| |||||||
| Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar | Search | Today's Posts | Mark Forums Read |
| Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT |
|
Welcome to the Personal Development for Smart People Forums, the place for lively, intelligent discussion of all personal growth issues -- physical, mental, financial, social, emotional, spiritual, and more. You're currently viewing as a guest, which gives you limited read-only access. By joining our free community, you'll be able to post your own messages, access many members-only features, see the new messages posted since your last visit, and of course remove this header message. Registration is fast, simple, and free, so please join today. If you arrived here from a search engine, you may want to explore the main site first, which includes hundreds of deep and insightful articles on a variety of personal development topics. |
 |
| | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
10-21-2008, 07:33 PM
| |||
| |||
 How to develop your personality when your main flaw is that you are lazy? Hello everybody, Like the title says... how do you develop yourself when you are lazy? I relatively ok with myself, but I would like to improve because I know that it would make my life a lot easier. But how do you do that when you are lazy? And I don't even really mind that I am lazy.. I really really enjoy doing nothing. I know that for example doing sports would be good for me because it makes me feel better, gives me more energy, and makes me mentally more sane. But everyday when I come home I rather sit in front of the TV or read a book, or browse online... Same with writing.. I love to write, I would like to at some time write a book, but I am to lazy to just start with it... Anybody with the same problem? Better yet, anybody with a solution?? Tnx in advance a million for any tips or tricks!      |
|
10-21-2008, 08:47 PM
| |||
| |||
| hey man  i think you might suffer from procrastination; you delay things you feel like you should get started with. Procrastination - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia do you have it? in which case i would like you to watch this youtube video. it takes 30 minutes of your time, but i, suffering from procrastination for all of my short life, found this very very helpful. this last week i've managed to stop procrastinating due to the realization this guy gave me: YouTube - Procrastination... things actually get done! |
|
10-21-2008, 11:02 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
It sounds like you just want to write when you say you're too lazy to start with it. If you were going to write a book, you'd need to decide on an idea and do a lot of planning and research first. If you did that some time without any intention of actually starting the book, you could wait until you want to just write, which should be sometime soon, and start then. A good time to do some planning is when you don't feel like doing anything. If you don't have any projects to work on when you want to write then you could write something quick and short instead. Doing that would help you write a book if you ever decided to. Quote:
For example, you might decide that you're going to take a walk every day, which is one of the best exercises to do if you want to feel good and it's easy, but won't build muscle mass or improve balance or hand-eye coordination. You decide that, tommorow, you're going to go for a walk when you get home. So, you look at what the weather is going to be like tommorow, pick which clothes to wear, hang them on a chair near your doorway, and then get any equipment you think you'll need and put that on the chair too, like a watch, waterbottle, compass(in case you get lost), ect. Also, decide on an approximate route you're going to take with something like Google Maps, and pick a specific departure time if you need to do something once you get home before going on a walk. Put the chair in plain view of your doorway so that you don't forget that you're supposed to walk. The next day, you would come home, get dressed, take the stuff, and leave. You can deviate from plans a little, like wearing something else or not taking some things, but the important thing is that you walk. During the walk, the most important thing is that you feel good. You need to consciously make yourself feel good about the fact that you're walking right now and talk to yourself about all of the good things this walk is doing for you right now and in the near future. You might head back if you really dread the walk before you do it. During the walk, you can't really stop or get distracted since you'll need to spend as much time as you've been walking going back, so it should be easy to do. It's a lot harder to do something consistantly every day though, but you should be able to start by planning. Quote:
To make your life easier you would really need to do something like increase the ammount of free time you have each day, and make your non-free time stressless. Free time would be defined as time during which you don't require yourself to do anything. This might involve improving yourself but the objective would be one of those goals. First I'd make a schedule of how you spend your days by writing down what you do every day and for how long. After that, try to group non-free time into larger blocks, so that you don't have to shift between enjoying yourself and having to do something as much. It would also be beneficial to pad your schedule with free time before work or add some work in the middle of your free time to reduce stress so you might have to play around with it. Understanding yourself and learning about personal development will also reduce stress. In the long run you'd want to reduce how much money it costs for you to live, how long you spend working, ect. If your goal is personal enjoyment, you could give yourself things to do during your free-time block, figure out what kind of entertainment you like such as genres of music and video games and buy those, and set long-term projects.
