problem with some of the things i read here

[codesmith]

I find you guys are paying way too much attention on your emotions. As long as you understand emotions come and go then you should be fine, without over analysing them too much. Infact you should pay no attention to emotions whatsoever, you should just watch them come and pass by.

You can use it as a tool, like a compass if you wish, but that should be all.

When you start to pay attention to emotions too much, you start stressing and you end up on forums such as these.


I have a cancer that will eventually see my demise, i started off stressing over it, letting emotions take over but recently i have just decided to face reality, judge things for what they are. As long as i pay attention to reality, not the emotional side of it, then i feel much better. I accept my situation more, i feel happier, and i can most of all function like a normal human being again.

Main thing is to be rational not emotional.

[jtracy]

I think you're right that most of us identify with our emotions far too much. That's why we say things like "I am sad". We don't realize how fleeting emotions are (since we associate them with the event and keep reminding ourselves of that), nor do we stop and think about where they really come from. We just blame others or the situation for them, and then judge ourselves, and stress out, for having them. It usually takes a crisis, such as getting cancer, that makes us realize our self-deceptions. I'm glad you have learned to just accept your situation. That's something we all need to do. Best of luck to you.

[magi13]

Originally Posted by codesmith

I find you guys are paying way too much attention on your emotions. As long as you understand emotions come and go then you should be fine, without over analysing them too much. Infact you should pay no attention to emotions whatsoever, you should just watch them come and pass by.

You can use it as a tool, like a compass if you wish, but that should be all.

When you start to pay attention to emotions too much, you start stressing and you end up on forums such as these.


I have a cancer that will eventually see my demise, i started off stressing over it, letting emotions take over but recently i have just decided to face reality, judge things for what they are. As long as i pay attention to reality, not the emotional side of it, then i feel much better. I accept my situation more, i feel happier, and i can most of all function like a normal human being again.

Main thing is to be rational not emotional.

Everyone deals with things differently. ^_^ There must be a balance between rational and emotional.^^

[eruso]

On the topic of cancer, have you considered going raw?

And I agree about emotions -- if you focus on them too much you'll take less action. Sometimes you have to tough it out and know that emotions are momentary and not to get discouraged.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by codesmith

Infact you should pay no attention to emotions whatsoever, you should just watch them come and pass by.

Codesmith, I'm so sorry for your illness, and I am sending you lots of green vitality vibration.

And I'd just like to say No, thanks, to your *shoulds*. They just don't work for me. I appreciate your wanting to share your insights, though.

I hope you feel well.

Lots of love,
Angela

[codesmith]

this might sound sexist but, so put a little effort into understanding what i am saying, it could get interesting:

1. do you believe during our primitive past males were the ones predominantly innovating such as making tools, finding better ways to farm, hunt, and cook? (i like watching evolution docos)

2. if you agreed, then do you believe males evolved a little quicker than females due to their use of brains?

3. if agreed, then at the present moment do you think males are more rational than women? by this i mean women rely more on emotions where as men are more logical?

so if men have evolved quicker, (if points 1 and 2 agreed) - and men are more logical in thought than women, then wouldnt you say being logical is the next step in evolution for all of mankind; in a sense women are catching up?

i see evidence of this in our society - where women are catching up (evolving) up to men: we are finding more women in mens jobs these days, woman are excelling in mathematics and science far better than males these days. and the old attitude from men towards women, that women belong in the kitchen, they should look after the kids, women are stupid, blah blah blah ... that is slowly going away too. men are realising women aren't so dumb afterall, they may have been a little slow to understand the rational mode of thinking because they didnt have to in the past, but they are actually rational after all now. heck, in my high school they used to seperate males and females in science and mathematics!!

note i have done very little research, its just a hunch i have. so i am open to discussion and correction. just reply in an orderly manner, dont get caught up in emotion ...

[BlackWigger]

Originally Posted by codesmith

As long as i pay attention to reality, not the emotional side of it, then i feel much better. I accept my situation more, i feel happier, and i can most of all function like a normal human being again.

