Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

ar81 · 10-13-2008, 07:30 PM

My ego seems to be a character.
He has a reputation.
So when arguing he will try to hold a position and defend this reputation.

The problem is that I have to fight for him.
So it is like a warmonger general, that has me as his soldier-slave and I get the wounds.

Solution.
When someone attacks me, I realize that my ego is being attacked.
I do not need a reputation, for I am me.
The more he pokes me, the more I enjoy seeing my ego to fall.

So it is like having that general underattack and I do not move a finger to defend him. I do not need him. I gain nothing by fighting for him, except for looking like an arrogant jerk and inspire trolls to poke me, tease me or annoy me.

Since I got rid of my ego I found that I live happier.
I have no need to get upset, to be angry.

And since I discovered the drama triangle, I do not engage in such a game anymore. And that gives me a sense of freedom and simplicity I did not enjoy before.

Annabelle · 10-16-2008, 08:20 PM

This reminds me of "The Four Agreements" in the sense that we must not take ANYTHING personally.

Froztwolf · 10-17-2008, 08:18 AM

Excellent advice, very inspiring.
Isn't it possible to take this too fare in the other direction? Surely sometimes we need to defend our actions, if only to prevent getting into trouble for something we were right to do.

How can you clearly define whether it's your ego prompting you to defense or whether it's logical and practical to do so?

10-13-2008, 07:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
ar81 Family Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 2,756	I discovered how to separate my ego from me My ego seems to be a character. He has a reputation. So when arguing he will try to hold a position and defend this reputation. The problem is that I have to fight for him. So it is like a warmonger general, that has me as his soldier-slave and I get the wounds. Solution. When someone attacks me, I realize that my ego is being attacked. I do not need a reputation, for I am me. The more he pokes me, the more I enjoy seeing my ego to fall. So it is like having that general underattack and I do not move a finger to defend him. I do not need him. I gain nothing by fighting for him, except for looking like an arrogant jerk and inspire trolls to poke me, tease me or annoy me. Since I got rid of my ego I found that I live happier. I have no need to get upset, to be angry. And since I discovered the drama triangle, I do not engage in such a game anymore. And that gives me a sense of freedom and simplicity I did not enjoy before.

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10-16-2008, 08:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
Annabelle Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: I divide my time between Guatemala and L.A. Posts: 85	This reminds me of "The Four Agreements" in the sense that we must not take ANYTHING personally.

10-17-2008, 08:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
Froztwolf Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 217	Excellent advice, very inspiring. Isn't it possible to take this too fare in the other direction? Surely sometimes we need to defend our actions, if only to prevent getting into trouble for something we were right to do. How can you clearly define whether it's your ego prompting you to defense or whether it's logical and practical to do so?

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums