussed anyone out. His clients loved me. One expressed sincere regret to boss' daughter when she ran around the building Monday morning to tell all the tenants before I got there. She didn't care.


So I guess I need a little moral support. Why be a good worker when I'm so disposable?

They cut everyone else's hours in half, too. Except of course for boss' daughter who is now full-time. She just had a home custom built for her by dad, and now she needs money to pay for the things she wants.

I know other people are losing their job. I know I'm just one of many. It could be worse. I keep trying to find the good side of it.

Maybe it's a good thing? It was getting hard working with her, when she kept bringing her infant son in each day and leaving him unattended. I'd go running for her when he was bawling or had his hand inside the copiers' gears. This is a professional office building. I had to keep apologizing to tenants and clients for the playpen blocking the copier or all the noise (crying) in the phone. But when the baby wasn't in, I loved the job and the tenants and most of my coworkers. I will miss them!

It sucks to be laid off about working hard and being reliable. Help-wanted ads in my local paper literally number four full-time. I am not going to starve, but I am feeling displaced and unwanted.

Any words of wisdom to keep from getting discouraged?

Anyone else want to share their stories of recent job loss?

Is anyone recently laid-off here... if so, how do you keep yourself occupied? The sudden surplus of free time is going to be hard to adjust to. There aren't even jobs to apply for, so what do I do with myself? (luckily I am back in school so that's something)


Thanks for listening.

I'm sorry about your situation. I don't know about you, but I understand being laid-off; what I don't understand is the cold way in which it's done, and the total lack of respect given by an employer - one that you've been loyal and good to for a long time.

I've been in this situation a few times, so I know what you're saying. This cold treatment is status Quo, but don't ask me to explain it, because it's completely stupid, unjustified and doesn't make any sense at all.

This is my take on what this (the way employers treat good employees who they don't need anymore) means:

We live in a world full of colorful commercials and dressed-up products in pretty boxes, and clients and service providers that pay great lip service to each other, but at the end of the day in the business world, money is the only thing that means anything.

Business in America is a cold-blooded monster dressed up in a pretty outfit. While you're employed by this monster, everything may look nice, but beware. This monster has no morals, ethics, or any sense of respect or dignity what so ever. It has no sense of obligation, moral or otherwise, and has no problem destroying your family with a big smile on its face.

This means that it's meaningless. Your life, your family, love - live for these things, and use the monster for the only thing it's good for: money for buying toilet paper and other such meaningless commodities.

A few months ago my company laid off fourty empolyees in like manner, then another forty a month later, then fifty, and last weekend another forty. By some miricle I'm still there, but I've been through this enough times to know it doesn't mean anything, other than I'm lucky.

So don't take the disrespectful treatment personally. A cold-blooded monster doesn't know any better.

[fellowtraveler]

The modern art of The Boot has a purpose: if there's a method in place and it's followed every time, it provides a layer of emotional protection for those who have to do The Booting. Your case is different from mine because it was a small business and so there is more personal accountability for the Booters. I'm sure the daughter was handsomely rewarded for doing her Dad's dirty work.

In my case I had admittedly screwed up a job months previous and so gave them ammo for what came in November. They spent the intervening time collecting data on mistakes which are/were common, but which under these circumstances could be used as an excuse to reduce their payroll. I was there 19 years - most of them loved me as a person but several of the upper automatons love no one. They knew I had a partially-disabled son I was/am supporting. But if they allow the machine to take out the trash, they can feel it's out of their hands.

I'd been there longer than any of the supervisors. One I'd worked for and with for 15 years, the one who should have booted me, delegated it to a kid half my age. He was almost in tears - I'm sure it was like firing his own father. I'm not sure if the fact that I smiled during the whole booting helped or hurt him; I didn't really pay much attention to what he was saying.

The only humiliating thing was that they give you 30 minutes to pack almost 20 years of stuff and get out. I took 10. You are already locked out of your computer. You turn in your company cell phone and lose all the numbers. You have no access to any work in progress. Done. Fini. Over and out. I took two small boxes. ♥♥♥♥♥ it, let them clean up the mess.