That's interesting, you're saying you should ignore emotions and use ration, and that as a result you'll be happier. Isn't happiness just another emotion ? You're kinda contradicting yourself.

[Kris Ta Lyn]

There's a difference between emotions and moods. Emotions are fleeting reactions to external events. Moods are prolonged states of mind that are not necessarily dependent on external events. Happiness is obviously a mood.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by codesmith

I find you guys are paying way too much attention on your emotions. As long as you understand emotions come and go then you should be fine, without over analysing them too much. Infact you should pay no attention to emotions whatsoever, you should just watch them come and pass by.

You can use it as a tool, like a compass if you wish, but that should be all.

When you start to pay attention to emotions too much, you start stressing and you end up on forums such as these.


I have a cancer that will eventually see my demise, i started off stressing over it, letting emotions take over but recently i have just decided to face reality, judge things for what they are. As long as i pay attention to reality, not the emotional side of it, then i feel much better. I accept my situation more, i feel happier, and i can most of all function like a normal human being again.

Main thing is to be rational not emotional.

I too am sorry for your illness

but I have to say that without my emotions to guide me I would be robot

[Angela]

Emotions are excellent signposts as to whether or not you're on the right path for yourself. If I find myself taking action, thinking about it rationally and not noticing what I'm feeling, I'm only half-alive.

If my body were to present me with a life-threatening illness, half-alive is not what I'd want to be being. Well, why should I wait till I have a life-threatening illness? Why not choose a state of being fully alive right now? (She asked, rationally. )

[Holistic Star]

Originally Posted by codesmith

this might sound sexist but, so put a little effort into understanding what i am saying, it could get interesting:

1. do you believe during our primitive past males were the ones predominantly innovating such as making tools, finding better ways to farm, hunt, and cook? (i like watching evolution docos)

2. if you agreed, then do you believe males evolved a little quicker than females due to their use of brains?

3. if agreed, then at the present moment do you think males are more rational than women? by this i mean women rely more on emotions where as men are more logical?

so if men have evolved quicker, (if points 1 and 2 agreed) - and men are more logical in thought than women, then wouldnt you say being logical is the next step in evolution for all of mankind; in a sense women are catching up?

i see evidence of this in our society - where women are catching up (evolving) up to men: we are finding more women in mens jobs these days, woman are excelling in mathematics and science far better than males these days. and the old attitude from men towards women, that women belong in the kitchen, they should look after the kids, women are stupid, blah blah blah ... that is slowly going away too. men are realising women aren't so dumb afterall, they may have been a little slow to understand the rational mode of thinking because they didnt have to in the past, but they are actually rational after all now. heck, in my high school they used to seperate males and females in science and mathematics!!

note i have done very little research, its just a hunch i have. so i am open to discussion and correction. just reply in an orderly manner, dont get caught up in emotion ...

Go and read 'A Woman's History of the World' by Roselind Miles - then come and tell me if you think the same.

Amazon.com: The Women's History of the World: Rosalind Miles: Books

[codesmith]

blackwigger: yes i am. but while you are happy dont be so attached to the happiness. i guess the state youre after is neutral.

I think decisions based on emotions come from our primitive form, when we did not have the capacity to think rationally. Just my opinion anyway.

Holisitic Star: maybe you can just give me the gist of the book.

[WordKeeper]

I was interested to read your viewpoint. I find that there is more ruminating in the dark emotion and very little discussion of actual "mastery".

[guitarpilot]

I'd like to know how to turn down my emotions any ideas

[smith1012]

I believe we are so socially conditioned in our lives that its quite difficult to stop letting go of thoughts and emotions from stressing us out. Due to this difficulty we go to forums to find as much answers to our, rather stupid, problems. The more answers we get, the better we feel knowing that there are ways to fix ourselves.

