changing obsessions

[audioartist]

for the last 3-4 years i had been very obsessed with music and sound to the point where it took over most of my waking thoughts, consciousness and even my dreams

in some ways it was very negative, i broke up with my girlfriend and my head was always in the clouds

but in other ways it was very positive, a huge output of songwriting and alot of aquired talent

the band i had that drove my obsession broke up...my girlfriend left the country, my degree finished, my songs dried up and i turned to self help books

i feel they've been very beneficial in lots of way but i also feel its been replacing my music obsession

im writing less and my daily thoughts are jumbled bits of advice i repeat to myself to try to stay calm and happy

im starting to feel like i cant stop these patterns....

i dont know if all these rapid thoughts are making me feel better or worse, i dont have a job at the moment and have moved to a new area, i dont have much (friends, things to do, activities) to take my mind off of the self help advice going round and round in my head

its making me anxious and ive started developing a twitch below my left eye

can self help be bad for you?

i guess i just need to get out more and stop thinking all the time

its a habit thats hard to break...

occasionally the self help works and i reach moments of relaxed bliss but they're becoming rarer

im not sure what my point is but in the spirit of many people around here, i think i just wanted to let something out

thanks

lew

[uberinquisitive]

I'm an artist, too.

A member of this forum, mercuryrising - gave me some great advice: especially as artists, our job is to stay vulnerable and to honor our imperfections.

In that spirit, I do still encourage you to keep up with the self-help. But - only as it helps your art. I use self-help to find ways to unleash my creativity.

Finding everlasting peace doesn't interest me. Either I find that peace through my art, or not at all. But I'm interested in learning how to tone down distractions in my mind, so my creativity can come out.

I'm NOT interested in changing my obsessive personality. My life path is to be an artist, not to be a self-help guru.

Try channeling your energy to other art forms. It works for me (music and music videos are my ultimate obsessions).

[audioartist]

thanks for the advice

i dont think i could change the obsessiveness if i tried

my songwriting creativity came back to visit me yesterday and i felt a contentment i haven't felt for a long time

just gotta keep the songwriting going i suppose, its been my own form of therapy for a long time and i see my happiness directly correlated to my productivity in this field

what articles have you found helpful?

im liking...

8 ways to cultivate burning desire
10 reasons you shouldn't get a job
how to become an early riser
finding your purpose
the meaning of life series
the courage to live consciously

off the top of my head, lol

good luck with your work

[uberinquisitive]

I feel it's important to step back from too much PD (personal development). I think it was Sartre who said (and I paraphrase): be careful of casting out all your demons...you may kill that which is best in you.

That said...

Have you found a life purpose statement? I found mine, but not by using Steve's, or anyone else's method. It just came to me (by the way, I'm a writer).

To create
To express
To experience
To inspire
TO THE WORLD

Beauty, Love, Adventure, Mystery

You are welcome to adapt the above to suit you, if you want. Or, you can create a short piece of music that reflects your feelings. Or draw a picture. Or design a piece of textile. Etc.

As long as it evokes a deep longing in you.

This life purpose has given me a deep clarity about where my art goes. It tells me what actions to take....what nouns to aspire to...what scope to go for...

It actually came into effect a day ago:

I am writing a TV spec script. The deadline is tomorrow, for a 1-hour episode.

I had been working, for about 2 weeks, on the script. But it was a struggle. This is my first TV script, so the formatting isn't totally comfy. And the storyline just....I don't know, I didn't love it.

Then, I started listening to Kraftwerk's "Die Mesch-Machine" album (definitely one of the soundtracks for my life purpose) for almost 24 hours straight. I didn't sleep. I barely ate. I basically sat in a chair and stared into space, with the volume on blast through my headphones. Yea - I'm obsessive!

So, I threw out the script I had been working on and started from scratch. Yes...24 hours before deadline, I started anew.

People think I'm nuts to kill something so close to deadline. This new draft will not be polished as the older draft might have been. But the new draft is far more outstanding and aligned to my life purpose - it even "feels" different.

Even my movie screenplays (I've finished about 2 - I just started my writing career a few months ago), they are evolving to encompass my life path and very specific aesthetic. Otherwise, I don't even want to put my name on it or be associated with it.

Anyways, I'd be happy to know what your thoughts are. It's rather nice to have another obsessed artist on this forum - I was feeling lonely!

[openyourize]

you sound like me. i often get TOOOOOTALLYYYY drawn into a land of deep deep thought and self help and over obsessiveness about music and art and writing and dreams and meanings of things and stuff. everything gets all serious seeming and starts to freak me out. i start feeling kind of out of control, but also like some spiritual thing is taking me over, but after awhile it just feels like im stuck in a weird pile of mush and going nowhere with what was once my inspiration.

and to be honest, i dont really know what gets me out of it. but i have gone into it and come back out a few times in my life. getting stuck in it is usually radiohead's fault. but i think what i eventually do is distract myself with something new. about a year ago i started a weaving class. so now i weave. its weird how its such a form of expression and stress relief. it requires thought and concentration, but can also be done mindlessly at the same time. and its so methodical and mathematical and linear and patterney, it amuses me. and it keeps my hands busy.

i would also recommend doing this ONE thing for yourself that will require a good amount of self discipline: get a source of income. whether it be playing some gigs or getting a stupid job at a cafe or library for awhile, being productive and making money helps you feel like you are actually moving forward and not stuck in mush. i agree with steves article about never getting a job, but to start from nothing and feeling stuck makes a very difficult foundation for starting your own business and making money ONLY that way. thats my opinion anyway. i plan to not have a real job one day, but for now i have to make money while i plan for it. plus a good chunk of start-up capital is nice and convenient to have when starting to work for yourself. so im trying to save.

[openyourize]

hey and i just listened to some of your stuff on myspace, very cool!!