Can you really ever be 100% hapy?

[Orange]

It seems to me that everything evens out and there is a natral balance to everything.. So i really dont get where long term happiness comes from. Every great thing has its down side and every bad thing has its upside.
First i thought.. well maby its just about how you relate to whatever is happening.. but even when you do relate to things in a good way it evens up and become devalued. If your rich then money just becomes less valuble if you cant see somone you love for ages it just makes it that much better when you do finaly get to see them.
Is this natral balance just hear to make sure we are always being pushed farword with our purpose or somthing...
yeah.. This kinda thing reminds me or the thory of relativty. A good way to discribe it is a quote by picasso "I would like to be a poor man with lots of money"
I love that quote.. It really sums up what im trying to say...
but yeah.. what are your thoughts?

[lasti]

Originally Posted by Orange

It seems to me that everything evens out and there is a natral balance to everything.. So i really dont get where long term happiness comes from. Every great thing has its down side and every bad thing has its upside.

Love, for example, does it have a bad side?

[Brutha]

Things outside of yourself like money can't give you longterm happieness.
That's something that you have to search inside yourself.

[Teraleth]

In short, yes. I'll leave why it's possible (and how to achieve it) as an exercise for your mind.

[jawillie]

I will say no.

Just because I am taking a temporary vacation from happiness for a bit. I am aware I am choosing this. But I am still not happy.

So, no.

[Angela]

A vacation from happiness? Where are you going?

[marinik]

If there were 100% happiness the only thing would be suicide after that! Imagine getting there and then asking what is next? 101% ???? In my opinion there is just the path to being happier and happier all the time (well almost ). An ounce a day. Ounce by ounce you get to a tone and then 2 tons and zillion tons!

Just sure little steps. For me the journey is the real joy. And being happier today than yesterday is the real goal!

And that makes me happy

[pkeod]

You can have 99.9% positive energy (nothing makes you angry, never beat yourself up over things out of your control) and that will help.

[SunnKali]

this thread reminded me I need to re-read the book "Happy for No Reason."

I think you can be 100% happy all the time. As others have said, it's something inside you. It's developing a resiliency that isn't dependent on external sources for your high's and low's.

[Jarrod]

If your happiness depends on the events of the world it will never be 100%.

If your happiness depends on the thoughts and emotions inside you then it will never be 100%.

If your happiness comes from beyond anything recognisable by the mind then it will always be 100%. It is there or it is not, access it or don't. Anything else is a case of mistaken identity.

Once you are 100% happy what next? Continue as nothing has changed.

[Daphne Lim]

Originally Posted by Orange

It seems to me that everything evens out and there is a natral balance to everything.. So i really dont get where long term happiness comes from. Every great thing has its down side and every bad thing has its upside.

Hi Orange,

I guess it depends on whether you define happiness as a feeling. If so, then it is relative. You can't understand light without knowing darkness, and heat has no meaning if its opposite cold did not exist. In that sense, if you have never been sad, you would not know when you are happy.

Long term happiness is a decision to think a certain way. To see the good in everything and be grateful. It's more an inner calmness than a feeling. It's the ability to detach from the outcome and enjoy the process. And because this is a state of mind, which does not change the way feelings do, then yes you can be happy 100% of the time, or close to it.

I've been happy for many years now regardless of external circumstances, if that makes sense.

[Parthon]

Yes! And No! And Yes!

Problem: What is 100% happiness, what does it look like? Does it just mean that you have 0% of other emotions, or that your happiness is a certain percentage of total bliss, which would be 100%? How could you measure it. Does happiness have quality? Could you have bad happiness and good happiness, and if so, which one counts? If you are 100% full of bad happiness, then what? What happens at 100%? Are you full? What happens if you are at 100% happiness and then you get happier?

These aren't meant to be answered by the way.

I find the problem is with the question. Is it possible to be genuinely, positively extremely happy? Yes. Can you be this all the time forever and ever? Nopes, because that's not the purpose of feelings. Can you be grateful for the world and enjoy every moment of it, through happiness, sadness, and everything inbetween? Sure can!

