Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

learningtogrow · 10-01-2008, 02:37 AM

My dog is getting old. The signs are there
I imagine and want her to die a peaceful death. I don't want her to suffer.
Life for us with her is getting a little more difficult because we live busy lives. However, I love her and I'm so grateful for every opportunity to take the time to make her happy. I am willing to put everything on hold while she is with us.

However, I know I'm too attached to her and must come to grips with her passing because I don't want her to have to hold on for my sake. Then I question if I think that because she's becoming inconvenient. I don't want to believe that I could think that. Am I being selfish? I don't know if I could handle her being uncomfortable.

I guess I'm looking for a balance between letting her go and not feeling like I'm rushing things because I wouldn't be able to handle her being a geriatric dog. She's going to be 11 soon. She's doing o.k. but sore legs and I just found out she can't "clean" herself so I need to do it for her.

How can I wish for her to die peacefully with dignity and not feel like I'm bringing on her death by thinking about it (law of attraction)? I suppose this could be the case for a close family member as well so how do we know when it's time to be o.k with her passing and to let go?

viscapes · 10-01-2008, 01:47 PM

Perhaps the best thing is not to think of it at all. Take each day as it comes and enjoy what you have while you have it.

oBakasan · 10-01-2008, 05:12 PM

Perhaps this site could offer some inspiration?
Linky

missing · 10-01-2008, 07:23 PM

we had a lab that got a kidney infection and pissed all over the house. Her hips were bad also and she couldn't make it up the stairs without lots of encouragement. She had cataracts and other physical maladies aging brings and was clearly "out of it" at least in the sense of physical awareness. I didn't make the decision to euthanize so I don't know about that. I can say certain breeds will not clearly indicate when it's time to be put down. You need to make the decision for them. If the dog is "inconvenient" it might be the universe's way of communicating that it's time to move on and in which case you shouldn't feel bad about it.

Our dog declined very fast once the signs started. Yes that's probably not something you want to hear but that's just my experience. I stayed with her as she was euthanized and it was generally a peaceful thing.

Calvan · 10-01-2008, 08:45 PM

Its natural I think to not want the inconveniences. We have a dog here who has become the biggest pain in many ways. One way is he can no longer make it outside to relieve himself all the time. His days with us are numbered I'm sure. Often times when I'm cleaning the mess the thought crosses my mind "at least when he dies this wont be an issue anymore and he wont have to suffer either". At first it affected me like it is you, It kinda made me wonder if I was being selfish. It made me feel guilty and a bit horrified that I might wish death for this dog that I love so much just because I'm a little inconvenienced.

Eventually I realized I don't wish him death at all, I only disliked the chore's associated with his debilitation. He's still with us and I will continue cleaning and doing all the other extra things required until such time as hes in constant pain. I'll also wish it was over time I have to do one of those chores but I won't feel guilty about it.

Just dont pull away from your dog before they are gone. That's not fair to them. They are social animals like us and they can sense a lessening of connection. If your planning on doing that... just euthanize now, while the connection is still strong enough to comfort them. No reason to add to their physical suffering by pulling away from them and causing emotional hurt. You will live and heal your heart.

Technicolor Tim · 10-01-2008, 09:03 PM

I don't envy you this situation at all. I have a cat that has JUST started to show signs of aging, and that actually makes me quite sad. I don't look forward to the day I'm going to have to start raising the same questions you do.

It sounds cliche and cheesy, but when you make a decision like that, make sure you 'come from love' and not fear or apathy or something like that. Make your love for the animal decided for you.

Best wishes.

10-01-2008, 02:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
learningtogrow Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 52	handling the impending death of my dog My dog is getting old. The signs are there I imagine and want her to die a peaceful death. I don't want her to suffer. Life for us with her is getting a little more difficult because we live busy lives. However, I love her and I'm so grateful for every opportunity to take the time to make her happy. I am willing to put everything on hold while she is with us. However, I know I'm too attached to her and must come to grips with her passing because I don't want her to have to hold on for my sake. Then I question if I think that because she's becoming inconvenient. I don't want to believe that I could think that. Am I being selfish? I don't know if I could handle her being uncomfortable. I guess I'm looking for a balance between letting her go and not feeling like I'm rushing things because I wouldn't be able to handle her being a geriatric dog. She's going to be 11 soon. She's doing o.k. but sore legs and I just found out she can't "clean" herself so I need to do it for her. How can I wish for her to die peacefully with dignity and not feel like I'm bringing on her death by thinking about it (law of attraction)? I suppose this could be the case for a close family member as well so how do we know when it's time to be o.k with her passing and to let go?

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10-01-2008, 01:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
viscapes Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: North Wales, UK Posts: 137	Perhaps the best thing is not to think of it at all. Take each day as it comes and enjoy what you have while you have it.

10-01-2008, 05:12 PM	#3 (permalink)
oBakasan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Everywhere Posts: 179	Perhaps this site could offer some inspiration? Linky

10-01-2008, 07:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
missing Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 388	we had a lab that got a kidney infection and pissed all over the house. Her hips were bad also and she couldn't make it up the stairs without lots of encouragement. She had cataracts and other physical maladies aging brings and was clearly "out of it" at least in the sense of physical awareness. I didn't make the decision to euthanize so I don't know about that. I can say certain breeds will not clearly indicate when it's time to be put down. You need to make the decision for them. If the dog is "inconvenient" it might be the universe's way of communicating that it's time to move on and in which case you shouldn't feel bad about it. Our dog declined very fast once the signs started. Yes that's probably not something you want to hear but that's just my experience. I stayed with her as she was euthanized and it was generally a peaceful thing.

10-01-2008, 08:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
Calvan Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 51	Its natural I think to not want the inconveniences. We have a dog here who has become the biggest pain in many ways. One way is he can no longer make it outside to relieve himself all the time. His days with us are numbered I'm sure. Often times when I'm cleaning the mess the thought crosses my mind "at least when he dies this wont be an issue anymore and he wont have to suffer either". At first it affected me like it is you, It kinda made me wonder if I was being selfish. It made me feel guilty and a bit horrified that I might wish death for this dog that I love so much just because I'm a little inconvenienced. Eventually I realized I don't wish him death at all, I only disliked the chore's associated with his debilitation. He's still with us and I will continue cleaning and doing all the other extra things required until such time as hes in constant pain. I'll also wish it was over time I have to do one of those chores but I won't feel guilty about it. Just dont pull away from your dog before they are gone. That's not fair to them. They are social animals like us and they can sense a lessening of connection. If your planning on doing that... just euthanize now, while the connection is still strong enough to comfort them. No reason to add to their physical suffering by pulling away from them and causing emotional hurt. You will live and heal your heart.

10-01-2008, 09:03 PM	#6 (permalink)
Technicolor Tim Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 145	I don't envy you this situation at all. I have a cat that has JUST started to show signs of aging, and that actually makes me quite sad. I don't look forward to the day I'm going to have to start raising the same questions you do. It sounds cliche and cheesy, but when you make a decision like that, make sure you 'come from love' and not fear or apathy or something like that. Make your love for the animal decided for you. Best wishes.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums