Fear of revealing too much about myself - Why?

[Sanity Panda]

Hm. Not sure if others have experienced this feeling before. Even if it's part of the introverts nature to keep things to himself.

Right I'm scared of giving too much information away about myself. You could say it's the fear of rejection, except it's not because I'm scared others will reject me for the content. Rather it's the belief that if I tell others everything, I'll reach a certain point where I have nothing left to add. Is this a false belief?

People often feel closer to you if you reveal something important/secret or open up to them. Yet if you are fully exposed, what exactly happens then?

Just hearing from the other side would be interesting.

[Jarrod]

I remember when setting up my blog I was scared of many things. People would disagree with me, people would think I was weird, I wouldn't have anything to add to the world.

None of these things come true.

As I write posts I don't know what I'm going to write about next month but throughout the days things pop up and I learn new things about myself which I can then write about.

The same applies for in person interactions.

You will never run out of stuff to expose about yourself. You have X years of life experience, how could you ever?

Every moment you can learn new things if you are looking.

When you give people more information there is a higher chance of them providing insights on the topic or about themselves which leads to even more learning.

So you have nothing to fear, go for it

[magi13]

I'd recommend you watch the anime "Spirited away". The anime's theme is about this girl who is shy and then meets lots of wonderful adventures and eventually overcomes it.

Try and move forward. I know that sometimes people fear telling others about themselves, that is okay. It's normal, but if you meet someone you like then you can test yourself by slowly opening up to them, take note though, keep some private info about yourself to your grave. Just choose the information you would like to share to your friends, loved ones or the world.

Anyway I do hope this helps.

[jtracy]

I guess I have the opposite problem. I am too eager to tell other people about myself. I don't mince words either, I probably say lots of things that may be better left unsaid. It comes from a lifetime of being told that nobody wants to hear from me. My only concern about it are that other people will get annoyed because they want to talk about themselves too, and there is an unwritten rule that both participants in a conversation are to disclose information about themselves at an equal rate.

It is true that as you go through life you constantly have new experiences to talk about so you never run out of things to tell others about yourself. My beleif is that if you are fully exposed, then others will understand more that you are a human being, with the same joys and fears that they have. They will be able to identify with you more, and empathize with you better.

[Brutha]

Rather it's the belief that if I tell others everything, I'll reach a certain point where I have nothing left to add.

If you don't share a experience there is a good chance that you will forget that experience.
Sharing experiences is a skill. The more experiences you share the better you will be at sharing experiences in the future.

Unless you do nothing else than having a boring life and watching TV all the time you should have a lot of experiences to share.

I had the same problem a few years ago in the context of toastmasters and finding personal material to share in speeches.
I heared some audio course and the guy said: "Even if you don't have a near death experience you should still have a lot of interesting personal stories to talk about."
Then I thought to myself: "Hey I do have something like a near death experience, but I still have nothing to talk about."
Then it came to me that my belief is silly.

Opening up and sharing stuff is a skill that can be learned. Practice it and you will get better with time.

[dhg]

Originally Posted by Sanity Panda

Rather it's the belief that if I tell others everything, I'll reach a certain point where I have nothing left to add. Is this a false belief?

But you are living! You are constantly experiencing new things! Not that I really know, but I would think the more you expose, the more experiences that will lead to. I really don't think that it's possible to reach such a point. You can always think, and you always have your creativity. You can always create.

Originally Posted by Sanity Panda

People often feel closer to you if you reveal something important/secret or open up to them. Yet if you are fully exposed, what exactly happens then?

Well. I don't really know.. I've never been there. It is somewhere I would like to go, though. I think it would be amazing. The place where things really start to happen.

Can you imagine yourself in that place? How does it feel?

[Ralph]

Originally Posted by Sanity Panda

Hm. Not sure if others have experienced this feeling before. Even if it's part of the introverts nature to keep things to himself.

Right I'm scared of giving too much information away about myself. You could say it's the fear of rejection, except it's not because I'm scared others will reject me for the content. Rather it's the belief that if I tell others everything, I'll reach a certain point where I have nothing left to add. Is this a false belief?

People often feel closer to you if you reveal something important/secret or open up to them. Yet if you are fully exposed, what exactly happens then?

Just hearing from the other side would be interesting.

You can cut this belief by realizing there's so many creative things you make up any second that there's really no way to have nothing to add. If you're fully exposed, you can take your relationships to another level. In my opinion only then you can feel the real connection because you've stopped hiding your true self from another person.


