A Step In Right Direction

[straysweeper]

Today I had an appointment with a Counselor for adult education. I'm begging my journey back to school. My intention and desire is to start back as soon as 2009 spring session. After such a meeting, I started thinking about that I tend to avoid people from my old life. Either from high school, or from my previous life here as I've fallen several times. I keep thinking at times I'm not where I should be, not where I myself would respect of myself. Today, someone from my old work was suppose to drop by and I didn't want to be here. I wanted to avoid the situation. And something feels off with me in that. I often talk to others I know about standing your ground, but I want to avoid situations, if not out right reject them.

I became more aware of this as I left the counselors office today, as I began to feel like I was one path where I should be. To stop thinking about where I am, where I was, and focus more on where I am going, without identifying with either as who I am. I think there is a big lesson in here that I am on the edge of. Right now I'll just be happy with being aware of it.

[oddgoo]

Is there an event that marks as a separator between your old life and your current one?

[viscapes]

I can relate to that straysweeper. I often avoid people or situations and then feel "off" for having done so. Thinking about it rationally though, I think it's a case of overanalysing situations. I tend to have a perception that a certain situation, or a meeting with certain people might potentially be awkward or uncomfortable in some way so I avoid it. Generally though, when I have no choice and have to face the situation it's usually absolutely fine and then I feel great afterwards.

I think the best cure (perhaps the only cure) is not to think about situations at all and simply get on with it. You'll find afterwards that there was nothing to worry about and you'll be chuffed with yourself that you've followed through.

Cheers
Paul