Thing is, in my case this is what I manifested. The place had sucked the life out of me. I had begun a spiritual journey a year before and simply wasn't interested in the job - it had never suited me, really. Catch is, the pay and benefits were too good to let go voluntarily, so it had to happen this way. I get unemployment - they let 6 others go the same day, so would have had a hard time justifying denying me state unemployment money. The lack of health insurance is bothersome at 59, but I have faith.

I've never been happier or more excited. I've entered a brand new phase in my life; the home stretch, no doubt...one last chance to get it right. I don't know what comes next, and that's the way I like it.

Sounds trite, but every door closes, another opens. The fatass boss and his halfwit daughter will be subject to the laws of kharma, make no mistake. But you won't have time to worry about them, because you'll be staying mindful and alert, watching for synchronicities and hints and opportunities that will absolutely be presented to you. No worries.

[Infinite]

Originally Posted by Starman

but at the end of the day in the business world, money is the only thing that means anything.

Business in America is a cold-blooded monster dressed up in a pretty outfit. While you're employed by this monster, everything may look nice, but beware. This monster has no morals, ethics, or any sense of respect or dignity what so ever. It has no sense of obligation, moral or otherwise, and has no problem destroying your family with a big smile on its face.

This is so true Starman. I used to work for a small company and similar things happenned on a daily basis. There was this one guy who was the first employee of the company. The guy made lots of sacrifices for the company. This is a family man and had to forgo paychecks in the beginning in order to help the company make it. You know what happened to him. One day he came to work and was let go, just like that. I was also laid off from that same company. I sacrificed a lot for this company.I used to work at least 10 hours and sometimes on weekends. I worked more than 16 hours several times. You can't bang your girlfriend or have a good night sleep without your freaking pager going off. When it's come to business you are used, all that count in their eyes is money.

OP: my advice to you is don't let this phase you at all. I know it's not easy to accept but move on there are great things for you to do. Look yourself in the mirror and know that you are better than you were yesterday. This is an opportunity for growth. While you are looking for another job fill your time with reading and learning new things. Cut down on your expenses too if you need to. Do your best to find a job match for what you want to do in your life, I believe that we have more abilities and capacities than we give ourselves credit for.

Since being laid off from that job, I learned that in business you get used or you use them. This a sad reality but it's the truth. Common sense seems to be unwelcome nowadays in business. What I do now is any company that work in is I learn as much as I can about the job and the people. I refine my skills and know that at any time the door can be shown to you. One of the best advice I receive was this: TO MAKE IT IN THE BUSINESS WORLD YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOURSELF IRREPLACEABLE. PREPARE AND PLAN THOROUGHLY AND ALWAYS HAVE CONTINGENCY PLAN.

Good Luck and God bless,

--Infinite

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I'm so sorry, funchy. The situation stinks! I haven't been in your particular spot, but just this morining on the radio I heard about a thing they're doing (in the spirit of Obama) to get people to volunteer and do good in their communities. They were talking about if you're laid off, go out there and volunteer. You'll be doing good, it will help you feel better and you may find a passion for something you never knew existed. You can also make lots of contacts that may help you find another job.

[lifetimelearner]

so sorry to hear that funchy
lack of compassion and greed is running rampant and people are looking out for themselves




I lost my job over 3 months ago and I am still out of work

the news last night about more lay-offs is getting hard to hear


I wish you luck

[rawxstasy]

Funchy,

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. It's difficult when you've given so much for the company and they turn around let you go. I wrote you a long post yesterday and lost it before I could post it. Fellowtraveler said almost the same things I did! The boss and his daughter will recieve their karma. I have seen karma work first hand. I know it exists. I was also going to say when one door closes another opens. I haven't been laid off but I can tell you a difficult situation that I went through.

