Feeling secure?

[oBakasan]

A few months ago I went through a life crisis and ended up without employment, food and almost lost my flat because I couldn't pay rent.

Right now I have a new job, a steady source of income and I've saved up enough to last me for months if something bad happens.

However, even with this, somehow I still don't feel very secure in my situation. Like, I have a nagging feeling that it may collapse on me any time even though I know for a fact that my workplace is very pleased with my performance and will not fire me unless I go out of my way to do something bad.

So, can anyone tell me what's wrong? Why can't I relax and go on with the flow instead of feeling as insecure as I am now?

It's not even that I want to become completely lax and throw caution on the wind, but the way I am now, I just want to feel like everything is alright and there's no imminent danger to my wellbeing anymore.

Any thoughts?

[JustinPopovic]

Hi oBakasan,

You have come through what sounds like a very challenging situation and I commend you for that. I think it is natural for you to experience fear or uncertainty just based on your difficult experience.

The truth is, any anxiety or worry you are facing now is imagined. You are using your imagination to paint the picture of a negative outcome. There are many other "potential" scenarios that could happen to anyone of us at any time, but I bet you are not concerned about them. You just trust that you are safe. So, my point is, you already have the ability to be lax and free from worry...just maybe not in the situation where you want it.

Having said that, you MADE IT through your last ordeal. So even though it was difficult, you did it and you have proven to yourself you have the character and resolve to face even the toughest of life's challenges.

Perhaps dwelling on this awareness will help you relax and go with the flow?

Best of luck
justin

[viscapes]

Hi oBakasan,

I'd take heart from the fact that you've come through such a difficult time. You've grown as a result and your personal development stock has risen, making you stronger, smarter and more capable than before, and making the chances of a similar situation arising less likely. And even if things did take a turn for the worse, it too will simply be another opportunity for you to continue to grow and come back stronger again.

Cheers
Paul

[Calvan]

It's just conditioning. You've been conditioned to feel insecure by recent events. Very similar to post traumatic stress syndrome I'd say. Time will heal. Eventually you will be reconditioned to feel secure, after enough time has passed where nothing catastrophic happens.
Like the others said take heart in knowing you have what it takes to survive if it does happen again. On the logical side, keep putting some cash aside so you have enough to go on for even longer should something happen. If the feeling of insecurity is so strong its affecting your performance at work or causing you some other harm you might want to take a look at some PTSS coping techniques.