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| Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT |
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12-10-2008, 09:33 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 386
 |  frustrated and stuck in my life
im just so fed up with myself, my life, seems like I do the wrong things too often, or I think something is right then I realise maybe it was wrong. Im just fed up with how my life runs. seems like I have way too many thoughts to write it all down. ...........now this girl i was seeing is in a relationship with someone else but I would like to see her again. at the time tho i was listening to these podcasts from someone saying he doesnt date and still gets with women, i cant write all this down right now - too much im frustrated and stuck in my life I guess its relationships - its hard for me to get into one and its hard to stay in one - I guess its all in my beliefs and mindset - aaaahhhh its driving me mad sometimes i think ill b better off dead as it seems i cant change things Last edited by ultimate; 12-10-2008 at 09:51 AM. |
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12-10-2008, 11:12 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 159
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First of all, you would not be better off dead and you can change your beleifs and your results. It just takes commitment and hard work. Someone told me that frustration was just like spinning your wheels throwing out your energy in random directions. It prevents you from getting anything you want. So you need to move on from being frustrated. The trick is to search out an equally true thought about the situation (such as the one about the girl you're seeing who is in a relationship with someone else) that makes you feel even just a little bit better, that brings you a feeling of releif. Even pessimism or boredom would be an improvement as long as you don't dwell on that too long, and keep moving up the emotional scale. You also need to avoid thinking about what was bad about your last relationship and instead focus on what went well with it. That way your next partner will have more of what you want.
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12-10-2008, 12:19 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 27
| Quote:
It certainly does not seem that way to you all the time for you only say sometimes. I catch what you mean. What if you meet the woman of your dreams in the next two days? What if you had to end the previous relationship in order for you to meet the next one? Truthfully, wanting to be with a previous love is a normal feeling to have however if she's with someone else it's just too complicated to stomach. Trust me! Been there! Done that! Tell yourself this. "I will be ready when the next hottie I meet shows interest" Psych yourself up! Dust yourself off! Go out and meet someone!   | |
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12-11-2008, 04:22 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 386
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I think she wants me still - I got this feeling when I asked her - "I see your in a relationship" she said "if you can call it that" im confused - I get out of this state of mind then slip back down - I was reading The Key by Joe vitale earlier and I started to feel great about myself - I was ok for a little while then about 30 minutes ago I started to feel really down and unsure what to do and wanting to see my ex again and thinking maybe I should have said something sooner to get back together as we were talking online auite alot - I just thought hey this is going good - we are talking an stuff - I didnt think to say to see each other tho another thing I didnt think it was a great relationship when I was seeing her but again this is probably down to me - I mean relationships are rare for me - there must be a reason for this so it couldn't have been her that made the relationship bad it must have been me. (it seemed boring) Still I want to see her again IM not sure when a hottie will show interest - it seems rare for me - when it did happen with her it was when i least suspeceted it. im fed up with my way of thinking thats for sure but it seems like a bad habit thats tough to break  |
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12-12-2008, 02:12 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 81
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I don't think you are ready to be in a relationship.... Don't be fooled by the PUA mentality while some of the ways to engage and start conversations have merrit the rest is BS. My advise is to show her love, be open and honest with her without expectation... My question for you is Why? Why do you want to be with this girl? is it all physical? what do you like about her as a person? why is it so important for her to feel the same toward you? Do you think if she wanted you it would validate you somehow? Do you equate relationship with ownership? when you answer these quesyions I think you will find that you are not ready for a relationship. You need to love yoursef first. You are an amazing life.... If not you would not exisit... Understand you do not need to be anything other than who you are.. the real you not the fasade you put on for the world.. Give her that.... care about her... be her friend... offer advise that helps her even if it means letting her go... spend time with her when you both can.... let the rest go and you will be happy |
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12-13-2008, 07:05 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 386
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Why do I want to be with her? Because she likes me - its a rare thing it seems. I like being in female company with someone who liked me. I liked the company - being with someone - Do I relate relationship as ownership? I dont think I do I do care about her My life is so unbalanced - I cant seem to balance it out. |
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12-13-2008, 07:57 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 81
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You haven't given me anything that distinguishes her from any other girl..... Because she likes me..... I like being in female company..... being with someone...... Do you see what I'm saying... You are seeking validation in her She may or may not be a great person but I still think you need to be good in your shoes.... Feel good about yourself I tell you what.... I give you permission to love yourself right now Just as you are you don't need to change one bit.... Do that..... then Like her for her then and only then will you understand being able to give without taking Much love |
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