What am I afraid of!?
 

Hello guys, since the last 3 years or so I have been VERY afraid of doing certain things; even those that are good for me. For example I am about to start university this year and after going to a careers advisor and finding out what suits me best...I still feel VERY afraid of the whole "Going To University" idea. Also, I used to dance 2 years ago. Now I have not been dancing for so long, every time I want to go back; I travel to the place and decide not to enter the dance session. What am I avoiding or rather fearing? I also think so much into the future that I can't start anything; if I do I would give it up really quickly.

I have to stress that I actually FEEL REALLY AFRAID, as if there's real danger.

I want to be my old self again, where I didn't fear anything so trivial; but how?

What is fear?

What does it look like inside of you?

What makes it up, what you call fear?

Know all of its aspects and then you be able to step aside it.

Hi Muzzinho,

There are so many reasons we fear what we fear. The trick is to identify them and move past them.

Here's an article I wrote that might help you figure it out: Overcome Your Fear. Good luck!

list your fears
 

Hi,

make alist of your fears and see if there is a theme to them, once you know what the fears are and find out the connection you can resolve the cause of all of them.

dave

I have read many times that the only way to get rid of a fear is to go out and do the thing you're afraid of. Apparently the definition of fear is "Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real" However I agree that in your case it would be a very good idea to make a list of all the things you're afraid of and look for a common theme among them. That way you may be able to find out what you're REALLY afraid of, and when you know what the problem is it will be much easier to find a solution for it. Have you looked into psychotherapy?

Jack Canfield suggests several ways of dealing with fear. One is to ask yourself what you are imagining is scary to you and then replace that image with its positive opposite. Another is to focus on the physical sensations you are feeling and then focus on those feelings you would like to experience instead (ex courage, self-confidence, calm, joy). Fix these two different impressions firmly in your mind's eye, then slowly shuttle back and forth between the two, spending about 15 seconds in each one. After a minute or two the fear will dissapate. Another is to scale down the risk, do whatever aspect of the goal would be easiest for you, and then gradually work up to doing the whole thing.

Finally, if your fear is really a phobia, he suggests using a technique developed by Dr Roger Callahan. "The process uses a simple but precise pattern of tapping on various points of the body while you simultaneously imagine the object or experience that stimulates your phobic reaction. It acts in much the same way as a virus in a computer program by pernamently interrupting the "program" or sequence of events that occur in the brain between the initial sighting of the thing you are afraid of...and the physical response...you experience" Maybe this would help?

So the fear starts to come up when you are thinking about doing certain things like dancing and going to career counseling? What you said about "thinking into the future" sounded like an interesting clue -- it sounds like you start spinning out on bad things that could happen in the future if you started doing something.

If I'm right about that, it may be useful for you to ask yourself: what's the bad future event that has you worried? In other words, what's the bad thing that will happen if you dance or get career counseling? That sounds like a useful awareness to have.

Best,
Chris
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