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Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT

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Old 01-20-2009, 07:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Getting in line with your higher self.

What do you do when you know you're happiest when you pursue your goals and see results, but you fall off the wagon and consciously self sabotage?

I'm not sure how to get myself out of this rut.
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Old 01-20-2009, 08:24 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Do you feel you don't deserve happiness/success/health? Find the root of the problem and resolve it rather than looking at the symptoms of 'it's another rut'.
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Old 01-21-2009, 03:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Consciously I do. I feel I deserve what's coming my way.

I deserve to lose those last 4 kg. I deserve to get an overall 9 at school. I deserve to go to Oxford. I deserve to have a social life.

Subconsciously though, my behaviour is more in line with

I deserve to binge eat and stay at 54kg. I deserve to procrastinate and show little effort. I deserve to throw away my offer to go to Oxford. I don't deserve any friends.

I guess I'm in, conscious incompetence? How do I get to conscious competence?
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Old 01-21-2009, 03:26 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Get to the root of it. EFT has helped me get to the emotional root. There are other means to help you identify the source but it is essential that you do that in order to extricate yourself from that self-sabotage.

Ask yourself the obvious question first. Could one or both of your parents intentionally or inadvertantly put the suggestion into your mind that you don't deserve these things that you desire? Did the community you grew up in belittle you out of jealousy?

Follow your first instinct, even if reason tells you otherwise. It is caught in your subconscious or unconscious and can be unavailable to the reasoning mind.
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Old 01-21-2009, 12:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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For me, going back to my wheel of life, reading my life plan, my areas of improvement (Tony Robbins concept), my core values, or how my "Six Human Needs" are being met (another TR concept), helps me a lot to focus and find whatever is blocking my path.

Surely you have a similar concept in your life (maybe David Allen's?). If not, I suggest you research a bit on this, as I'm sure it will help you shed some light on your issue.

Just my 2 cents.

- Ivan
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Old 01-21-2009, 05:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
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You probably still have some kind of limiting belief about your ability to succeed.

I find it easiest just to override such beliefs by introducing opposite affirmations. So if you find that you constantly fail to accomplish goals, you can just repeat that you always achieve your goals.

I hope that will help you.
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Old 01-21-2009, 11:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LMVector View Post
What do you do when you know you're happiest when you pursue your goals and see results, but you fall off the wagon and consciously self sabotage?

I'm not sure how to get myself out of this rut.
keep going.. keep moving..start over.
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Old 01-21-2009, 11:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
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It's an illusion to think you are not already in line with your higher self. It is always your center.
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Old 01-22-2009, 03:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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My environment pushes me to do better, I have my family's unconditional support, I guess I just need a little bit more resistence. I've been doing better these past two days, I've stuck to my targets. I feel pretty good.

NexusOfCompletion, can you expand? I don't get it. How can I be unhappy and be aligned with my higher self?
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Old 01-22-2009, 10:40 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LMVector View Post
What do you do when you know you're happiest when you pursue your goals and see results, but you fall off the wagon and consciously self sabotage?

I'm not sure how to get myself out of this rut.
Forgive those who hurt you, but most important, forgive yourself, so you stop punishing yourself.
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:48 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LMVector View Post
NexusOfCompletion, can you expand? I don't get it. How can I be unhappy and be aligned with my higher self?
Your highest self is the moment. Just because you feel unhappy doesn't mean you are not aligned with your higher self. In fact, there is no higher lower in between middle upside down around self. There is only one. You are not your reactionary self, this is the root of your depression. You tell yourself you are unhappy and that it is wrong to be unhappy. You are a feeling. Just because it may feel as if it is bad, it doesn't mean its any less than what you are. Now is one of those defining moments in your life where you either sink or swim. Look at yourself, do not avert your gaze, hold nothing back, confront your self with all of your courage. This is not the average mans courage, this is the kind that allows yourself to honestly see things as they really are. Be strong my friend. Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions.
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Old 02-03-2009, 06:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
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don't call them 'goals'. take a new approach. dream about it. make a vision board. blast your old beliefs out of the water
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