__________________ There is nothing on sundersoft.com. |
|
10-22-2008, 05:49 AM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
You can start to work on laziness first. If you tend to procrastinate, you can start by using baby steps. Working things in bite size nuggets and slowly go the the way up. If you love writing, write a paragraph a day. Gradually you will get a book and when start to take action, you will find momentum gathering. You can read an article I written on procrastination here. Cheers Vincent Personal Development Blogger
__________________ Do you want freepersonal development tips to help you grow and be successful? Learn more at Hit Your Goals! |
|
10-22-2008, 09:07 AM
| |||
| |||
| Get a strong image of what you would like to do with yourself. It will motivate you to take action. |
|
10-22-2008, 09:59 AM
| |||
| |||
| Thank you everybody! Indeed procrastination is something that troubles me a lot... I will have a look at the video. About the book / story I would like to write... I have enough inspiration and would not need to do a lot of research because I would write a fantasy story. I actually love walking, and do it a lot (in the city, looking at nice houses, window shopping, together with my husband and talking etc) but when I talk about sports I mean going to the gym, doing sweating stuff in order to be more healthy, because walking is not enough. Thank you very much for your tips. It is not that I do not know what to do or what to improve because I do know. One thing I would like to do, both at home and at work is be more organized. So, having a day and week plan and sticking to it. At work I sometimes manager now, but at home still to many things don't happen because I simply don't do them... I'll have to start thinking how to solve this. You know the Nike slogan "Just do it"? That is my problem.. I just don't do it... Ow well... I have overcome worse things then this.. maybe this is just a bit left over stuff. Anybody else here had this problem? That your really wanted to do something, could clearly see the benefit of it, know that it can be done easily, and what the end result would be... and still don't do it? |
|
10-22-2008, 03:08 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
When you see it, you take away its power over you. Inspiration and power become available. Until then, your habitual thought is running your life -- you're like a robot. |
|
10-22-2008, 08:15 PM
| |||
| |||
| Tell yourself every day, at least 3 times daily "I take positive organized action". |
|
10-22-2008, 09:05 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
Wow, that looks interesting. I'll watch it later |
|
10-22-2008, 09:09 PM
| |||
| |||
| I watched that video last night, what an amazing video, really changed my views on the whole subject. |
|
10-22-2008, 09:50 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
At any rate, I believe procrastination is mainly about self-alignment, or lack thereof. Ssandra, Procrastination is just a label we place on an effect of a deeper cause, and when we try to get rid of it, it doesn't work, because the cause remains. Simply put, you need to become aware--i.e. self-awareness--of your natural configuration. Once you're aware of it, you can begin to consciously align with it. Steve's book would help with that since he covers habits nicely. The more you do something, the more it is reinforced. So once you know what you should be doing, and how you should align yourself, you just need to establish habits that align with your natural configuration--your body, your talents--which are part of your body; your biology, etc. Habits are easier to form when you draw on your self-alignment. When you push against it, you feel frozen and lack energy. Duh! Your organism is resisting what isn't natural to it. If you start directing your body to do things that aren't good or natural for it, it will resist it on some unconscious level. You may have awareness and consciousness--intelligence--but you can't trump your vessel: it has it it's own intelligence, too (just on a different level, although like an animal, it usually chooses self-alignment; only we with our conscious choice choose otherwise; not choosing self-alignment is inherently unnatural). Anyway, this is all high level. For something less high level, check out these resources I link to: I am what you call "slow" One final thing I want to mention is that you're going to have much trouble improving yourself when you don't accurately and clearly define your terms. In your post you mentioned "personality" in a very vague way. You also mentioned that you're a writer. Years ago I wrote like that--I knew no better--so I won't be too tough on you, but I will say that terms that aren't clearly defined will not serve you, your thinking, or other people. To write better, see here: Sirlin.net — Writing Well, Part 1: Sensibilities Sirlin.net — Writing Well, Part 2: Clear Thinking, Clear Writing Sirlin.net — Writing Well, Part 3: Origins of a Writer One more thing (because I can never just have one last thing, heh): consider looking into the book (which is more of a course, or a media package), The Truth About You. I'm currently going through it so I can't recommend it without reservation (since my experience with it is incomplete), but so far, it's working really well for me. YouTube - The Truth About You - First 3 minutes of the DVD Amazon.com: The Truth About You: Your Secret to Success: Marcus Buckingham: Books YouTube - The Truth About You - Marcus Buckingham
__________________ - Bruce Achterberg Twitter.com/BruceAchterberg Bruce's birthday Twitter contest! - Winner announced Hunter Nuttal of hunternuttall.com/blog was the only entrant (heh) and winner of my birthday contest. See his funny quote entries here, here: part 1, part 2, and the charity he wanted to promote here. Congrats, Hunter, and thanks for participating! |
|
10-23-2008, 04:55 AM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
