|Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT|
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|12-18-2008, 11:38 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2008
a little advice needed
my two teenage sons found out that my name is lifetimelearner and I am worried about posting now
I came home today and wanted to post something about my ex that was rather explicit
how would you guys feel about your kids reading what you posted and would you feel free to post or hesitant ?
|12-19-2008, 01:30 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: San Rafael, California
According to the share your shame model I posted my original "I'm dead inside" post both here and on facebook. Its really odd having people in your life knowing things you want to keep isolated from them. I've found its not so bad having yourself exposed, I've had friends share their own problems with me, have had many excellent discussions, and it seems to have worked out pretty well for me. I'm not sure how this applies to children. I personally don't agree with the notion that children need to be "protected" from the truth. If anything having open exposure to their mom's internal state might help them understand you as a person and bring you closer together. Treat them with respect and hope for the same back?
|12-19-2008, 01:55 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2008
I agree with RRR. It could potentially deepen your relationship with your children, they may feel more open to telling you things as well. If you have no problem telling them, then I feel like they'd be fine telling you things as well.
|12-19-2008, 02:50 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Perth, Australia
If my future kids (Hi there!) found my posts, I would be happy to share them. It wouldn't change what I post, but I'm fairly candid when posting already. There's nothing I wouldn't want them to see. My MSN conversations on the other hand...
It all comes down to how you write about something when you express yourself. When you want to say something about a situation, you want to express how you feel, what you see from the situation and anything that applies to you. Anything you say about the situation should be objective, or relate to only yourself. If you are posting about someone else, then don't demonise them, and don't call them names or put them down. Just express how they impact apon you.
It comes down to avoiding gossip, gossip being: talking about a person in such a way that it unfairly diminishes them. You can talk about people all you like, but you don't have to unfaily diminish them.
As for being too open, well, that's a whole different matter entirely. How open do you really want to be, and how much do you want people to get to know the real you.
|12-19-2008, 03:24 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2008
thank you I really appreciate the replies
I am very open with my children when it comes to my past -
they know about my drugs and alcohol past and I think it makes me a better parent
but they are already sensitive to things about their father so I hestitate to ask you guys for advice in that area
so I guess I will just keep it to myself
|06-14-2009, 10:06 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2008
I'd advise against saying anything here that you would not say to their face. Preferably, say it to them first. teens need to feel acknowledged. and they need room to think both their parents are basically ok.
you need to say tough stuff about your ex, get a new nom-de-plume, or talk to someone in the flesh when your teens aren't listening
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