Addicted to Poker; Texas Hold Em

[esmas]

Hi guys, although I haven't posted much I've been trolling this site hardcore for the last 2 years and I'd just like to say its helped me a lot through various times.

Basically 6 weeks ago I discovered online poker hosted in an American site. I live in Australia. Anyway, my first serious night of gambling I came away with 1200 USD which equates to roughly 1700 AUD. For an 18 year old like myself this is A LOT of money. Its more than what both my parents make in a week. Anyway, due to the fact that the money takes 10 days to process. Im down 700 in my bank. So a few days later I add more money to my poker account and begin betting. Finding myself losing continuously and having perpetuated the problem of me adding 120 AUD = 80 USD onto my poker account MANY times. This cycle would continue til I can no longer bear to play or my account will not allow me to take any more deposits. I then wait for my next pay check or for my cash to be deposited for the site.

Basically this cycle has continued for 5 weeks. Im now at a loss of roughly 4000 dollars excluding the money I've actually won off poker. Im 1000 dollars in debt with my bank account.

I also have a an audition for a highly acclaimed music academy in 12 days which im so terrified of failing. Only 5 students get chosen from a rough 150 although I'm in the top 15 for sure.

Im now sitting here at 5 am in the morning wondering what I've done to mess myself up so bad.

I also sleep for 12-13 hours a day, procrastinating hardcore?, and go to work which is at a pub and or play guitar. I still hold a very good social life with lots of friends but no one amazingly close.

From a person of my stature this doesn't happen normally; where I actually talk about **** going on with me... Im 18 and a male if that makes it easier to understand.

Just had to get that off my chest.

[lifetimelearner]

I don't practice what I preach because I am addicted to food


but I have read a lot on addictions ---

the one I like the best is that we use our addiction as a substitute for lack of meaning in our lives

true for me -don't know about you


sorry about your $$$ problems
good luck

[Lauxa]

Have you spent time learning to play and how to calculate the odds on each hand? If you know what you're doing, you shouldn't be losing so much. Try playing for lower stakes until you get better at it.

What are you procrastinating about? Do you need to be preparing for your interview? Try doing some visualizations each day of the interview going well and you being accepted into the academy.

[Plato]

Oh dear. What stakes are you playing?

[esmas]

I have been procrastinating for I have a fear of not getting accepted into the academy. I dont know why? I think I'm going through one of my progressive depressive phases which I constantly am battling mainly due to a lack of meaning in my life. Days are just passing by.

The stakes are like minimum buy in is 80 - 200 usd which is 125 - 350 AUD which is like 1 day of work for me but when i spend 1000 AUD in one night it aint so good. I just won back what I lost so im feeling better. Now Im going to keep it under control and definetely not play when I'm drunk or in debt; silly me.

I am getting through these little problems slowly and hopefully come out on top.

EDIT: Due to the lack of meaning in my life I'm aiming at doing activities that stimulate energy and emotion and to try and live in the moment. Rather than dwelling on the fact that I'm me and not something or someone else. But shall do everything in my power to get me to where I want to be.

A big problem I have is that I have all these ambitions but am stuck in a position of futility. I want so much to be greater yet struggle to live happily in the present which actually makes it far harder to achieve success. Due to my clouded sadness...

Ideas?

[Nautilus73]

Stop playing!
Immediately
you have other things to do. You are not up to the game, the stakes are much too high. You cannot win if you have to win and being forced to win something back never works.

Take off. Don't play. Concentrate on your other priorities. Tell yourself that if you have straightend out you get some books about the game and read them an come back.... but not yet.

And if you are addicted to Poker you can't win anyway. Maybe you are lucky but emotions will kill you in the end. And you cannot afford to lose any more money.

Get out. Now.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by esmas

The stakes are like minimum buy in is 80 - 200 usd which is 125 - 350 AUD

Minimum buy in? No-limit?

So you're playing $2/4 up to $5/10... seriously DUDE the players at these stakes are good! Certainly at $5-10... a lot of pro's play on those tables. If you play them you will lose!

As for ideas... you could try being a winning poker player.

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by esmas

I want so much to be greater yet struggle to live happily in the present which actually makes it far harder to achieve success.

Well, if you see living happily in the present as a struggle, then so it is. Try telling yourself it is easy to live happily in the present and see if that helps.