...One tip I would give is watch fitness shows while exercising that hand on the remote. Seriously I find alot of great metaphors on TV fitness shows. For instance, Joannie( from happy days) was on a weight loss program and she was talking about her being lazy by nature and having to fight to workout. What I saw in her I saw in myself and I am a man. You see many of us have the same desires it is just a matter of channelling them. One more suggestion that helps me is google "susan powter i'm not here to audition" and "jack lalanne isnt life just great". Those two articles are on the same website. Those two articles alone have shaped a core of my thinking. Also, you can search for other articles and youtube videos by Jack lalanne. Also, Powter had made a 2 part dvd set called motivation. You can buy them from amazon used for around $3 a peice or less. Hope this helps. P.S. When the truth is told there's nothing new to teach. Hence: Repitition of the words of lalanne and powter will instill knowing and understanding and action. Last edited by forwardthinking : 10-23-2008 at 05:06 AM. |
|
10-23-2008, 01:52 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
Cheers, Eisho
__________________ www.personaldevelopmentforum.com www.fukuoka-in-focus.com www.meditation-subliminal-cd-reviews.com |
|
10-23-2008, 06:04 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
I have been thinking a lot about this, and I realize that when I say I am lazy, this is not true, this is a label put on my by other people (mainly in the past). I talked to my husband about this and what he said is true: "how can you be lazy, if you get up every day at 6.45 to go to work, come home around 19.00, help with the dishes, household etc.? And if you need even more proof, you had a restaurant, where you worked from 5 till 19.00 for 6,5 days a week for 5 months, and didn't give up or stopped doing it". He is right of course (how annoying, he always is.. )I have been thinking about this, and I think there are 2 things going on: 1. I hate wasting energy on something that I do not think is needed/useful/nice for me (now or later), I much rather do something I actually like... This is something I am ok with, and actually like about myself. Not doing something unless it is beneficial for me (long run or short term) 2. Something stops me. It is as if there are 2 persons in my mind / body. On the one side I know that I am successful, that I can do anything I put my mind to, that nothing can hold me back. This is my confidential side that is mainly in control of my mind. The other side is a very silent but persistent little voice saying: "who gives you the right to say that you are great? Why would you be great? Just be normal, and you are happy if you succeed at that.. Don't even try, you will just fail anyway... Unfortunately, this is the voice that has control over my body. So that even when with whole my hearth and mind I want to do something... I still sit on the couch and do not move. This is the same voice that gave me my panic attacks, before. The same voice that stopped me from going into a class room (way back in high school) even if I managed to get as far as that already.. it was capable or turning me around and making me go home. The stupid thing is.. this little voice could really make me stop thinking at all. I just did things (went to home to read, to the library to read etc. Books are my drugs of choice )Anybody still follows what I mean? And if yes... anybody any ideas on how to "kill" the voice in my head? |
|
10-23-2008, 06:18 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
I am sure that you are a very very nice person, and that you mean very very well.. Unfortunately I am not 100% capable of getting your message, since the way you write comes across very.. condescending. You do not have to do anything with this comment, I understand that it is the way I perceive you, and therefore my "issue" and not yours, but I thought you might value the feedback. Please ignore me if you don't. On the rest of your post: Quote:
Quote:
and there is my problem. I don't do that..I know that when (if?) I start writing, I will have a lot to learn if ever I want other people to read what I wrote. But for now, and the nearby future, I just like to write for the writing, for myself. To put all the stories in my head on paper, to make them great, to create the worlds as I would see them. To create as I would not see them... To have fun. To explore "what if.."But thank you for the how to write links. I will bookmark them and have a look at them later. Thank you as well for not being to tough on me because you as well "knew no better". Happy that you do now  I can only aspire to your greatness one day...(Disclaimer:my sense of humor is not funny, I know.. but that is still what this last paragraph is meant like, my type of humor, definitely no hard feelings here!) |
|
10-23-2008, 06:36 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
I invite you to accept the little voice, and look a little deeper at what it's feeding you. Try on: "I don't have the right to say that I am great; I'm not entitled to reach for more than what I've got because I'll just fail anyway, and that means that I am ______." What comes up? |
|
10-23-2008, 07:05 PM
| |||
| |||
| Quote:
(as in: normal, just like everybody else, not like everybody like here, but like in the Netherlands, like my parents. I do not want to be like them! They do not aspire to greatness, I do, I want to. I want to reach, to be more then I am, to grow, to become "more"...) That is what I come up with.. but my whole body, mind and hearth says it is not true. It almost makes me physically ill to say that I do not have the right to say that I am great. Because I am. Because I can be. There is more in me. Is there? Am I just average? Am I delusional to think that I am special in some way? That is what the little voice is telling me now.. is it true? |
