How my parents messed me up--(but really this is just about my semi-alcoholism)

[Jamous]

I got a message saying I should post something because I haven't yet. It said, "Break the ice by telling us how you found this place, what your interests are, and how your parents messed you up." I thought that was funny so now I'm posting a thread to (1) introduce myself but also ALSO to (2) get some help on something related to well my emotions, or 'emotional mastery.'

so 1...
Hi! I'm Jamous!

and 2...
ok, well, I have a small mental addiction to alcohol. I tend to drink too much when I drink, and I drink too often. I have to try pretty hard not to drink at night, but I know I need to stop drinking so much.
Here is my problem: Any replacements I've come up with for drinking (exercising, cooking, playing music, reading) are for one not as fun as drinking, and two feel too healthy. A part of why I like drinking is that it makes me feel a little bad... but also really inspired.. maybe stupidly inspired. And I love that.
I kind of would like to take up another drug, but they are too expensive and often a little worse for me health wise than I want. Though I'd be open to ideas.
I really just can't replace alcohol with anything healthy, because that takes the fun out of it and I just go back to drinking.
What should I do?

[dhg]

Hi there! :-D

Originally Posted by Jamous

Here is my problem: Any replacements I've come up with for drinking (exercising, cooking, playing music, reading) are for one not as fun as drinking, and two feel too healthy. A part of why I like drinking is that it makes me feel a little bad... but also really inspired.. maybe stupidly inspired. And I love that.

So basically you're saying that you on one hand like drinking, but on the other hand know that it is bad for you. You like something that is bad for you. Why is that, do you think?

Realize that whatever alcohol does for you, is already there. You don't really need to drink to get it. This is something I've been struggling with as well. Drinking just feels so good sometimes. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it lowers consciousness, making everything feel OK.

Maybe you could try not drinking for 30 days, and see how it makes you feel?

[ladee]

I am a recovering alcoholic, who at one time , felt like you do now.If you are already aware of the consequences, then do something about it.There are millions of ways to have"fun" if that is your major objective. If not, then get ready to experience a hell you never imagined. After awhile, there is not "fun", just the need for another drink. But no one has ever been scared into getting sober, so I pray you do not die before you realize how serious this is. Drinking is not about how GOOD we feel, as much as medicating the feelings we want to avoid. And fyi, there is no such thing as a semi-alcholic. No more that there is a woman who is semi-pregnant. Just some things for you to think about.

[Stephen]

Originally Posted by Jamous

I got a message saying I should post something because I haven't yet. It said, "Break the ice by telling us how you found this place, what your interests are, and how your parents messed you up." I thought that was funny so now I'm posting a thread to (1) introduce myself but also ALSO to (2) get some help on something related to well my emotions, or 'emotional mastery.'

so 1...
Hi! I'm Jamous!

and 2...
ok, well, I have a small mental addiction to alcohol. I tend to drink too much when I drink, and I drink too often. I have to try pretty hard not to drink at night, but I know I need to stop drinking so much.
Here is my problem: Any replacements I've come up with for drinking (exercising, cooking, playing music, reading) are for one not as fun as drinking, and two feel too healthy. A part of why I like drinking is that it makes me feel a little bad... but also really inspired.. maybe stupidly inspired. And I love that.
I kind of would like to take up another drug, but they are too expensive and often a little worse for me health wise than I want. Though I'd be open to ideas.
I really just can't replace alcohol with anything healthy, because that takes the fun out of it and I just go back to drinking.
What should I do?

Read this thread

Alcohol

Just do it.

Stop making excuses.

Good luck/

[bluedragon]

I have found out a lot of things about dealing with alcohol while dealing with my own mental addiction to it. It was never serious, but there are times when I just can't convince myself that it is better not to drink, especially since I am in great shape and one or two drinks do not affect my health significantly.
What I do, in a nutshell:
1) I do MANY things that can somehow replace it:

• I take a shower
• I drink Saint John's Wort tea or other tea that fights depression/sadness and heals the liver
• I do fitness exercises, especially heavy weights or pull-ups
• I drink fruit juice
• I listen to music

2) I do those BEFORE I start feeling the need to drink alcohol (If I am in that state, I can't honestly state that it is better not to drink - I think alcohol helps relax, and relaxation is very important and it contributes to health significantly)
3) I slow down, whatever I am doing, and concentrate on the details - this makes me enjoy what I'm doing more and it's one of the things you totally miss out on when you drink.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Jamous

I got a message saying I should post something because I haven't yet. It said, "Break the ice by telling us how you found this place, what your interests are, and how your parents messed you up." I thought that was funny so now I'm posting a thread to (1) introduce myself but also ALSO to (2) get some help on something related to well my emotions, or 'emotional mastery.'

so 1...
Hi! I'm Jamous!

and 2...
ok, well, I have a small mental addiction to alcohol. I tend to drink too much when I drink, and I drink too often. I have to try pretty hard not to drink at night, but I know I need to stop drinking so much.
Here is my problem: Any replacements I've come up with for drinking (exercising, cooking, playing music, reading) are for one not as fun as drinking, and two feel too healthy. A part of why I like drinking is that it makes me feel a little bad... but also really inspired.. maybe stupidly inspired. And I love that.
I kind of would like to take up another drug, but they are too expensive and often a little worse for me health wise than I want. Though I'd be open to ideas.
I really just can't replace alcohol with anything healthy, because that takes the fun out of it and I just go back to drinking.
What should I do?

