Question about "A New Earth"

[throughout]

Once you have a personal awakening and realize that there are two of you it is so hard to live in this world where you find everything to be so fake.

I don't know how to interact with other people anymore. Does anybody have this problem? I mean when I talk to my mother and see her painbody or her ego talking to me I don't know what to say and she has noticed that I have gotten very quite over the past couple of days.

I've gotten quite and distant on purpose because I dont know how to talk to people. I am trying so hard to figure out how to live in this world and not let it bring out my own ego and pain-body.

Please help...

[Maguru]

Originally Posted by throughout

Once you have a personal awakening and realize that there are two of you it is so hard to live in this world where you find everything to be so fake.

I don't know how to interact with other people anymore. Does anybody have this problem? I mean when I talk to my mother and see her painbody or her ego talking to me I don't know what to say and she has noticed that I have gotten very quite over the past couple of days.

I've gotten quite and distant on purpose because I dont know how to talk to people. I am trying so hard to figure out how to live in this world and not let it bring out my own ego and pain-body.

Please help...

I do understand what you mean. I have had to withdraw quite a lot. However, how can you tell the difference between pain-body/ego and the real mum? This is for you to see yours, not really your mums.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by throughout

Once you have a personal awakening and realize that there are two of you it is so hard to live in this world where you find everything to be so fake. I don't know how to interact with other people anymore. Does anybody have this problem? I mean when I talk to my mother and see her painbody or her ego talking to me I don't know what to say and she has noticed that I have gotten very quite over the past couple of days.
I've gotten quite and distant on purpose because I dont know how to talk to people. I am trying so hard to figure out how to live in this world and not let it bring out my own ego and pain-body. Please help...

If you're truly in the now and you have these feelings observe them and step back from your emotions. Look at them. "so hard...everything to be so fake...this problem...I don't know how..." All these words sound like you're not living in the now. "Fake?" That's a judgment. That's ego. "so hard"? That's your pain body speaking. "This problem"? It's only a problem if you make it one, which you are. "I don't know how..."? Let go of your need to know how and just be. Stop looking at the pain body as an attacker. You don't "fight" it. You don't judge it. You just step back and observe it. And if you fall off the horse and it takes you over, learn from it and hop back on the horse. Don't blame yourself. Don't judge. You need not do anything. She may be trying to bring your pain body out, but if you step back and see your feelings of worry, they'll lose their power. You don't have to "make" anything happen with your mother right now. You just need to stay aware and in the now.

[throughout]

Magura: Anytime I sense some pain or wanting, I just observe it as my painbody or my ego. I dont know if you are suppose to know which one it is.

Dannyboy: What you just said makes a lot of sense. Maybe at some level I am egoistic about my ability to see the fakeness in the world and pride on the fact that I can separate myself from it. I have a question for you. Are you able to just observe and live in the now without constantly labeling or judging something? It is so hard and sometimes I find myself way somewhere else and I laugh and bring myself back. It seems I'll have to be doing this for a while before it becomes natural.

[Lauxa]

I think when you sense a pain-body just try to treat it with compassion. Don't try to change or fix it but project kindness and love to it. Really listen to people without trying to fix them. When they tell you things, repeat back to them what they are saying so they know you get it. Then they don't have to feel so alone.

[Daphne Lim]

Originally Posted by throughout

Once you have a personal awakening and realize that there are two of you it is so hard to live in this world where you find everything to be so fake.

I don't think Eckhart Tolle meant that the painbody was fake. It's a real part of all of us. It helped me to love eg my mother better when I realised that sometimes she acts a certain way because the painbody is in charge, and that is not who she is in essence. You can love the 'real' person behind the painbody that sometimes pushes its way to the forefront.

My simple benefit from the book was not to judge others because I would be judging a mere shadow (the painbody) of who they really are.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by throughout

Magura: Anytime I sense some pain or wanting, I just observe it as my painbody or my ego. I dont know if you are suppose to know which one it is.

Dannyboy: What you just said makes a lot of sense. Maybe at some level I am egoistic about my ability to see the fakeness in the world and pride on the fact that I can separate myself from it. I have a question for you. Are you able to just observe and live in the now without constantly labeling or judging something? It is so hard and sometimes I find myself way somewhere else and I laugh and bring myself back. It seems I'll have to be doing this for a while before it becomes natural.