But the simplicity of just accepting stressful thoughts and emotions has finally got through my thick skull. My subconcious is beginning to grasp on the concept or whatever you may call it. Thoughts and emotions arent even who we are. We are just the conciousness within us, nothing more, nothing less. We aren't anything that might appear in our conciousness. We are just the blank conciousness. Anyone agree?

[wolfgang]

men are not more evolved then women. we evolved differently. women have tuned in empathy and such to deal with raising kids and interacting with the tribe at home more than the men. men had to become single minded to hunt better. women are better multitaskers because of being in the home environment more.

the real deal is too much emotion or too much over thinking will drive one nuts.

In other words, let emotions exist and work with them logically. but don't over do the emotions or the logic. one could be a overwhelming drama maker or a boring analyzing robot in the extremes in either direction.

[KeithS]

Originally Posted by codesmith

I find you guys are paying way too much attention on your emotions. As long as you understand emotions come and go then you should be fine, without over analysing them too much. Infact you should pay no attention to emotions whatsoever, you should just watch them come and pass by.

You can use it as a tool, like a compass if you wish, but that should be all.

When you start to pay attention to emotions too much, you start stressing and you end up on forums such as these.


I have a cancer that will eventually see my demise, i started off stressing over it, letting emotions take over but recently i have just decided to face reality, judge things for what they are. As long as i pay attention to reality, not the emotional side of it, then i feel much better. I accept my situation more, i feel happier, and i can most of all function like a normal human being again.

Main thing is to be rational not emotional.

I don't completely disagree with you, I think you just have to find a median.

[Holistic Star]

Originally Posted by codesmith

Holisitic Star: maybe you can just give me the gist of the book.

And there was me with my lesser-evolved brain thinking that your superior-evolved brain could click on the link I provided and read the description on amazon.

But what would silly emotional little-me know?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Holistic Star

And there was me with my lesser-evolved brain thinking that your superior-evolved brain could click on the link I provided and read the description on amazon.

Gee, Holistic Star, that was an awfully logical thought process you had there. You sure you're feeling ok? Maybe it was some kind of hormonal aberration?

[Holistic Star]

You're right Angela, To tell the truth my husband did the thinking for me. He handles all that kind of thing for us both - as he ought to. After all, thinking gives you wrinkles!

But I can't hang around here gossiping all day. I'm off to do the ironing.

[openyourize]

Originally Posted by codesmith

blackwigger: yes i am. but while you are happy dont be so attached to the happiness. i guess the state youre after is neutral.

EEWW!! Neutral?? Why would anyone want to live neutral? Yuck! I know its a whole buddhist thing, detach from happiness and you will suffer no more and what not, but I think suffering is worth dealing with in order to experience happiness. Plus, if you get really good at it, you can experience bliss and happiness and are able to deflect any and all "suffering".

[openyourize]

codesmith....... my dad lives by your theory, that emotions are rather useless and people should rely on rational thought. as a result, he is completely oblivious to the world around him. First of all, because he refuses to pay attention to emotion, that includes love. Even though he will at times try to tell his kids and his wife that he "loves" them, he doesn't really feel it so he is not being sincere. He cannot show it in any way. My dad also feels no guilt or shame. He is an alcoholic, but he is in denial of this. I know he is an alcoholic because he guzzles vodka straight from the bottle when I go to visit him. My dad tries to get money out of his friends and family by trying to convince them they owe him for some reason. He has no emotions about this, so he believes he is right. On top of that, when these people dont pay him this money they supposedly owe him, he becomes very judgmental of them. He also does not hesitate to tell people his opinions of them, and as a result has isolated himself in a world where no one likes him much at all. However in his own mind he is happy as pie in the sky, drunk and believing he is superior to everyone else. And thanks to his disregard for emotion, he never has to deal with the feelings of rejection that everyone is actually feeling about him. How can you be rational with no emotion to indicate? That is what emotions are for. My dad thinks he is being rational because he doesnt pay attention to anything else besides his own opinion of what he believes makes sense.