As for the fear and mental blocks, do what's always done about them. Train your ability to share like a muscle - with progressive training. Share your secrets over the internet with people you don't know, like in here for example. Then move on to sharing it with people you're sure you'll meet only once in your lifetime. Increase the consequences and committment that follows gradually and you'll get good at it.


I hope it works out, life can be so beautiful when you have people around you that know all about you and accept you right as you are. I'm not truly there yet but I'm right on my way!

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Brutha

If you don't share a experience there is a good chance that you will forget that experience.
Sharing experiences is a skill. The more experiences you share the better you will be at sharing experiences in the future.

Unless you do nothing else than having a boring life and watching TV all the time you should have a lot of experiences to share.

I had the same problem a few years ago in the context of toastmasters and finding personal material to share in speeches.
I heared some audio course and the guy said: "Even if you don't have a near death experience you should still have a lot of interesting personal stories to talk about."
Then I thought to myself: "Hey I do have something like a near death experience, but I still have nothing to talk about."
Then it came to me that my belief is silly.

Opening up and sharing stuff is a skill that can be learned. Practice it and you will get better with time.

this is good advice
mind if I borrow it ?

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Sanity Panda

Hm. Not sure if others have experienced this feeling before. Even if it's part of the introverts nature to keep things to himself.

Right I'm scared of giving too much information away about myself. You could say it's the fear of rejection, except it's not because I'm scared others will reject me for the content. Rather it's the belief that if I tell others everything, I'll reach a certain point where I have nothing left to add. Is this a false belief?

People often feel closer to you if you reveal something important/secret or open up to them. Yet if you are fully exposed, what exactly happens then?

Just hearing from the other side would be interesting.

hi
where did you come up with that name-sanity panda ?



just think of it this way :

you might be helping someone else with your story !

[Brutha]

this is good advice
mind if I borrow it ?

Feel free.

Focusing on the believe in cases like this really doesn't help. As long as you don't change your underlying habit you will always find a rational explanation for your behavior of not opening up.
If you are really smart, you even come up with very convincing reasons for your present behavior.

Ignore the beliefs, practice the habit of sharing information. (yes I know, that's easier said than done)

[WilkesG]

Originally Posted by Sanity Panda

Hm. Not sure if others have experienced this feeling before. Even if it's part of the introverts nature to keep things to himself.

Right I'm scared of giving too much information away about myself. You could say it's the fear of rejection, except it's not because I'm scared others will reject me for the content. Rather it's the belief that if I tell others everything, I'll reach a certain point where I have nothing left to add. Is this a false belief?

People often feel closer to you if you reveal something important/secret or open up to them. Yet if you are fully exposed, what exactly happens then?

Just hearing from the other side would be interesting.

I have the same fear. I have so many things that I keep inside, that I never feel like I can fully explain myself to someone else in a way that they can understand. I feel I have made so many major mistakes in my life, that in hindsight, will appear stupid to a rational person, that I tend to not want to tell people my whole story, even when what I am seeking is someone to understand and help me gain some insight into where I am at.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by WilkesG

I have the same fear. I have so many things that I keep inside, that I never feel like I can fully explain myself to someone else in a way that they can understand. I feel I have made so many major mistakes in my life, that in hindsight, will appear stupid to a rational person, that I tend to not want to tell people my whole story, even when what I am seeking is someone to understand and help me gain some insight into where I am at.

stupid

hey my picture is in the dictionary for that word
you have to pick a new one

[lifetimelearner]

where are you sanity panda ?

[dhg]

Originally Posted by Brutha

As long as you don't change your underlying habit you will always find a rational explanation for your behavior of not opening up.
If you are really smart, you even come up with very convincing reasons for your present behavior.

Never really thought about this, but it is so true!

Maybe one thing to understand is that it's not always rational to be rational, in a sense. I'm thinking rationality can then be seen as just a tool. And just as a screwdriver is a pretty bad choice for driving nails, rationality just won't work very well in all situations.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Sanity Panda

Rather it's the belief that if I tell others everything, I'll reach a certain point where I have nothing left to add. Is this a false belief?

Yes, it is. Because in truth, you can never tell others everything. There is too much in you to be able to tell others everything. You may temporally not know what to say, but there is so much in you to share, so incredibly much, it's amazing.

Furthermore, the more you share, the more you have to share! Because if you talk about only one subject, you have just one subject to add stuff. But if you talk about two subject, then that's twice the likelihood of more information to add! Talk about a bunch of subject and reveal a lot of yourself....and you keep having so many incredible opportunities to reveal!

I find that with those people I share so much of myself....are the people that I find it so easy to talk to add more and share more of myself.