Personal Development Vs Being Humble

[eruso]

I find that being interested in my personal development has created somewhat of a social problem for me; some people seem to think I'm full of myself. Does anyone else have this problem? If people hear my goals or the way I talk about life they think I'm conceited or pretentious, but this is not my intention at all. I've purposely tried to act more humble around people and not talk about my interests and goals so candidly, just so I don't feel like I'm intimidating people or something.

Anyone ever have this same kind of problem?

[DerekH]

Are people asking you about your goals and mindset about life? Are you just openly talking about it?

Try this: ask other people about their goals and dreams.

[eruso]

I guess it's a combination of both. At times I'll be really excited about whatever I'm doing so I'll openly share with people.

I like your advice though. I am actually pretty interested in hearing about other people's dreams/goals so that would work.

[DerekH]

Originally Posted by eruso

I am actually pretty interested in hearing about other people's dreams/goals so that would work.

[brandongilbert]

Focus more on other people than you do on yourself. Learn to help them and solve their problems.

Also, you may have to be choosy with who you talk to these kinds of things about. Some people just dont care. Some people will just want to discourage you. There is nothing wrong with this, its just how they are, and thats OK.

Find people that are like minded and supportive. Share your goals with them.

[Elrond]

I think it's more like...

Personal Development vs. Other people not being obivously jealous of you

[bluedragon]

I don't think I know more than 3 people who have a goal...
It's really annoying but I can't talk about "my goals" without people being like "ok.. you have a "goal"... that's deep".
People I talk to about my goals don't say anything about it because they do not relate to the situation. At least this is my feeling at the moment. I'm gonna make an experiment: I'm gonna ask some of my friends what their goals are and tell you how they react. Who knows, maybe in the mean time they got a few...
I also recently talked to a friend who said that to him personal development is like manipulating people and auto-hypnosis... however, I'm don't know what he was referring to as he didn't make a clear point in my opinion. Some people are just against this stuff.

[Jarrod]

Use personal development to get through being me focussed (discover if you are first).

There is no versus here.

[Acting Like Godot]

Everyone has goals. Some people have bigger goals than others, that is all.

The bum who sneaks off early from work to go home and sit in front of his TV set with a big bag of potato chips also has goals. His goals are: (1) sneak home early; (2) watch TV; and (3) eat potato chips.

[magi13]

^,^ Not everyone in this world is open to your point of view. So sometimes they will judge you because they may envy or misunderstand you or just find you weird or strange.

Listen to your heart and think with your head. (300 right ^^) and think for yourself.

Keep up the positive attitude and show through actions and not words the results of your belief ^^. In the end you will have people who are of like mind with the way you think.

I think they'll be more open to your thoughts than the ordinary person. ^^ seek your own flock. Till then blend in and excel with the ordinary. :3..

Good luck, ^^,

[Victor Vikingr]

I don't have the exact same problem, but I do get reactions I don't like. Usually I have to justify why I do the things I do. I appreciate people's concern, but I hate to explain my reasons to the same people over and over. OK, polyphasic sleep and such does deserve an explanation, but vegetarianism?

I think it's just an attitude people have to those who challenge them (or their way of living).

[sbdiane]

At some point in my life I decided not to talk about myself unless other people asked me questions. Instead I would ask other people about themselves. I might volunteer info about myself during the conversation, but my focus would always be on the things the other person talked about.

I did this for two reasons. I thought maybe I talked about myself too much and I also did not like waiting in silence hoping someone else would tell me about themselves.

On the plus side, I noticed that people really like it when you ask them about themselves and you show interest in their answers.

On the minus side, I noticed that people rarely ask me about myself and I sometimes feel a little lonely for it. People rarely got to know me. Some people would actively speculate and wonder about me, but wouldn't take the time to ask me anything! So now I try to volunteer information without prompting.

In the end, I think it is better to ask people about themselves and maybe volunteer something about yourself in response than it is to just start talking about yourself. People like it when you show interest in them. But people rarely like it when someone just starts yammering on and on about themselves. It's ok in moderation, though.

[magi13]

Originally Posted by sbdiane

At some point in my life I decided not to talk about myself unless other people asked me questions. Instead I would ask other people about themselves. I might volunteer info about myself during the conversation, but my focus would always be on the things the other person talked about.

I did this for two reasons. I thought maybe I talked about myself too much and I also did not like waiting in silence hoping someone else would tell me about themselves.

On the plus side, I noticed that people really like it when you ask them about themselves and you show interest in their answers.

On the minus side, I noticed that people rarely ask me about myself and I sometimes feel a little lonely for it. People rarely got to know me. Some people would actively speculate and wonder about me, but wouldn't take the time to ask me anything! So now I try to volunteer information without prompting.

In the end, I think it is better to ask people about themselves and maybe volunteer something about yourself in response than it is to just start talking about yourself. People like it when you show interest in them. But people rarely like it when someone just starts yammering on and on about themselves. It's ok in moderation, though.

I think this answers the issue at hand. ^,^

[eruso]

Thank you sbdiane.

[WilliWibald]

I have made similar experiences as eruso. I think I have found a good explanation for these kinds of things:

A lot of people are very unconscious. When they see someone, that actually wants to improve, than that puts the ego of these peoples under pressure, because the ego has a perfect self-image and does therefore fight people that threaten it.
Highly conscious people, no longer under control of their ego, with them you talk about your goals and it can become a pleasant exchange of ideas and encouragement.
With not so conscious people, you have to stop communicationg :-)
Or lovingly help them see and reaffirm that you love them and try to understand and support and so on, since they are so full of (self-) doubt.

[RT Wolf]

Originally Posted by sbdiane

At some point in my life I decided not to talk about myself unless other people asked me questions. Instead I would ask other people about themselves. I might volunteer info about myself during the conversation, but my focus would always be on the things the other person talked about.

I did this for two reasons. I thought maybe I talked about myself too much and I also did not like waiting in silence hoping someone else would tell me about themselves.

On the plus side, I noticed that people really like it when you ask them about themselves and you show interest in their answers.

On the minus side, I noticed that people rarely ask me about myself and I sometimes feel a little lonely for it. People rarely got to know me. Some people would actively speculate and wonder about me, but wouldn't take the time to ask me anything! So now I try to volunteer information without prompting.

In the end, I think it is better to ask people about themselves and maybe volunteer something about yourself in response than it is to just start talking about yourself. People like it when you show interest in them. But people rarely like it when someone just starts yammering on and on about themselves. It's ok in moderation, though.

Mod +5 for truth!