[cookie5]

Good post! I have always thought I'm very emotional sometimes for the good or bad. I loved your view point. But I don't see me changing but perhaps been more aware of it (emotions) and not to say I don't want to change. Anyhow you made me see things differently. thanks

[codesmith]

Originally Posted by openyourize

codesmith....... my dad lives by your theory, that emotions are rather useless and people should rely on rational thought. as a result, he is completely oblivious to the world around him. First of all, because he refuses to pay attention to emotion, that includes love. Even though he will at times try to tell his kids and his wife that he "loves" them, he doesn't really feel it so he is not being sincere. He cannot show it in any way. My dad also feels no guilt or shame. He is an alcoholic, but he is in denial of this. I know he is an alcoholic because he guzzles vodka straight from the bottle when I go to visit him. My dad tries to get money out of his friends and family by trying to convince them they owe him for some reason. He has no emotions about this, so he believes he is right. On top of that, when these people dont pay him this money they supposedly owe him, he becomes very judgmental of them. He also does not hesitate to tell people his opinions of them, and as a result has isolated himself in a world where no one likes him much at all. However in his own mind he is happy as pie in the sky, drunk and believing he is superior to everyone else. And thanks to his disregard for emotion, he never has to deal with the feelings of rejection that everyone is actually feeling about him. How can you be rational with no emotion to indicate? That is what emotions are for. My dad thinks he is being rational because he doesnt pay attention to anything else besides his own opinion of what he believes makes sense.

asking for unfair outcomes is not rational.

[Eric Roosevelt]

Originally Posted by codesmith

I find you guys are paying way too much attention on your emotions. As long as you understand emotions come and go then you should be fine, without over analysing them too much. Infact you should pay no attention to emotions whatsoever, you should just watch them come and pass by.

That's an interesting proposition, Codesmith. However, I'd like to add that people who focus too much on pure rationality sometimes misunderstand human dynamics. They forget that, while they detach themselves from their feelings, other people are still picking up signals and dealing with their emotions. Just because you don't pay much attention to the emotional aspect doesn't mean that other people aren't. I'm not saying you should drop your paradigm, I'm just saying that this is worth keeping in mind.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by codesmith

I find you guys are paying way too much attention on your emotions. As long as you understand emotions come and go then you should be fine, without over analysing them too much. Infact you should pay no attention to emotions whatsoever, you should just watch them come and pass by.

You can use it as a tool, like a compass if you wish, but that should be all.

When you start to pay attention to emotions too much, you start stressing and you end up on forums such as these.


I have a cancer that will eventually see my demise, i started off stressing over it, letting emotions take over but recently i have just decided to face reality, judge things for what they are. As long as i pay attention to reality, not the emotional side of it, then i feel much better. I accept my situation more, i feel happier, and i can most of all function like a normal human being again.

Main thing is to be rational not emotional.

rationality is for Spock
and emotions are for Captain Kirk
we need both to keep from being taken over by 'evil 'forces (a metaphor )
yeh I am a Star Trek fan



MOST emotions are responses to your perceptions
your perceptions evolve from your rationality

-they are neither good or bad -

respond truthfully to a situation and your emotions will help you see more clearly

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by openyourize

codesmith....... my dad lives by your theory, that emotions are rather useless and people should rely on rational thought. as a result, he is completely oblivious to the world around him. First of all, because he refuses to pay attention to emotion, that includes love. Even though he will at times try to tell his kids and his wife that he "loves" them, he doesn't really feel it so he is not being sincere. He cannot show it in any way. My dad also feels no guilt or shame. He is an alcoholic, but he is in denial of this. I know he is an alcoholic because he guzzles vodka straight from the bottle when I go to visit him. My dad tries to get money out of his friends and family by trying to convince them they owe him for some reason. He has no emotions about this, so he believes he is right. On top of that, when these people dont pay him this money they supposedly owe him, he becomes very judgmental of them. He also does not hesitate to tell people his opinions of them, and as a result has isolated himself in a world where no one likes him much at all. However in his own mind he is happy as pie in the sky, drunk and believing he is superior to everyone else. And thanks to his disregard for emotion, he never has to deal with the feelings of rejection that everyone is actually feeling about him. How can you be rational with no emotion to indicate? That is what emotions are for. My dad thinks he is being rational because he doesnt pay attention to anything else besides his own opinion of what he believes makes sense.