From what I've learnt, it's not important how happy you are right now, because that will change, what is important is increasing your happiness, which means increasing the quality of your life. I don't mean getting new stuff either, like a bigger boat or faster TV. I mean going out there, enriching your life, conquering challenges and accomplishing true and deep goals. This will enhance your life, and improve it overall. You will be happier for a much longer time.

Can you be 100% happy? Wrong question. Can you become happier all the time? Yes!

Ultimate question: What can you do right now that would improve your life and lead to increased happiness?

[MINDLESS15]

No. I've heard through out my life that you CAN find happiness or good in all things regardless. But that idea, I think, is just a way for many people to deal with the grief stricken times or things in life.

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.

[Angela]

Parthon, I LOVE your answer! Expanding more and more, continuously. I love it.

I do wonder why so many people (and popular books!) focus on happiness so much. Happiness is one shade, and there are so many other variations of feeling good. Chasing after a shade, to me, is like chasing after a greased pig, which can be fun, but a little exhausting. What tends to work better for me is to practice relaxing more and more into infinite joy that is who I really am. Just to let go of resisting my essence.

[throughout]

i think we are asking the wrong question. instead we should probably ask why do we seek happiness so much?

my opinion is that you can b peaceful all the time but a part of you wont join you and that part is ur ego.

i got this from the book I read called "A new Earth."

[ar81]

Our society defines happiness as lack of problems.
In Iraq their problem is to stay alive.
Here a problem could be to wake up late, to have a scratch in the car, to get wet with rain, to feel overwhelmed by heat or catching a cold in the snow.
So by defeinition we always have problems, so by definition it would be impossible to be happy...

But then how do you explain those moments of laugh we have from time to time?

If there is a storm with lightnings and thunders outside we do not need to have storm inside our brain or soul. Storms inside our souls if what makes us unhappy.

[Parthon]

Originally Posted by Angela

Parthon, I LOVE your answer! Expanding more and more, continuously. I love it.

I do wonder why so many people (and popular books!) focus on happiness so much. Happiness is one shade, and there are so many other variations of feeling good. Chasing after a shade, to me, is like chasing after a greased pig, which can be fun, but a little exhausting. What tends to work better for me is to practice relaxing more and more into infinite joy that is who I really am. Just to let go of resisting my essence.

Hahaha! Great imagery. Just the idea of chasing after happiness like chasing a greased pig makes me laugh. It's so apt! I think happiness is more slippery though. Being accepting is the key to it though, accepting the present moment, accepting the wonderment that we all are, and accepting all of life and the challenges it gives us. Perhaps before we can be joyful, we need to accept that there can be joy, whenever, wherever.

Originally Posted by throughout

i think we are asking the wrong question. instead we should probably ask why do we seek happiness so much?

my opinion is that you can b peaceful all the time but a part of you wont join you and that part is ur ego.

i got this from the book I read called "A new Earth."

I think you are on to something. The "seeking" of happiness is the problem, because true happiness is in the moment, not anywhere else. Just being present brings joy and peace into whatever you are currently feeling. It's possible to feel sad, and bring joy into the moment at the same time.

I think the Ego likes to seek happiness, because it's out there. It can make itself feel more complete if it gets there, but you never get there, because the seeking itself is the problem. Plus you could always be *more* happy, in theory, so you are dissatisfied because there's the next big happiness to seek. No wonder we are all tired, always trying to get somewhere we don't want to be.

It's possible to be completely at peace though, but it has to come from outside the Ego. If you are aware, present and free of attachments, you will find peace, no doubt. This peace permeates all of you, even your Ego. Like a puppy the Ego can be trained to behave like it should, it's a good slave, but a terrible master. It can reflect the peace you create, but first you have to learn how to create peace on your own.

[metamorph]

I think you can become more and more happy over time. I can honestly say that 99% of the time in the last 3 months, I have happier than I have been on my happiest days 5 or 10 years ago. There are still ups and downs, but the downs are on a higher level of happiness.

But then on a different plane, happiness is irrelevant

[Dannyboy1]

Just not all the time.

[Parthon]

Metamorph: Do you also find it that even when you're unhappy now, you are still happier than when you were happy back then?