Considering all the conditioning you've endured your whole life, it's natural to label things. You don't, however, have to identify with those labels. You can observe that your ego is labeling things, but you don't have to buy into it. You can watch it label things and not judge. Observe the negative voice of your ego, don't judge it. Just shine a light on it so you can see it's not coming from the real you. It's coming from this ego that wants to be better than everyone else. The truth is we are all connected to each other, but the ego stands in the way of this truth. You however are enlightened enough to know what's happening, but when you forget you're in the now... when you forget to OBSERVE your thoughts... you become a zombie who "thinks" you're awake. Whenever you have discomfort, it's a sign that the ego is doing the thinking for you. As soon as this happens, step back and observe your thoughts... remember where and who you are and you will see.

[Daphne Lim]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

Whenever you have discomfort, it's a sign that the ego is doing the thinking for you. As soon as this happens, step back and observe your thoughts... remember where and who you are and you will see.

Hey I like the way you put it. Agree that when I stop fighting my ego I feel at peace. When I'm upset or disturbed, it's because I / my ego wants something that the real 'I' doesn't need eg someone else's attention. Once I step back and observe, it is easier to let go, to recognise that the needy person is not the real me. Takes practice to step outside yourself though.

[catalyst]

Lots of good insight here.

I agree, people aren't being 'fake', but they are acting from instinct, fear, and past conditioning. If you are conscious of this, then you can prevent yourself from reacting in the same way via your own 'pain body'.

It isn't to say give everyone a free pass to treat you however they want to, but rather to see things for what they are - with compassion. By not reacting with ego, I believe you can help others heighten their own awareness. By labeling others as being 'fake', you've unconsciously placed a judgement on those around you, that somehow you are superior to them.

btw - great blog Daphne.

[metamorph]

Realise that your mother IS not her ego and pain-body. So simply observe the ego in you and others without judging. Just see the dance of egos and opinions as they are. Like observing the clouds outside. If you are truly present and aware, then you will see through ego and opinions etc.

But as long as you are in the thinking/judging mode, try this to balance your view of your mother: realise that your mother is already enlightened and in disguise. She is in this world simply to help you to become enlightened too.

[Zwynd]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

If you're truly in the now and you have these feelings observe them and step back from your emotions. Look at them. "so hard...everything to be so fake...this problem...I don't know how..." All these words sound like you're not living in the now. "Fake?" That's a judgment. That's ego. "so hard"? That's your pain body speaking. "This problem"? It's only a problem if you make it one, which you are. "I don't know how..."? Let go of your need to know how and just be. Stop looking at the pain body as an attacker. You don't "fight" it. You don't judge it. You just step back and observe it. And if you fall off the horse and it takes you over, learn from it and hop back on the horse. Don't blame yourself. Don't judge. You need not do anything. She may be trying to bring your pain body out, but if you step back and see your feelings of worry, they'll lose their power. You don't have to "make" anything happen with your mother right now. You just need to stay aware and in the now.

I'm jumping in here at random but thank you for this.

Lately I've begun realizing I had been focusing more on people's addictions/egos than the actual person. Stumbling upon this thread, I'm reminded how I'm doing alright with this new outlook of seeing the person as a wonderful being, that happens to have an ego/baggage.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by Zwynd

I'm jumping in here at random but thank you for this.

Lately I've begun realizing I had been focusing more on people's addictions/egos than the actual person. Stumbling upon this thread, I'm reminded how I'm doing alright with this new outlook.

Thank you for remembering who we are.

[throughout]

what uve all said really helps! thanks so much guys

ill have to observe and give compassion and step away if i make some sort of judgement.

[Daphne Lim]

Originally Posted by catalyst

btw - great blog Daphne.

Hey thanks Catalyst! Appreciate the thumbs up.

Agree with you about using our knowledge not to judge but to treat others with compassion. Well said.

[paeterus]

I'm reading a New Earth and it gives me a sense of nihilism that makes me want to just lay down somewhere, relax all my muscles, stare off into the distance and just turn off my brain. That's the feeling I get. There seems to be no point in living a life if you can just be in a moment of now and just lay there in bliss. I don't really know if this is healthy and it's one of my critics of the book. It seems to say just accept the crap as it is and don't try to make anything better. I don't know if I agree with that.

[uberinquisitive]

Originally Posted by paeterus

It seems to say just accept the crap as it is and don't try to make anything better. I don't know if I agree with that.

That's not what the book says.

