Reaction to Christmas Decorations

[Gene]

I had a very difficult night last night. As my dear wife immersed herself in decorating the newly acquired Christmas tree I descended into a state that is difficult for me to describe. I felt fear, anger, resentment as well as a sense of loss.

When I walked into my office and discovered a small Christmas tree on my desk I moaned “No, not here somewhere else…” My last sanctuary in my home was now just like the other areas of the house, a place of discomfort and of pain with the unexpected intrusion of the tree.

I do not react this way to holiday decorations in other people’s homes or in public places. I enjoy watching the family on Christmas morning. I do not react to the thought of the Christmas décor or the purchasing of the items for decoration. It should not be a surprise that the items will be there and yet it is an emotional bomb shell when I see them.

I slept well last night. I slept without conscious dreams which is unusual for me. This morning I feel peaceful and like a weight was removed from me.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Gene, I'm really sorry you had that experience as it sounds painful for you. Would you like to talk about this and work through it or did you just need to let it out? I'll try to check back in to see how you respond. Until then I send some peace.

[Gene]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Gene, I'm really sorry you had that experience as it sounds painful for you. Would you like to talk about this and work through it or did you just need to let it out? I'll try to check back in to see how you respond. Until then I send some peace.

I have processed the experience with the help of a friend since I posted the original message. Even before speaking with my friend I felt peaceful this morning.

The reaction was familiar for me as it has occurred many times around Christmas. I seem to have processed the flashback differently this time. I have not run away screaming nor have I screamed at anyone else this time.

I posted the OP as an acknowledgment to someone outside of myself that the events occurred.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and your gift of peace. I can feel them.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I understand better now. I'm really glad you have been able to work through this and share it with us. It takes courage to face things so painful. I'm going to continue to send those peaceful and calm feelings to you. Best wishes for complete healing of this and many enjoyable Christmases to come.