What do you dislike about yourself?

[JE Gonzalez]

Loving yourself is the best thing you can do for your self-esteem, but there are just some things, physical or psychological that just cause trouble. For me, I do not like it how I can be pretty lazy on some days, and physically I've always found my legs too big, but ever since I leaned out, it seems they were just naturally muscular

[smith1012]

Whats there really to dislike? If you were to dislike something, its because you chose to dislike it. I could just be grateful for something that might seem like i'd dislike. I, once, told myself i disliked having negative thoughts. But what are neg thoughts really? They are pretty much there to tell you something, not to harm you. But then agian, maybe it feels like the devil is trying to talk to me. And thats why I conciously decided to not listen to these stupid neg thoughts and just let them pass through my concious. Its not because I dislike the thoughts. Its because it serves no purpose for my growth.
Like what steve says, all it takes is mental discipline. I, finally, have come to grips with that.

[Corey]

Basically I hate my shyness and portionally, my looks.

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by Corey

Basically I hate my shyness and portionally, my looks.

You can change both of them my friend!

[Corey]

Originally Posted by TonyToneTone

You can change both of them my friend!

Perhaps the looks but when it comes to the shyness, its not the simple kind of shyness, its more or less a seemingly extreme case of social anxiety, at times.

[geekchic9]

I just don't think I'm enough. There's no reason for me to think that, but I can't quite shake the feeling that if I do X or accomplish Y, then maybe I'll be enough. Never mind that I've tried that before, and it doesn't work.

What has been helping is doing an exercise in which I imagine the hypothetical situation that would make me enough. Then, I forget the situation and focus on the feeling of being enough. It's helped me begin to realize that I don't really need to do X or accomplish Y to be enough. In fact, just typing that previous sentence helped me see a question that I haven't asked myself yet: Enough of what? And to whom would I be enough? Who are these people I want to please, and why aren't they satisfied?

The answer just hit me: It is to my ego that I am not enough. And if I am enough, I would have no need for my ego, and it would disappear. The fight for being enough is really a fight for my ego's survival. In fact, if I recognize that I am inherently enough, my ego may be destroyed.

What would it look like if my ego were gone? It reminds me of something the Dalai Lama said once, and I paraphrase here: He was told by an admirer, "I want peace." He responded that if the admirer would drop the "I" and thus end the "want", nothing would be left but peace. I love that story. My ego isn't as fond of it, though.

This is more than I intended to write, but I'll post it anyway.

[straysweeper]

Geekchic, you could not have layed out a more clear path for me. I thank you. Very deep.

[geekchic9]

Originally Posted by straysweeper

Geekchic, you could not have layed out a more clear path for me. I thank you. Very deep.

Wow, thanks! I wasn't expecting that sort of response, so I appreciate you a lot for saying that.

How odd. When I help people the most, it's not when I try to help them, but it's when I help myself. Very cool.

[darkw0rker]

I can actually write a complete encyclopedia on this subject, with a great passion.

So where should I start?

I dislike my looks. More specific, my hair, my eyes, my nose, my skin, my smile, my body, my chest, my penis, my ass, almost everywhere except my fingers.

Now let me get psychological. I dislike my extreme shyness, my envious feelings, my hatred of my self and of others, my low self esteem, my brainpower, my virginity, my cowardliness, my anti social behavior, etc.

Not only that, I also dislike my family, my god, my relatives, my life in general, my close friends and my lifestyle.

You might think that my tone was being funny, but let me assure you that I am very serious about my list.

Oh I forgot that I dislike my clinical depression too!

[Starman]

Originally Posted by geekchic9

In fact, just typing that previous sentence helped me see a question that I haven't asked myself yet: Enough of what? And to whom would I be enough? Who are these people I want to please, and why aren't they satisfied?

The answer just hit me: It is to my ego that I am not enough. And if I am enough, I would have no need for my ego, and it would disappear. The fight for being enough is really a fight for my ego's survival. In fact, if I recognize that I am inherently enough, my ego may be destroyed.

Along with straysweeper, I'd like to say, thanks for sharing this terrific insight. For me, there's nothing cooler than a wise and timely question that opens a new understanding, just by asking it.

[ar81]

Originally Posted by JE Gonzalez

Loving yourself is the best thing you can do for your self-esteem, but there are just some things, physical or psychological that just cause trouble. For me, I do not like it how I can be pretty lazy on some days, and physically I've always found my legs too big, but ever since I leaned out, it seems they were just naturally muscular

If you are chinese, you can't pretend to look like a russian. If you are black, you can't pretend to look like a white. If you are tall, you can't pretend to be short.

Genetics determined a certain physical condition. Why should you compare with a standard that you saw on TV? Even top models are being photoshoped sometimes before having their photos printed.

