for RRR and anyone listening

[lifetimelearner]

okay RRR here is my post

I am in a funk

and I hate when I post negatively because I am usually a very sweet person honestly

my -I want to do drugs and forget the world side
constantly fights with
my -I need to be a good mom ,daughter etc side

some days I just want to say f--- it and run the hell away from this world

my advice to others
and how I really f---- feel always always always fight

I am a hipprocate
I don't practice what I preach

maybe thats why I listen to Rage Against the Machine lately

I just want to hand my children over to the sweet girl side of me and then get the hell outa here seeya !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


what would I do then --

I would be wild !!!!
I would dye my hair blue ,get tattoos,and piercings
dress like I really want
AND
start a rebellious newsletter against the 'ESTABLISHMENT'

ghandi would roll over in his grave
I am more a Malcolm X girl anyway !

I would like to cuss like a sailor and tell suits to screw off

and dance like there's no tommorrow

no more lies this is me

[Calvan]

Who says you can't be both sides? You can be sweet, have a few peircings, stand up for yourself, be wild, care for and love your children, have fun and be good to those around you. Don't fall for OTHER peoples opinions on what's "proper" do what makes you happy and teach your children by example to lead lives that will make them happy.

About not practicing what you preach... start practicing or stop preaching. Personally I feel you should be who you are at all times so the best track is to stop preaching.

Theres nothing wrong with a little rage. No good or great things come from apathy. Indeed all the greatest and good happenings in the world have sprung from some form of rage.

Sorry if I missed the point of your post entirely... Im Male, it's expected that I be confused

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Calvan

Who says you can't be both sides? You can be sweet, have a few peircings, stand up for yourself, be wild, care for and love your children, have fun and be good to those around you. Don't fall for OTHER peoples opinions on what's "proper" do what makes you happy and teach your children by example to lead lives that will make them happy.

About not practicing what you preach... start practicing or stop preaching. Personally I feel you should be who you are at all times so the best track is to stop preaching.

Theres nothing wrong with a little rage. No good or great things come from apathy. Indeed all the greatest and good happenings in the world have sprung from some form of rage.

Sorry if I missed the point of your post entirely... Im Male, it's expected that I be confused

you are sweet !
even if you are male and confused
kidding
thanks for the advice

I used to be an addiction and mental health nurse and I had to 'preach'/
'talk 'to the patients about their issues

most of the time I wanted to go outside and scream

[RRR]

I read anti-establishment news from Alex Jones' Infowars: There's a war on for your mind! every day. I have the exact same person inside, screaming to get out. I've wanted to dye my hair blue forever. Its been what I've wanted since I was 15. I was growing it out allllll summer. I finally cut it off when I came back to Ohio. I wanted to fit in. In California I blended in. I spend so much time figuring out the nature behind our poltics, I get so pissed off all the time at how badly we are getting screwed all around the world. I used to listen to Rage Against the Machine alll the time. When I lived in California I was literally 4 blocks away from a stand covered in anti-establishment information, movies, buttons. It was amazing. Ahhh this is so awesome. What do you want to write about? I could write at length about so many things. They recalled water fluoridation in Gran Rapids Michigan, the city where it was first put into water just a few weeks ago. The G20 summit just happened. And the fed is going to be crazy interesting dealing with the upcoming changes. Probably lots of bailouts. What if GM goes under? That would be inssaaaaaane. I have a GM plant closing 2 days before christmas right by my house! I'm in prime GM failure spot. Whats going on where you live? What kind of community are you in where you can't be this way? In California I swear you could do this and people would support you like crazy. And its good for you! I'm gonna do it. Wanna make one with me?

[RRR]

Awwesome. I could cover the GM plant closing from now until December 23, maybe even beyond. I can interview employees, the company, residents, polticians, I can post it up on a website. Like GMDayton2008.com or...DaytonClosing2008.com. We could all just do independant reports about different local events we find important and post them on the web. Really go all out with your journalism. Oooh I have journalist friends to help tooo awesome. I'll get cracking on this idea tomorrow

[RRR]

I wrote a poem tonight.
I am still editing and growing the poem.

Humanities purpose.
Make into poem the posts of Mr. P

I also wrote Building your braintrust/How the internet created world peace

What do you honestly believe? What is your opinion? I'd appreciate knowing

[jtracy]

I can identify with wanting to run away and do crazy things. I know that, for me, that's probably because my parents prevented me from doing ANY of that as a teenager so I never got it out of my system. There's a part of me that wants to be a teenager and just rebel against my family's idea of who I should be (except now I don't have the money or the support system). Maybe you have a similar issue, I don't know.

I know that all my life, I was taught that other people's needs were more important than my own (especially my children's), and by now I just aren't buying that. I've read that if you don't satisfy your own needs first, you won't have anything available to help others anyway. I think it's better to be your own person, and encourage your children to be their own person too.

