How does one defeat pride?

[pdnewbie]

I have these symptoms which I feel the cause is pride. When I'm with people, I tend to compare myself with them. I tend to smirk involuntarily (maybe), talk in a condescending tone, and generally be all smug, to those I evaluate as being not as good as me, or worse for wear. Likewise I tend to become meek, stutter in my speech, stumble when I walk, keep my head down, think unintelligently, when I'm with people I feel are better than me.

It just feels that this is my mode, constantly, in the presence of others. Evaluating, comparing, and having a mood that goes up and down. I am just so tired. Can anyone offer any suggestions?

[Colm OReilly]

Hi pdnewbie,

It seems you value yourself based on how well you're competing against others, rather than how you're progressing against your own benchmarks.

It also appears that you feel you have to be better than others in order to feel like you've won. There are two types of winning, those in which you get what you set out to achieve, and those in which someone else loses in order for you to win.

Life is not a zero sum game, in fact the only way you really get ahead is by helping others get ahead and offering value to them.

Do you have your own set of values and ideals which you've defined for yourself? Or are you working off some fuzzy 'culturally defined' values? If it's the latter, it might be worthwhile to spend some time working on that.

As regards pride or admiration, by itself there's nothing wrong with feeling proud of who you are and what you've accomplished. In fact, too many people fail to acknowledge their own achievements yet berate themselves for their 'failures'.

Your self esteem and value isn't based on anything external to you, it's simply an internal measurement. But if you chose to link it to outside forces it's always at the mercy of the environment. Working on your self esteem from the inside out will ensure it's lasting and solid growth.

This post from my blog might help you: Abundance, Scarcity, Winning & Confidence.

Lots of love,
Colm

[Steve Pavlina]

You might find these articles helpful:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...consciousness/

and

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...consciousness/

The level after pride is courage, so striving to be more courageous and bold is one way to move beyond pride.

[Sheehan]

Pride and jealousy are limiting illusions imposed on one's real self by the ego. Once you realize that there will always be people who are better than you and people who are worse than you, does it really matter? Rather, accepting that fact and moving on with life is something that matters. Reality is something to accept, not deny.

I think journaling is a great tool to let go of pride. Why don't you try to journal about the events that made you aware of you being proud or jealous? Try to question your self about those events. The answers, once they start coming, will definitely help you. Steve's articles on journaling are great for the details of this method.

[Eternal Wayfarer]

Practice surrendering, don't argue, don't defend yourself;even when you know you are right. Deep within, practice your own counsel. Physical manifestation is just the illusion you conjure to appease yourself, as to satisfy your ego.

Yet do not see ego as the enemy, use it as a tool to drive yourself to greater heights and not let your ego be your God. That is what you have been doing all along.

[Boldylocks]

Wow, both responses to your question hit the nail on the head!


I was also going to say-- what helped knock me down a few pegs was doing a parasite cleanse. They say that 85% of the civilized population harbors one or more intestinal parasite of some time-- either microbial , or worm.


Well, I did some colon cleanses once and discovered I was host to some liver fluke worms--- which led me to a parasite cleanse. Talk about a humbling experience! We humans have nothing to brag about when you think of it--even the most popular celebrity in the World can be full of worms as much as a homeless person.


Aside from that, I think our ego is our biggest enemy and constantly needs to be disciplined so it doesnt get out of hand.

Always remember that the Sun shines itself on the tiniest weed sticking through the sidewalk cracks, just as much as the tallest redwood tree.

[mattsonn]

I've bottomed out so many times in so many different ways, that I just can't be prideful.

Of course, I can make reasonable judgements about how good I am at something based on past experience.

But for me to act at all cocky or prideful is like asking for a jinx.

[dorothy hanna]

What you discribed is not pride. It's FALSE PRIDE. True pride is a healthy thing, and does not cause you or anyone else to end with feeling bad.

True pride can be seen demonstrated throughout nature. Picture the majestic mountains or the tall Redwoods of the forest. PRIDE!

Picture the regal motion of a beautiful stallion happily prancing about the field. PRIDE!

Picture the lioness stretched out in the sun, with her cubs playfully bouncing about her. PRIDE!

Sure they stumble now and then, and when they get up, they shake themselves off, have an OOOPPPSSS look for a moment, and then they settle easily back into their natural state. PRIDE!

They feel good. They are happy. Try reaching for joy, humor, gentleness. When you feel that smurk, let it be a signal to you to implement kindness, and compassion. Change the smurk to an actual smile. Lighten up.

[Milo Riano]

Practice humility and keep in mind you gain more from being humble than showing a lot of pride because all you satisfy is yourself.

[joshbickford]

Originally Posted by Milo Riano

Practice humility and keep in mind you gain more from being humble than showing a lot of pride because all you satisfy is yourself.

Let me add that if you are full of pride you will soon get the opportunity to eat a big slice of humble pie.

It's natures way of taking away our feelings of superiority.

[Eli]

Hi there
Sometimes what we need is a clear reality check. I sometimes get caught up in time wasting enotions that leave me mentally drained.

What I would suggest is a trip to a nursing home, burn unit, or physical rehab center which I think would set things straight in your head. Also, how were you raised. Peace

Good luck. Eli