It says to first accept that you're stuck in the mud. Accept it without judgment, because that extra judgment is like salt on a wound - totally unnecessary. In fact, the extra energy you spend resisting being stuck in the mud tires you out, makes you less able to make powerful decisions on how to change the situation.

Think of it this way. If Bush saw all the facts about the Iraq War at this present moment, without his ego or resistance in the way, he would make a very different decisions.

[Jim11]

Originally Posted by paeterus

I'm reading a New Earth and it gives me a sense of nihilism that makes me want to just lay down somewhere, relax all my muscles, stare off into the distance and just turn off my brain. That's the feeling I get. There seems to be no point in living a life if you can just be in a moment of now and just lay there in bliss. I don't really know if this is healthy and it's one of my critics of the book. It seems to say just accept the crap as it is and don't try to make anything better. I don't know if I agree with that.

I have discussed this book with some different people. A lot of people, including myself, have this same problem with both of his books. I thought they were interesting books but was unable to embrace his ideas in their entirety. It is not only his books, but other similar books with traces of buddhism, present moment stuff, etc.

I am unable to reconcile "being in the background with my brain shut off" with actually doing anything. So, I have taken bits and pieces out of all these readings and made some positive changes in my life, but have some serious problems with the entire philosophy.

That's not what the book says.

It says to first accept that you're stuck in the mud. Accept it without judgment, because that extra judgment is like salt on a wound - totally unnecessary. In fact, the extra energy you spend resisting being stuck in the mud tires you out, makes you less able to make powerful decisions on how to change the situation.

Think of it this way. If Bush saw all the facts about the Iraq War at this present moment, without his ego or resistance in the way, he would make a very different decisions.

That is a fine example about non-judgment and acceptance, and is also an example of positive things I drew from reading it, but there are many other components to the book.

Unfortunately, if I didn't listen to that voice in my head sometimes I would probably just sit on park benches, stare at the trees and the water, etc. I don't live in a monastery so unfortunately it all can't be incorporated into my life.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by Jim11

I am unable to reconcile "being in the background with my brain shut off" with actually doing anything.

Unfortunately, if I didn't listen to that voice in my head sometimes I would probably just sit on park benches, stare at the trees and the water, etc. I don't live in a monastery so unfortunately it all can't be incorporated into my life.

Actually, you're supposed to be so "in the moment" that you can step back and OBSERVE your thoughts without judgment. It's like you're listening to the mind, but your judgments are sounder because you don't "identify" with your negative thoughts, so they don't control you. It's a huge relief to realize you don't have to identify with every thought that runs through your head. You can observe your emotions and thoughts without identifying with them, thus maintaining your consciousness.

[MissK]

Hi there everyone, Hope all is well

Many times in his teaching he says (paraphrase) 'i do not mean to do nothing. Make plans. But stay present in every moment. Know that the achieving is not as important as the doing.' He says many times that your life's situation is not the same as your LIFE. your thought muddles situation often and the clarity that presence brings is able to transmute your life situation.

living in the past, future and habits have always been my downfall in an extreme sense. So i've really taken to the way Tolle points to the truth. I've read about 4 of his works so perhaps in the ones you've read it wasn't specifically stated, but if you really delve into learning about abiding in the present moment practicality and daily life is definitely a part of it.

They key is presence and accepting now. I will not label my job good bad or tedious. it is. I do plan to apply for another job. I am present in every step of this process.

The wonder of the present is that it releases you from making your thoughts important. Once you distance yourself from your thoughts and beliefs about your life, you find immense freedom and courage to do what you really want rather than boxing yourself into your limiting beliefs/thoughts about yourself. You are able to BE and express yourself freely without the gates of your knowledge, your thoughts, the "TRUTH" you've accepted about yourself holding you captive. You ARE LIFE, you are BEING in every moment who you are, not who you've imposed upon yourself. Thats why present action is so much more effective than thought. Thought filters you, limits you to only a small shadow of who you truly are. It dictates what you can do, what is acceptable, instead of letting you BE!!

Becoming present has given me more motivation than i have ever had in life. I am excited to allow my true self to shine through. My beliefs are prison bars. Even when expanding your beliefs and becoming more positive they are still bars because you only act in the space your beliefs allow you to. Presence is infinite space, no limitation. Most people will never leave the prison of their limiting beliefs and stay confined to a shoe box instead of venturing into the fullness that life can be.