I agree with Calvan that there's nothing wrong with a little rage. I can remember my first year of university when I was pretty depressed and they showed a movie in one course which was designed to upset people and I got really mad at the professor but I did feel a lot better afterwards. And I got along fine with the professor after that too. Rage is good sometimes because it reminds you of what you really care about and what you want to change in the world.

[Lauxa]

Hell yeah! How sweet it would be to just run away from it all, ditch the responsibilities and go a bit crazy. Sigh.

I'm here b/c I've gotta get ready for company coming in for Thanksgiving and I don't want to. I don't want to clean the house, I don't want to drag my kids out shopping, I DON'T WANT TO.

Hm...

I would dye my hair red and hitchhike across the nation doing drugs with all sorts of crazy-ass people. I'd sing and dance and play guitar around campfires, take long hikes through the wilderness, swim in the ocean, and forget about tomorrow.

Ah, well... guess I'd better start cleaning.

[Dan.Linehan]

@ lifetimelearner - Do it! I think everyone needs to go through their punk phase sometime.

I saw Tom Morello in San Francisco on the first leg of his tour a few weeks ago. I think you'd like him a lot. Check him out live if you can. Very smart, very political, very anti-establishment. Iraq Veterans against the war are touring with him.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

my -I want to do drugs and forget the world side
constantly fights with
my -I need to be a good mom ,daughter etc side

You think that you are both sides. What if you are neither side?

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

You think that you are both sides. What if you are neither side?

Good point. ^

Realize this: It's much more rebellious to do the best you can, to make the most out of your life, to really follow through on your goals, than it is to just change your look.

Anyone can get tattoos. But building a career takes time and effort. Building strong, loving relationships takes time and effort. Building a business takes time and effort.

There is more audacity in hope than fear.

[lifetimelearner]

thanks guys

I gotta run out for a bit

but I wanted to say that I am going to respond later to all your great posts

see you later tonight

[carnelian heart]

It is best to be yourself at all times, and this means integrating your selfish and giving sides. Maybe find a way to not give too much to your children and you will have more for yourself. This can be as simple as arranging a play trade on night a week with someone else who has kids. Communicate with them - tell them the truth as you see it. Perhaps then you will not feel the need to rebel so much. And dance with them. There is nothing better than an bond like that.

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by RRR

I read anti-establishment news from Alex Jones' Infowars: There's a war on for your mind! every day. I have the exact same person inside, screaming to get out. I've wanted to dye my hair blue forever. Its been what I've wanted since I was 15. I was growing it out allllll summer. I finally cut it off when I came back to Ohio. I wanted to fit in. In California I blended in. I spend so much time figuring out the nature behind our poltics, I get so pissed off all the time at how badly we are getting screwed all around the world. I used to listen to Rage Against the Machine alll the time. When I lived in California I was literally 4 blocks away from a stand covered in anti-establishment information, movies, buttons. It was amazing. Ahhh this is so awesome. What do you want to write about? I could write at length about so many things. They recalled water fluoridation in Gran Rapids Michigan, the city where it was first put into water just a few weeks ago. The G20 summit just happened. And the fed is going to be crazy interesting dealing with the upcoming changes. Probably lots of bailouts. What if GM goes under? That would be inssaaaaaane. I have a GM plant closing 2 days before christmas right by my house! I'm in prime GM failure spot. Whats going on where you live? What kind of community are you in where you can't be this way? In California I swear you could do this and people would support you like crazy. And its good for you! I'm gonna do it. Wanna make one with me?

thanks RRR for responding


my problem is my direction
I want to choose too many causes

and then I get in a rut because I am all over the place
so I have decided that I need to focus my energy into picking one thing
and then another etc

reading what I have wrote before I realize that my ideal self and my real self are oceans away from each other

I yell and scream at the top of my lungs but no one hears me because I have chosen a life of inaction

the life of a victim of her circumstances

thanks to this forum and being fired I have realized that I will die a victim if I don't do something

and by doing something I mean that I am tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting for my 'Vince Papale moment'

people like him inspire me

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by jtracy

I can identify with wanting to run away and do crazy things. I know that, for me, that's probably because my parents prevented me from doing ANY of that as a teenager so I never got it out of my system. There's a part of me that wants to be a teenager and just rebel against my family's idea of who I should be (except now I don't have the money or the support system). Maybe you have a similar issue, I don't know.

I know that all my life, I was taught that other people's needs were more important than my own (especially my children's), and by now I just aren't buying that. I've read that if you don't satisfy your own needs first, you won't have anything available to help others anyway. I think it's better to be your own person, and encourage your children to be their own person too.

I agree with Calvan that there's nothing wrong with a little rage. I can remember my first year of university when I was pretty depressed and they showed a movie in one course which was designed to upset people and I got really mad at the professor but I did feel a lot better afterwards. And I got along fine with the professor after that too. Rage is good sometimes because it reminds you of what you really care about and what you want to change in the world.

