Always Wanting to Be Elsewhere

[ScotiaCoast]

I always seem to be chronically unhappy with my present situation. I try to stay positive and optimistic, and on the outisde I think I convey that; but inside I am always obsessing over how to change my current situation/location/etc etc.. I'm finding that no matter where I am -- physically, mentally, emotionally -- I seem to get bored easily and always want to be elsewhere. Last year I very badly wanted to transfer to another university. I did, and now this year (just shy of a month in) I just want to go back. This summer I couldn't stop obsessing over finding a way out of my summer job. When I'm alone, I want other people around. When I'm around other people, I sometimes just want to be alone. No matter what really happened in the past (good or bad), I become reminiscent of it and wish I could go back. I often read about staying in the Now and accepting my current reality, but for some reason these opposing thoughts prevail. I want to be happy, but my thoughts and actions certainly wouldn't convince anyone of this. How can one deal with contradictory thoughts like this?

[dancer]

Hi ScotiaCoast,

Have you read Eckhart Tolle's 'The Power of Now' and "A New Earth'? These books help with living Now and also give tips on how to accept and surrender to what is. When you are feeling restless and have the urge to be somewhere else, accept that you are feeling this and watch what happens. As you are accepting, just feel the feeling without any mind chatter or story about what you are feeling. Check if the feeling is coming from a specific area in your body. Be watchful and see what happens.

[Angela]

Your situation sounds a lot like my sweetheart's -- in my coaching, he found he had a couple of limiting beliefs that had him continuously striving to be other than where he is. He started believing this self-stoppers when something happened when he was 9 years old, and so he'd had years of practice believing them! So he would spend his life feeling like he would be satisfied and fulfilled, if only he were not where he is. Never here and now. This had a huge impact on him and the people in his life, and when he was really present to those impacts, a new possibility arose for him that worked much better, and helped him to practice letting go of his old pain beliefs that he hadn't even realized were running him.

I highly recommend boldly looking at your habitual thoughts, to see how beliefs you're not even consciously aware of are controlling you.