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| I'm not depressed or anything. However, there seems to be something missing from my life. I don't what it is or how to fix it. Every week is the same. I drink on Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I go to school the other days. I guess I'm just bored with the monotony. I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that I feel a deep void in my life that I can't fix. It seems as though I have nothing to look forward to. Sometimes I think that if I were to be in a relationship, it would help things. I quickly realize this is not the case, because I should be able to feel my own void. It should not have to rely on someone else. I only have 2 years left of school before I graduate and can start making money, but I don't care. I know I will feel the same then as I do now. I will still have something missing. I'm thinking about joining the Marines to become a linguist. I enjoy languages a lot, so I think it will suit me. But, will that really help anything? Probably not. I don't know. I just wanted to vent.
__________________ http://www.zenishbb.com Last edited by jwh335 : 09-07-2008 at 09:36 AM. |
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| Learning is entirely what I do in my free time. That's all I ever do. I just read. I still feel bored though :/
__________________ http://www.zenishbb.com |
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| Hi jwh335 I know exactly how you feel.. I've lived a lot of my life in the same miserable place. The emptiness inside is all hollow, and vacant, and there's the feeling that there's no meaning or purpose in life. I wish that I could say it's an easy, and simple journey out of it, and for some, who can accept that belief, it very well could be. For me, I know from my own experience that it's a place that I often find myself in, when life isn't feeling alive. When I lack purpose, and vision, when I have no clear sense of where to go or what to do.. I find myself empty and hollow inside... Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to live life, feeling alive, vibrant, whole, and complete?? It's definitely not impossible... and it's only when we find our reasons for living, our passion, and our purpose that we get to glimpse those moments of being alive, and having a life.. To fill that emptiness, you have to keep asking yourself, what is your joy, what is your passion. Until you keep trying, exploring, making the effort, and experimenting and trying new things, you won't ever know for sure.. It's almost impossible to know what gives us life, what brings us to life, what makes us tick, what gives us joy, but if we do enough, try enough, keep experimenting, keep meeting people, and taking the time, and the space, to be with ourselves, then we can slowly and surely arrive there. The question you have to start off with, is do you want to fill that void?? If so, ask yourself what might that void be? What area of your life is missing, or lacking? What might you be able to do fill that void? And most importantly, what would life look like when the void is filled?? I know from experience that the void is only ever as empty and vacant as it feels in the moment. In truth, it's always full, and we're always complete. The challenge is to get to that place of knowing and being.. The journey, is the point of it.. So relish the fact you have a void, and know that it is the journey you have to take, in order to fill that void, that you have chosen in this moment to experience. Then allow yourself the luxury and the priviledge of travelling that journey, and know that the experiences you encounter along the way, are as important as reaching the final destination. In time, you may be so luck to get there, or not, but that's not the point. The point is to keep trying.. IMHO.. Hope that helps.. |
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| One of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to help others in need. Is there some way you can give to those who are vulnerable? Could you volunteer for a couple of hours a week? It might be helping someone with a disability or someone who is homeless in a shelter, an elderly person who just wants someone to talk to etc Also what hobbies did you do as a child? Is there something there that you would like to take up again? What about a new hobby. I work with many people who experience this void due to addiction and often it is that they are just not happy with who they are as a person or something that has happened. Is this about something deeper than just feeling bored???? Alison |
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| maybe your not putting what you read into action, stop reading so much and get involved in something new and out of the ordinary for you. mix it up. Be more action orientated and throw yourself into doing a completely different activity. |
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| Dear jwh335, Sorry for the longer length of this post, just really got on a roll sharing my personal experience with you. From my past experiences, I feel like I can relate with your experience. Almost like there is not anything in existence that you know for sure will give you satisfaction or fulfillment? If that resonates with you a bit, then I have been there. You mentioned going out 3 nights a week and going to school the rest of the time. To understand or get a picture of where you need to go, it is often helpful to have a clear understanding of where you are now. I would suggest really pondering the question, "Why do I engage in the activities that I am currently engaged in". For me I have found that every activity in my life is for the purpose of happiness or pleasure. Even if something makes me miserable right now, I continue on in the hope of happiness in the future. Everything is an investment for happiness. So, I would venture to say that you drink 3 nights a week and go to school for the purpose of happiness. Drinking is a very dull form of happiness in the sense that it is extremely temporary and is not based on any core levels of your existence. Drinking is a quick way to stimulate or alter the drinkers senses, which gives a little variety to that persons sense experience if nothing else. School is often tied to making money, and money is often tied to comfortable living and eventually happiness. Comfort is used in terms of the senses. Like, "I am comfortable right now because my ears are being stimulated by this music". Or, "I am comfortable now because this couch feels soft and soothing to my body". Steve Pavlina has used the term "lower self" and has defined the lower self as "your physical, manifested being", which is undoubtedly comprised of your senses. He goes on to say, "Note that you are not your lower self. You are not your senses. That may seem obvious. I mean I've never heard anybody say that "I am my tongue", or "I am my hands", or even that "I am the combination of all of my senses". Even though the above point is somewhat obvious, you will see that most endeavors in life are based on our senses. We give effort to things that promote sensual pleasure and we are averse to activities that cause sensual pain or discomfort. Therefore I say, find out why you are doing what you are doing now. If you find that most of your activities are geared towards providing for your senses, which are NOT YOU, then it may give you some understanding as to why YOU are not happy. If you are trying to please your senses may not be anywhere near pleasing your deeper self.
__________________ All glories to inspired, enlightened living, that is full of continuously perfected excellence! Visit www.satvatove.com -- Abhay Khurana |
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