Becoming present is so simplistic that it becomes difficult because the mind wants to figure it out. I've really just begun to delve into it but i'd recommend listening to more of Tolle's teaching. It just truly resonates with me, but i'm sure you will find a way to "truth" that works for you. What i actually do is listen to his audiobooks. Lol i am a reader and i hate audiobooks. But i find i am able to experience presence as my subconscious mind absorbs and everything makes sense as my mind stops figuring everything out. The truth is expansive and infinite. You cannot ever understand the whole truth lol. Thats why thought is so limiting. There exist so many permutations and views. Become comfy with not knowing!! You are safe, you are full!! BEING has brought me freedom. I wish you freedom however you find it.

Lots of Love!!!!

[Jim11]

Danny,

I agree with your interpretation of this. I often watch negative thoughts flow on by without identifying with them. This didn`t come from his book specifically, but also from past readings and meditation practice.

My problem is reconciling 100% present moment and consciousness with actually doing something. Perhaps I don`t embrace the idea of giving up some of the mental chatter, planning, etc, but only wish to use these tools to help give me insight into the mind and rid myself of negative thought patterns and habits.

If you take away everything such as the ego, pain body, your perceived identity, etc, then what you have left is that which you cannot see. If I try and achieve this I can be at peace, present, perhaps joyful, but will not accomplish anything that needs to be done.

I can read a particular chapter of a book like this and think it makes sense or was worthwhile. It`s only the teaching in its entirety that I haven`t found completely plausible.

As the above poster mentioned, he does say that he isn`t trying to advise no planning at all or complete non-doing. Perhaps I have only mastered being present when I don`t have to do anything specific, and need to work on incorporating it into other areas of my life.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by Jim11

My problem is reconciling 100% present moment and consciousness with actually doing something.

If you take away everything such as the ego, pain body, your perceived identity, etc, then what you have left is that which you cannot see. If I try and achieve this I can be at peace, present, perhaps joyful, but will not accomplish anything that needs to be done.

You don't have to sit still and do nothing to observe. Stop thinking so much about ego and everything. That is just to help you understand. However, when you are in the now, you should not label where thoughts come from, just observe them and all becomes clear. Being in the now is not work. It is a relief of all your burdens. If you "think about being in the now", you are not really in the now. Thoughts may run through your head, but you don't analyze them because then you're thinking instead of observing. If you're truly in the now, action becomes mentally effortless and clear. Get out of your head.

[MissK]

Yes indeed...i got excited and just went off on a tangent without practical advice lol Sorry!!

The first thing to do is just observe your thoughts. Stop identifying with them. Just listen. Like your eavesdropping almost.

You will realize that your mind is really not you. There you are observing and there is your mind- off worrying about things, thinking of future, past, analyzing everything, telling you yes or no. Scrutinizing, criticizing people, yourself. Lots of judging.

Just LISTEN. Its amazing. What will strike you is oftentimes- you have no say over them. Things are just randomly popping up. Don't think. Don't judge yourself or thoughts as good or bad. Just observe your mind and thoughts doing what they do. This will create separation from your thoughts (don't judge the separation as bad, good, right or wrong lol or get into discussions whether its healthy or not- this is more mind). You'll realize you are not your thoughts and you'll be able to function and DO naturally and BE without thought interrupting the real you.

[wolfgang]

If other people exhibit some pain body - look at it as yours. Treat it like you treat your own.

If you think you have been able to detach from yours, then you know how to treat a pain body - do the same to someone else's.

[MissK]

-observe your thoughts

-REALLY use your physical senses- pay attention to what you see, how it smells, what it looks like, sounds like, feels like, everything. sitting down, standing up, your steps, that tree...

-pay attn to your inner body- feel the life energy flowing through it, focus on your breathing, blinking and other movement.

-focus on every moment- do not make things a mean to an end. instead of getting ready to go to work, rushing through work to get home, rushing out house to meet friends, rushing from bar to get home, etc. try this: focus on brushing you top teeth, then bottom, then tongue, then gums. focus on flossing, focus on mouthwash. focus on taking off your clothes, focus on adjusting water, focus on the way the water feels on your skin, focus on washing every part, focus on drying off, focus on lotioning, ETC!! focus on what you are typing, focus on moving stack of paper, focus on speaking to your boss, FOCUS!! point shut off autopilot.

this particular step is what got me out of my head. when you master focus you realize how much of life you were missing.

Lots of love!!!