work place bully

[brandi]

recently the operations manager was promoted to VP.
this man has a history of bullying other people in the company.

i have just managed to stay out of his way.
if you say some thing you get terminated.
That is the pattern of about 30-40 employees
he has recently set his sights on me after 8 yrs.

the bazzar things is he has always been super gossippy
and lying and stealing. i don't get why the owners don't get it
they are being conned. why don't they see this?

is this my que to exit stage left
and accept it is time for my promotion.
i am needing change so bad.

as a property manager i usually live where i work
so moving and total life change will be involved.

so i can't just run a round quitting or mouthing off.
i appear tough as nails but am super sensitive.

but i will not allow miserable and bullied
be my accepted standard of living.

[smartile]

I heard something else in your story, so I hope you'll entertain my thoughts about it

It's really important to consider the intention you have for your relationship with this new VP. What is your intention with the new manager? What do you think about him/her?

When I first began working with my supervisor back in 2004 I had alot of problems with him. My biggest complaint with him was that, "he was incompetent".

Now as subjective as our real-life experiences are, I couldn't be sure if he was really incompetent or if I was looking for evidence at every opportunity for his incompetence.

What I did take away from that experience was that I was unhappy, frustrated and unable to work in harmony with the man. Our relationship wasn't working, so what did I do?

Well, I did what any normal person would do, I changed my thoughts about him. Ok, so not all people would take this approach

Anytime I noticed my complaint surface, I would replace it with a new intention: my supervisor is doing the best he can with what he's got.

Shortly after this, I noticed that he became more accomodating than he had ever been in the past. When we met, he seemed to always be concerned with how I was doing and what he could do to help me. This was the same man who agreed to my fee increase and was the pivotal person that helped with my transition into a consultant role with the business.

In a short period of time I changed my relationship with this man by altering my intention, and this proved to be more powerful than I ever would have thought.

Thoughts do have power, so ask yourself these three questions:

1) What do I think about the other person?
2) Does this serve me?
3) And if the answer to #2 is NO, ask what thought intention would serve you?

[metamorph]

As far as I understood your post, you have two options. One is to change the job, but as you say this might involve a lot. However, it may be a blessing to you. The other option is to change your attitude, view and behaviour about your boss. See it as an opportunity to work on yourself. It is an art to dance with diffucult people.

I personally have been in both situations. From one job I walked away although I was offered a promotion, because I thought the boss was an insane ego-maniac and employees were in a constant state of stress and psychological terror. In my current job I ended up with the boss being an insance ego-maniac. Virutally all people in my profession, who know him, hate him. I don't. Maybe I was desensitised by my old work-place, maybe I have grown, who knows. I observe him, and try to see through his ego. Yes, there is still a rough wind here where I work, but I am getting less affected by it (exceptions apply).

I wish you the best

[clementc82]

Wow tough situation.

I had the similar experience.

I am under a leader and to me, she always seem to be very unloving and find fault in me.

Whatever I do, it never seem to be good enough for her. Little encouragement with much scoldings, I wanted to give up.

However, I made a decision. Since she was my leader, I chose to submit to her. I helped her dream to become reality and whatever she wants, I just perform my best to make it happen.

As a result, we work better nowadays. It was not an easy process.

I like smartile's post. It is really about taking the full responsibility for yourself.

I mean if he is really stealing and asking you to be a part of it, you will still have a choice to say no to him.

You might need to tell your boss about it or leave the company for the better. There are countless of opportunity out there.

I remember my friend was asked by his boss to create a false balance sheet for the company. My friend refused to do it because of his integrity. He even got himself into argument with the boss.

He stood for what is right and he insisted not to do it. To cut a long story short, after a long while, where the balance sheet issue was no longer remembered, my friend wanted to leave the company for the better.

The boss did not want to let him go because of the quality my friend has in him.

Amazing is it?

You might want to check out my blog for more personal excellence articles.

[brandi]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and stories.

I do think it's time for change and promotion, i shall wait for after the new year as it takes about 1-2 thousand dollars to move
the x mas bonus will be very handy.
i've always been the "i know something nice about you" person
when i don't like people every day i force myself to find something nice about them. i assume that with strangers too.
but this time i'm finding you can't polish a turd

and at the end of the day it has nothing to do about him,
everything to do with how i carry myself and never loose my grace.

the winds of change stir my soul

[Call me Boges]

I wouldnt take an ounce of **** from a guy like that. Some douchebag tried pulling the bully move on me when I first started my last job. I let him have it verbally and even though we clashed and butted heads (he was a superior to me, rank wise) I was well liked by his superior. I told him straight up I take no **** from anyone and that was the end of that.

[funchy]

You cannot change this bully or this company. You CAN change where you work or what you'll tolerate. It sounds like it's time to move on.

[brandi]

unfortunately this cat is operations manager and now VP
he's bullied for years i just managed to stay out of his way
and start every day like i was so excited to see him.
the excitement ran out.
I have already gotten my interview clothes
cause i got fat from quitting smoking
I'm new at being fat and i didn't order the right sizes!
holey moley.

It's so clear, time to move on.
i just find the chaos of change, not just a job change, but i have to move too.
maybe this is good and the universe (god) is bringing me to where i need to be for blessings.

he'll get his sooner or later
don't we all?