I feel frustrated all day, what should I do?

[bob5483]

Hey everyone,

I am currently at a job where every single day I am angry and frustrated with the people I work with and the job itself. I am younger then everyone by about 20 years and so in turn I relate to no one. Worst of all they treat me with no respect and it has gotten the point where I find myself in fights with them almost daily. I have tried to find employment elsewhere but I am struggling with the down economy in the US. I cannot quit without another job because I live paycheck to paycheck. I have thought of switching careers but I have no clue what I want to do.

I have become so emotionally upset with my job that it has really zapped my energy and passion for life. It makes me sick thinking of coming to work in the morning. I fight through traffic just to come to a place that I absolutly hate, it makes no sense to me. But yet I do not want to just go from one bad job to the next. I guess my question is this, how do I get past all of my feelings of anger and hate so that I can find what I truely want to do with my life. I feel that my negative feelings are holding me back from discovering what I want.

I have tried career counseling but I was still left with no answers...I am truely lost. I have become so down, I feel that there is nothing I care to do anymore. The only activities that I enjoy now are exercise, TV and sleep. Perhaps I should seek emotional counselling, but I wanted to see what you folks had to say first.

[ydnab40]

With such strong feelings the first thing to do is get out. Quit your job and take another job, any job, even street sweeper!! The atmosphere can only be better than the one you are in now.
Then, once you are free of such negative energy you will be able to pause and take a long look at your life and where you want to take it. College courses, vocational qualifications, new career etc.

But you won't be able to have a clear view of yourself until you escape that negative atmosphere that is obviously draining all the life out of you.

[striving4peace]

stop watching tv and start talking to people. Socialise.
start social networking. Why?
1) u can find out about other people's jobs and careers
2) they can help u get jobs

and no, u don't have to spend truckloads of money to socialise / social network. but putting concious effort into this will yeild great rewards, i promise you.

also, research. learn. find out what you like finding out about! and then find a way to make a career out of it.

[Jarrod]

In addition to the above advice I would add something to deal with painful jobs.

I worked in a job I hated for many years (it stressed me out terribly). Eventually I learned how to be independent of what was going on around me and be happy working there. Here is the how of what happened: How to not hate your job

The bottom line is that all this suffering that you are going through is 100% your responsibility. The frustration is triggered by others but it is still frustration that already exists inside you, waiting to be roused.

In life things go bad/wrong (as you know) so more important than finding the perfect job is to learn how to deal with life. You can still quit this job but learning is the most important element.

[Starman]

My last job was simular to what you're describing, except that for me, everyone was more educated than I. Though I was doing good work, they would belittle my accomplishments and constantly went out of the way to make me feel stupid.

I do think there is a point where it becomes obvious to you and those around you, that its time to leave, because things have just gotten too negitive.

Finally all this came to a head and I quit. It took some time for me to realize what I really did for those people, that I really contributed significantly, though no one there would ever admit that. It took a couple of weeks for me to get my head on straight after that experience.

You may need some time to sort all of this out after you leave your present job.
When it's over, take some time to think about what you did there, and you'll realize you did contribute, and that you will contribute again, hopefully in an environment where you're appriciated.

* Starman

[ar81]

So you have a job that treats you badly and pays not so good?
Learn to manage your emotions, then look for a job that treats you well and pays better.

If I say an insult, an ironic comment or an ad hominem attack, I am inviting you to fight.
If you take the invitation, you will reply with another invitation.
Then the other person will be hostile, you will be hostile, and you know where it will end. It is a very predictable chemical reaction... you become a reactant in a reaction, a passive taker of invitations. People can manipulate your actions and emotions.

But if you are in control, you will create a behavior, you create invitations. You do not take them.

There is something called drama triangle.
Try googling for it.
I think you are trapped in one of those 3 roles (rescuer, victim, persecutor) and inviting others to be in the other two. If you enter one role, others will enter the other two.

I have been slowly putting it into practice at work, and things are being modified slowly. We still do not trust each other, but at least there are no ugly invitations anymore. I realize I had a great deal of contribution in the problem, since I was trapped in the triangle too.

You do not deserve to be mistreated. The worst they can do is to fire you. But if they do so, they better make sure you will never be their customer or their boss. If they fire you, you need to save money to survive at least 6 months, so you are not stressed while you look for a job.

My bet is that their mistreatment is an invitation, and they are playing a game of roles with you, and yo are young and easy to manipulate. Just do not play that game. Go do your job, and don't feed the trolls.

Or it could be possible that they are used to drama triangle, so either you invited them or they invited you, or both. So whatever happened you are inside the game.

When you learn to manage your emotions and save some money, leave that job and find a good one.

At personal effectiveness forum I posted useful tips to look for a job.

[mej023]

When all you do is look at "what is" then that becomes your vibration and perpetuates it.

Start a rampage of appreciation. That will keep you focused on things that feel good.

When you feel good then your vibration changes and you get more feeling good.

Wouldn't it be great if your post here turned your life around?

[catalyst]

Bob,

Frustration stems from your resistance to the situation. As bad as things are, you can't 'think' it away, and your emotions and energy are wasted by beating your head against the wall thinking about how horrible your situation is.

I am not saying to resign your hopes and ambitions and forget changing jobs. Rather, that first you need to get a grip of yourself. I feel often the same way as you, so I'm replying in hopes that I also follow through on the same advice.

Both you and I have the power to change our life situation, but before we can do so, we need to become aware of what we're after. Like you said, moving from one dead end job to another won't accomplish anything. Even if you find a better job in the future, will we end up in the same place? Feeling unfulfilled and wanting of something else? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in where we want to be, that we lose all focus on the present moment. While our present situation may not be optimal, we can't make good decisions if we aren't conscious of what we want - if our emotions are not aligned to our thoughts. When you act out of desperation, you're unlikely to make the right decisions.

I'm finding that by meditating and coming to acceptance of my present situation is making me feel better able to plan what I will do next. By accepting how things are, I'm not deciding to resign and accept my situation, but instead freeing up my energy that was causing conflict and resistance in my mind, so I can apply it to figure out a way to make things better for tomorrow. Today is the seed of tomorrow, and all that matters.

[Daphne Lim]

Hi Bob,

I hated my first job too. Most of my colleagues were older, cliquey and gossipy. Yet in hindsight I learnt so much from that job that has stood me in good stead until today. Plus, every other job since has been a cinch in comparison! Sometimes there is a diamond in the mud, if you can see it.

Hang in there and like the rest said, work on your own internal issues. That way, you'll be better prepared for the next job, and perhaps even feel a little better in this one.

All the best.