that's very sad
sorry

[wolfgang]

all emotions are to be felt fully to be able to let them pass
detachment from emotions is not what Buddhist are trying to do, they try to feel all they can actually. they have practices that actually bring the emotions into full awareness so they can process them. Not feeling emotions causes them to stick around and become unconscious and become like unknown stress to your body. And some day they come up out of proportion to reality because they have been suppressed for so long. The best approach is to engage emotions with your consciousness as soon as you can feel them show - this can defuse the drama and allows the emotion it's proper space. It's great to feel. It's easy to feel and also be conscious rationally at the same time. the difficulty is being addicted to feelings and having no access to rational thought about what you are feeling. (but too much thinking things over is another way to get out of balance) people can be addicted to "bad" feelings just as much as "good" ones. Depressed people are addicted to sadness, perhaps. And then instead of being able to let an emotion run a coarse it becomes something to try to keep around and chase. However the solution isn't to kind of ignore feelings, or pretend that you are above them or detached from them. One must engage what ever feelings they have to work through them, but not to be all dramatic about it.

[blossom]

To only be rational and ignore the emotional side of our natures...isn't that pretty imbalanced?

I can understand you feeling that you need to stay rational, as the feelings associated with dying from cancer, would be pretty overwhelming, I'd imagine, and probably very uncomfortable for a male who has been conditioned to not feel his feelings! That's where us women are lucky...we haven't been conditioned to view our emotional world as something bothersome that just gets in the way of "reality"...so we actually VALUE our emotional processes as more than merely what you dismissed them as! Maybe it's just easier to write them off and denigrate women to a position of inferiority, than it is to let yourself FEEL! That might make everything much simpler in your world...but that ISN'T reality, sorry to break it to you...it's merely your OPPINION! It's a fact that human beings would rather die than admit that they are WRONG, if it makes their life easier!

Emotions are very important guides to help us all in life, and I feel sorry for men who have been denied this.

I am also like Angela, and do not appreciate being told I "should" do anything, so I respectfully decline your invitation to start operating purely from a rational place...I'm not a robot, I'm a human being!

Do what works for you, but it isn't your place to impose your oppinion as being what works for everyone...that's just arrogant!

[Gracestars]

Originally Posted by codesmith

this might sound sexist but, so put a little effort into understanding what i am saying, it could get interesting:

1. do you believe during our primitive past males were the ones predominantly innovating such as making tools, finding better ways to farm, hunt, and cook? (i like watching evolution docos)

2. if you agreed, then do you believe males evolved a little quicker than females due to their use of brains?

3. if agreed, then at the present moment do you think males are more rational than women? by this i mean women rely more on emotions where as men are more logical?

so if men have evolved quicker, (if points 1 and 2 agreed) - and men are more logical in thought than women, then wouldnt you say being logical is the next step in evolution for all of mankind; in a sense women are catching up?

i see evidence of this in our society - where women are catching up (evolving) up to men: we are finding more women in mens jobs these days, woman are excelling in mathematics and science far better than males these days. and the old attitude from men towards women, that women belong in the kitchen, they should look after the kids, women are stupid, blah blah blah ... that is slowly going away too. men are realising women aren't so dumb afterall, they may have been a little slow to understand the rational mode of thinking because they didnt have to in the past, but they are actually rational after all now. heck, in my high school they used to seperate males and females in science and mathematics!!

note i have done very little research, its just a hunch i have. so i am open to discussion and correction. just reply in an orderly manner, dont get caught up in emotion ...

cool...just met my first caveman...