hi Jamous welcome to the board

I am very sorry to hear about your addiction

I just lost a cousin sunday to alcoholism-he was only 40 years old

it's a tough addiction -but there are drugs that are tougher to detox from

I come from a family that has had numerous alcoholics -so I have been around it more than I care to admit
it's tough -very tough

I will give you my opinion on this matter you may take or leave it
because this is subjective

I feel that this addiction will not loosen it's grip by you trying to control it
or find a replacement feeling for it

you are addicted for a reason

you need to find that reason

something in your life is missing and you are not being true to yourself somehow


if any of this rings true for you I will delve further if not than I tried
peace

[Jamous]

Originally Posted by dhg

Hi there! :-D



So basically you're saying that you on one hand like drinking, but on the other hand know that it is bad for you. You like something that is bad for you. Why is that, do you think?

Realize that whatever alcohol does for you, is already there. You don't really need to drink to get it. This is something I've been struggling with as well. Drinking just feels so good sometimes. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it lowers consciousness, making everything feel OK.

Maybe you could try not drinking for 30 days, and see how it makes you feel?

thanks for the response
I actually am trying to just not drink for a while.. probably not quite 30 days but a couple weeks. But that is a very good point, "whatever alcohol does for you, is already there." I think I just need to find another way to achieve it.

[Jamous]

Originally Posted by bluedragon

I have found out a lot of things about dealing with alcohol while dealing with my own mental addiction to it. It was never serious, but there are times when I just can't convince myself that it is better not to drink, especially since I am in great shape and one or two drinks do not affect my health significantly.
What I do, in a nutshell:
1) I do MANY things that can somehow replace it:

• I take a shower
• I drink Saint John's Wort tea or other tea that fights depression/sadness and heals the liver
• I do fitness exercises, especially heavy weights or pull-ups
• I drink fruit juice
• I listen to music

2) I do those BEFORE I start feeling the need to drink alcohol (If I am in that state, I can't honestly state that it is better not to drink - I think alcohol helps relax, and relaxation is very important and it contributes to health significantly)
3) I slow down, whatever I am doing, and concentrate on the details - this makes me enjoy what I'm doing more and it's one of the things you totally miss out on when you drink.

thank you much for the reply
those are all good suggestions. They are healthy, but they are certainly good things to do. I like the taking a shower idea actually. That tends to take me outside of a situation and get me into a different mode of thinking.

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

hi Jamous welcome to the board

I am very sorry to hear about your addiction

I just lost a cousin sunday to alcoholism-he was only 40 years old

it's a tough addiction -but there are drugs that are tougher to detox from

I come from a family that has had numerous alcoholics -so I have been around it more than I care to admit
it's tough -very tough

I will give you my opinion on this matter you may take or leave it
because this is subjective

I feel that this addiction will not loosen it's grip by you trying to control it
or find a replacement feeling for it

you are addicted for a reason

you need to find that reason

something in your life is missing and you are not being true to yourself somehow


if any of this rings true for you I will delve further if not than I tried
peace

Lifetimelearner: I am so truly sorry for your loss. And I know alcoholism can lead down that road, so that is why I am weary. And thank you for that advice, "you are addicted for a reason/you need to find that reason." I will indeed thnk about that and hopefully figure it out, and soon.

Again, thank you.

[lifetimelearner]

you do not have to thank me just feel better soon

[Lauxa]

Maybe...

You like drinking because it makes you feel guilty. You like to feel guilty because deep down you believe you are not good enough. You can't do something good for you instead because it wouldn't make you feel guilty and reinforce this belief.

The opposite of guilt is gratitude. Be grateful for the drinks, for the taste, for the feeling, for the lessons they are teaching you. If you don't succumb to the guilt the drug might loosen its hold.

[magi13]

Originally Posted by Jamous

I got a message saying I should post something because I haven't yet. It said, "Break the ice by telling us how you found this place, what your interests are, and how your parents messed you up." I thought that was funny so now I'm posting a thread to (1) introduce myself but also ALSO to (2) get some help on something related to well my emotions, or 'emotional mastery.'

so 1...
Hi! I'm Jamous!

and 2...
ok, well, I have a small mental addiction to alcohol. I tend to drink too much when I drink, and I drink too often. I have to try pretty hard not to drink at night, but I know I need to stop drinking so much.
Here is my problem: Any replacements I've come up with for drinking (exercising, cooking, playing music, reading) are for one not as fun as drinking, and two feel too healthy. A part of why I like drinking is that it makes me feel a little bad... but also really inspired.. maybe stupidly inspired. And I love that.
I kind of would like to take up another drug, but they are too expensive and often a little worse for me health wise than I want. Though I'd be open to ideas.
I really just can't replace alcohol with anything healthy, because that takes the fun out of it and I just go back to drinking.
What should I do?

^^, take it one step at a time, little steps and venture on new things. Drinking is not bad if done moderately. You don't have to stop drinking, but if you do it in excess, you have a problem.

You want a daily addiction? Coffee is good. Read novels at a coffee shop. It'll be more relaxing or swim.

Whatever you do, be responsible. :3

[Jamous]

Alot of great suggestions here. Thanks for your help and support, everybody