What you see in printed material or TV sometimes is a cartoon of reality.

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by Corey

Perhaps the looks but when it comes to the shyness, its not the simple kind of shyness, its more or less a seemingly extreme case of social anxiety, at times.

Believe it or not, I use to have the same problem. Just start VERY slow. Nod hello to random people, then walk by and smile at strangers, then maybe ask for something small from others "Can you hand me that book?". And so on. Because socially skilled is a skill just like any other and you get better at it with practice.

[Corey]

Originally Posted by TonyToneTone

Believe it or not, I use to have the same problem. Just start VERY slow. Nod hello to random people, then walk by and smile at strangers, then maybe ask for something small from others "Can you hand me that book?". And so on. Because socially skilled is a skill just like any other and you get better at it with practice.

Oh, I'm alright with that but I mean with girls......considering that I haven't been in a ****in relationship in almost two years...

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by Corey

Oh, I'm alright with that but I mean with girls......considering that I haven't been in a ****in relationship in almost two years...

Oh, that's even easier.

Just practice! Get a good script for approaching (I personally prefer Paul Janka's method Paul Janka - Getting Laid in NYC - read here.. - PUA Reviews and Ratings) and get to work. It's VERY easy once you get good at it.

Relationships! | Tony Tells All

[Neal2009]

Its funny cus it's not my weakness I hate. Its my lack of courage to deal with them (i guess you could call that a weakness too but thats beside the point) I have massive lips, im short and dogs bark anytime im around (i know it sounds mad but there is something about my scent they really dont like)

but like i said these are the things i have issue with. Its the fact i just dont have the courage to do anything about my life or my problems that I hate. My life would be perfect if just had the courage to face my fears aand do something about them

Maybe one day

[Corey]

Originally Posted by TonyToneTone

Oh, that's even easier.

Just practice! Get a good script for approaching (I personally prefer Paul Janka's method Paul Janka - Getting Laid in NYC - read here.. - PUA Reviews and Ratings) and get to work. It's VERY easy once you get good at it.

Relationships! | Tony Tells All

Your link (amongst many others) didn't work for my comp.

The other one looks good (looking at it, long read) but I seriously have this barrier like fear for asking for numbers or esculating things (sexually) seeing as I dun want it to come off as awkward or inappropriate.

I have a couple examples of this "barrier" thats kept me from going through with asking.

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by Corey

Your link (amongst many others) didn't work for my comp.

The other one looks good (looking at it, long read) but I seriously have this barrier like fear for asking for numbers or esculating things (sexually) seeing as I dun want it to come off as awkward or inappropriate.

I have a couple examples of this "barrier" thats kept me from going through with asking.

but I seriously have this barrier like fear for asking for numbers or esculating things (sexually) seeing as I dun want it to come off as awkward or inappropriate.

Start asking yourself the serious questions. Is it really inappropriate for you to ask a girl for her number? Why would it be awkward? Don't millions of people do it all the time? And more. Start questioning your beliefs. Whatever works keep, discard all the rest.

[Dan.Linehan]

Not body-buildery enough. I feel like I should put on about 20-30 pounds.

[gluey]

i'm skinny

[Majesticzero]

- That I'm not social enough:
I have a problem learning new people. I find it very difficult to talk to strangers. I hope I can change this by just 'trying' and saying what I think. But to start this, is really difficult.

- My skin doesn't look good:
My skin is all bumpy and on some places lighter than on other places. it sometimes is reddisch (in the face). I hope I can change this by sleeping more and eating less meat.

[funnyav]

Majesticzero: You sound like my best friend. We're in holland too lol.


Me:

1. Acne. Eat less crap.
2. Social. Smile more.
3. Vibrational. See above.

[dulaney0330]

Physical: my nose
Personality: lack of confidence

[Amandaaa]

I donnnnnnn't really like my body right now.... but I know that I have the power to change it, so I don't go around thinking, "I hate my body!!!"

[dice]

focusing on petty things, being distracted by small urgencies, how drawn i am to spend so much time fussing with technology, computers, online networking, facebook, instant messaging...instead of phone calls, or face time, or living in the real, raw world.

it's deeply upsetting, and circular.

[Remorse]

What I dislike:

Lack of Confidence
Self Doubt
Laziness
Knowing that I was so accomplished and unawakened/sure just 2 years ago
My inability to control my emotions with my family
Being so aware of my ugliness, that the only time I can remember being happy at a party or get together was 2 years ago.
Having got to age 18 and not knowing what I want to do, and anything that I do want I have to have already been doing.
Knowing that I've wasted the best years of my life.
Knowing that everything was my fault.
Not having good self-control anymore.
Being... me.

[blaerG]

i don't like the fact i'm two people in one body.