I do

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by Parthon

Metamorph: Do you also find it that even when you're unhappy now, you are still happier than when you were happy back then?

I do

Yes, that's what I meant. There are a few exceptions (real deep lows) but also these last only a fraction of the time they used to last in the past. So I think there is definitely an upward spiral.

But I guess happiness is a double-edges sword: The obsession with the concept of happiness can create the unhappiness that people still perceive on their quest for "100%" happiness. To be quite honest, I do not have to be 100% happy all the time. I notice lows/unhappiness as they appear and that is just fine. They will go away anyway.

[Parthon]

Perhaps the key is non-attachment.

There are ups and downs, highs and lows, but they all come and go. Impermanence is the only permanent trait of it all. If that's the case, then the only thing to do is live in the present moment and deal with what's going on right now. If you are happy, enjoy the crap out of it. Revel in happiness, have fun with happiness and above all, immerse yourself in the happiness. It will soon pass, so enjoy it while you can.

Same goes for unhappiness as well, while it is around, do the best you can with it. You don't have to enjoy it, but you can improve your outlook around it. Also remember that it too will pass, at it will lighten the burden and heaviness of it all.

[metamorph]

Originally Posted by Parthon

Perhaps the key is non-attachment.
Same goes for unhappiness as well, while it is around, do the best you can with it. You don't have to enjoy it, but you can improve your outlook around it. Also remember that it too will pass, at it will lighten the burden and heaviness of it all.

Yes, enjoying unhappiness is not really possible, I guess otherwise it would not be true unhappiness. But we can appreciate "unhappiness" as just another fleeting emotion and see what is going on inside of us.

[metamorph]

I was just reading in de Mello's "Awareness" this morning:

"...but you can't have the wrong notion on happiness. Did you think happiness was excitement or thrills? That's what causes the depression.... You're thrilled. all right, but you are just preparing for your next depression. You're thrilled but you pick-up the anxiety behind that: How can I make it last? That's not happiness, that' addiction......... There's only one reason why you're not experiencing bliss at this present moment, and it's because you're thinking or focussing on what you don't have..."

Have a great day everyone

[ar81]

I wonder if you can be 90% happy.
I wonder if anyone can be 90% pregnant...

[actualize81]

I generally believe that e the majority of people sway between the duality of happy and unhappy depending on external conditions. You know, happy when they have a relationship, money, a house, etc....

Eventually external conditions become annoying and people become desperate to feel good most, if not all of the time. This is where spirituality can come into play. Also, the realization that negativity is trapped within you.

This is where personal growth is involved and the courage to change. The happiest people have overcome tremendous obstacles and grown from them. I know people who have changed their mind and reacted to everything like it was awesome and just pretended being happy as often as possible. The brains plasticity will help you change and you'll build more powerful synapses and it'll be easier for you to produce happiness. Act as if..

Eventually it will became a reality. I'm sure it's not easy, but I'd imagine its amazingly rewarding..

I had a very depressed friend who did this and now she is truly the happiest person I know.

[Parthon]

I found that as well. I'm one of the most happy people I know, even when I seem stressed or tired or angry. In fact, it's because I can get stressed or angry that I can also get happy. 100% expression really means all expressions. Just because you are happy, that doesn't mean you can't be pissed off too.

All feelings really come from within, but most people let it be caused by others, and then later blame them for what's going on. It's very hard to be happy when your emotional state is completely depending on outside situations. Like a weather vane, you'd twist and turn in the wind. That doesn't sound like fun.

The happiest people can find the happiness inside themselves, express it to everyone and eventually see the happiness that resonates inside every event, place and person.

I wouldn't say your very happy friend is pretending to be happy, I think she discovered the truth.

[funchy]

Sure, why not. Happiness is only a state of mind. The right perspective does wonders.

You may have days where you feel ill or frustrated, but as long as you accept it and can be content, you can still be happy.

One of the first steps is to recognize that the "bad" are learning experiences. They're what give us character. They're what give us what we need to really appreciate things. Once you accept that "bad" things must happen, then the bad thing isn't so stressful.