I agree with you too
I am trying to deal with it
lately my focus has been on my ex- boss that fired me recently

but then I realized that I knew she had no empathy for my circumstances so why was I fighting her so badly-in my mind that is

my connection was made when I realized through intensive reading and self introspection that she reminded of my mother( emotionally and verbally abusive) and my ex-husband (emotional ,verbal and physical abuse )

I always wanted to know why they could not love me for who I was and not ridicule and abuse me-where was there empathy ?

from our first meeting 3 years ago I knew the type of person she was (my boss ) but I cont. to work under her because I actually thought she would never last -being the cold person that she was
apparently I was wrong and that's the type of person they (the hospital)wanted in charge



that's why I hate the way big businesses operate !

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Hell yeah! How sweet it would be to just run away from it all, ditch the responsibilities and go a bit crazy. Sigh.

I'm here b/c I've gotta get ready for company coming in for Thanksgiving and I don't want to. I don't want to clean the house, I don't want to drag my kids out shopping, I DON'T WANT TO.

Hm...

I would dye my hair red and hitchhike across the nation doing drugs with all sorts of crazy-ass people. I'd sing and dance and play guitar around campfires, take long hikes through the wilderness, swim in the ocean, and forget about tomorrow.

Ah, well... guess I'd better start cleaning.

looks like there is a gypsy inside of all of us

sorry about the cleaning and shopping situation

thanks for replying

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan

@ lifetimelearner - Do it! I think everyone needs to go through their punk phase sometime.

I saw Tom Morello in San Francisco on the first leg of his tour a few weeks ago. I think you'd like him a lot. Check him out live if you can. Very smart, very political, very anti-establishment. Iraq Veterans against the war are touring with him.

instead of blue I went out and bought red dye for my hair

the tatoo is something I have been wanting to do since my dad passed
I want it to say Daddy's Girl Always

haven't checked out Tom Morello yet
but I will later

thank you

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

You think that you are both sides. What if you are neither side?

haven't thought about it that way !

[lifetimelearner]

just watched Tom Morello on you tube -very cool
I like him a lot

[mercuryrising]

Hmmm, I would immediately quit my job and move as far away from this f***ing town as possible. I'd probably go to Seattle or Berkley and write poetic political manifestos and drink good coffee. Maybe Arizona.

I'm pretty much done with the drugs, though. I just want to live a life that I'm not trying to escape.

There's this whole "American Dream" underlying why I am doing what I'm doing. And I'm not sure where I signed up for it. Is it in the fine print when you have a kid?

I'm working so that I can buy a house so I can be in debt so that I can go to work so I can send the kids to college so that they can go to work so that they can buy a house... it's like this never-ending cycle. What am I? A dung beetle?

It doesn't seem like I'm doing my kids any favors by training them to be better social robots.

[Ecce Homo]

Originally Posted by mercuryrising

I just want to live a life that I'm not trying to escape.

Another fine quote from the Merc! Man you're good!

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by mercuryrising

Hmmm, I would immediately quit my job and move as far away from this f***ing town as possible. I'd probably go to Seattle or Berkley and write poetic political manifestos and drink good coffee. Maybe Arizona.

I'm pretty much done with the drugs, though. I just want to live a life that I'm not trying to escape.

There's this whole "American Dream" underlying why I am doing what I'm doing. And I'm not sure where I signed up for it. Is it in the fine print when you have a kid?

I'm working so that I can buy a house so I can be in debt so that I can go to work so I can send the kids to college so that they can go to work so that they can buy a house... it's like this never-ending cycle. What am I? A dung beetle?

It doesn't seem like I'm doing my kids any favors by training them to be better social robots.

yeh my only drug now is food

and I know what you mean about being social robots

I think that my soul has been screaming for for quite awhile now-
a way to get away from what society would call ' normal ' living

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by carnelian heart

It is best to be yourself at all times, and this means integrating your selfish and giving sides. Maybe find a way to not give too much to your children and you will have more for yourself. This can be as simple as arranging a play trade on night a week with someone else who has kids. Communicate with them - tell them the truth as you see it. Perhaps then you will not feel the need to rebel so much. And dance with them. There is nothing better than an bond like that.

I am growing up with my children-not the ideal way but better than not growing up

thanks

[RRR]

I should totally cover the GM plant closing. I called a friend I hadn't seen since Highschool, turns out he was hanging out with my neighbor/best friend from age 8-13, he lives with another guy I knew, and they all work at a motor sports company right next to, literally, the GM plant which is closing. They have GM workers coming in the store all the time, easy place to interview people. Really bizarre how this worked out.

Do you have any practical things you'd like to do lfl? I think if you set something practical down you'll get synchronicities. Did you dye your hair red?

[lifetimelearner]

yes I dyed my hair but went for a more subdued red
I am very serious about getting that tatoo though -
maybe for xmas

practical things I am doing right now hmmm ...
verdict still out right now on that-

due to job hunting and apt searching

get back to you later on that RRR

good luck on your endeavor