I was in my first semester of nursing school in 2006 and I was sexually assaulted. I missed a week of school and it was too difficult to catch up - I also still had the emotional trauma to deal with and I ended up failing one of my classes. So I was put on a "waiting list" for 1.5 years while I watched my classmates continue on. I was really angry and upset that something that someone else did to me had caused so much disruption in my life. During my time off from nursing school, I worked on getting my life back together and did alot of therapy which I really needed to do but had been avoiding. Finally January of last year I got my spot back in nursing school and was able to retake the class which I passed. The new campus I am on is so much more supportive and better for me in so many ways. Now I see it was better for me to have that time off to resolve alot of chaos that had been going on in my life. I will be graduating at the end of this year.

Try to let go of your anger. There are many in your situation. Since you have alot of free time, why not volunteer at an organization you feel passionate about?

Everything happens for a reason. You will be rewarded for your hard work and loyalty.

[RT Wolf]

I would like to humbly suggest a few things:

Write about what happened and what's bothering you. However, i suggest you try to figure it out instead of simply writing down how you're feeling (though you may need to do that a few times). "I understand now" or "I get it" or so forth rather than "i'm angry and resentful". You'll feel better and you'll be healthier.

Second, I would suggest you use this opportunity to raise your awareness and ask big questions, like why is your sense of self so tied to your work identity that you feel lost without it? Why do you expect others to show loyalty to you? Why do you feel bad because of how other people treat you (7 Habits of Highly Effective People may help)? Could you carry your own weather? Some here seem to be regretting having spent extra time on work stuff...why? Why did you make work more important than the other parts of your life? Do you have other parts of your life that you would rather be doing than working (hobby, someone special you want to spend a lot of time with, interests, etc)? Did you really like your jobs? Do you really enjoy your career? Are you in it for a specific reason or just cause you need to pay the bills? If you're just doing it for money, then are there better ways to make that money? When you're working, do you have goals or are you just trying to tread water? Do you want to earn more money, have a different position, be respected or want to become the best? If you make yourself irreplaceable, does htat limit your growth potential? Do you have savings? In what shape are your finances? do you have long term financial goals tied to your career goals?

If I may, I'd like to throw out some book titles, too:
7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Not being work-centered or people-centered, but principled-centered
4-Hour Workweek - Different attitudes towards work and making money
Your Money or Your Life - a new look at the attitudes towards work in North America (they're based on the Puritan work ethic idea that work will save us, secularized in the great depression and they're slightly pathological), among other things. Best personal finance book I've ever read. you can compute how much money you ACTUALLY make after you've accounted for all the different real costs of your job. One example saved more money by going from full time to part time for less money, but closer to his home.
What Color is Your Parachute - probably the best guide on job hunting and career decisions I've read.

You can get all the above books at the public library for free, in case you're feeling tight for cash.

[funchy]

Today was the last day. As of 5pm, I am now just another statistic.

They threw me a going away party of sorts which was nice. A few people went out of their way to wish me well, give me a hug, or write me a nice card.

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I do appreciate it.

[quote]I would suggest you use this opportunity to raise your awareness and ask big questions, like why is your sense of self so tied to your work identity that you feel lost without it?... Why did you make work more important than the other parts of your life? Do you have other parts of your life that you would rather be doing than working (hobby, someone special you want to spend a lot of time with, interests, etc)? Did you really like your jobs? Do you really enjoy your career? Are you in it for a specific reason or just cause you need to pay the bills?...[/quoted]

I loved the job, and the people I worked around were like family to me. I'm not losing a paycheck, I'm losing time with friendly people and their interesting banter. I feel like I am being kicked out of a family. I know that isn't really true, but if you spend 5 years every day with the same few people you begin to feel like it's a second home. The paycheck was the bottom of my reasons for being there.

There's another problem. I'm really involved with a non-profit at which I serve [unpaid] as executive director. The loss of my paying job means on lean months at the nonprofit, I can't help out those in need at the organization. The work this organization does is part of my true passion in life. Seeing the nonprofit slowly sinking in this bad economy is very painful to me, and without a paycheck there's not a darn thing I can do about it.